We always knew they were wankers

Now the rest of the world is catching on, by the looks of William Saletan’s article in Slate this week, outstandingly titled “Wank Thyself — The Pro-Life Case for Masturbation”:

According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, masturbation is “intrinsically and gravely disordered.” That’s because “sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.” If you aren’t making babies, you can’t play with the equipment.

But what if playing with the equipment helps you make babies?

The article then goes on to cite a recent study that shows daily ejaculation improves the quality of sperm:

Daily sex (or ejaculating daily) for seven days improves men’s sperm quality by reducing the amount of DNA damage, according to an Australian study presented today (Tuesday) to the 25th annual meeting of the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology in Amsterdam.

A fap-fap-fapple a day keeps the urologist away!

In the Catholic context of sex-for-procreation-only, Saletan muses that since  daily autonomous ejaculations improve sperm quality and make reproduction that much easier, they shouldn’t be proscribed as “disordered”.  Anything that facilitates the end goal of producing more tithing Catholics should not only be acceptable but favourable and highly recommended behaviour for anyone who considers procreation the sole purpose of sexual congress.   Somebody call the Pope and tell him “Ur doin it wrong!” because Saletan’s theory makes sense.

But only if one’s logic circuits haven’t been fried and fused together into wizened little raisin-like clumps of nonfuctional sinew by feverish religious fervour.   There’s no doubt that many of these people already have matters well in hand, but I don’t think the Pope will be writing an encyclical praising the procreative glory of pounding the hound anytime soon.

Randall’s rolling roadshow flops

Anti-abortion fruitcake Randall Terry, who’s on a road tour to beg senators to “Stop Sotomayor!” by filibustering her nomination to SCOTUS, wasn’t having much luck in Kansas yesterday:

Terry’s 45-minute protest not far from Sen. Sam Brownback’s office drew one columnist, one TV cameraman, a family of three and a woman who arrived as he packed up for his next stop, Topeka. He’s on a 12-city tour, calling for a Senate filibuster against Sotomayor. Brownback’s staff didn’t even let him into their office.

Well, that can’t be good.  Brownback is of the same ideological bent as Terry, and he wouldn’t even let him in the office to use the bathroom, let alone talk to him about filibustering.  Could it be that even mainstream anti-choicers like Brownback have had enough of the brain-damaged fanaticism of crazed fascist punks like Terry and his aborted baby, Operation Rescue?  Ya think?:

For many, Operation Rescue are words forever linked with the fanatical violence that left Tiller dead. Terry and Newman denounced the violence, but it’s far from clear how the slaying will affect their support.

“Denounced the violence” — sure; if by “denounced” you mean “screeched about mass murderers and hands drenched with the Blood of Teh Unborn”, followed by weasely denials of culpability.   But the bottom line is:

Religious conservatives don’t have the sway in Washington they once did. Many conservative pastors now believe the most effective way to reduce abortions is by limiting unwanted pregnancies in the first place. The country would be wise to continue shifting away from the tactics long deployed by Operation Rescue.

Using Terry’s “Stop Sotomayor!” campaign as an inverse barometer to predict the success of Sotomayor’s confirmation to SCOTUS, it looks like clear skies and smooth sailing ahead.

What goes around

Operation Terrorism wants a “comprehensive investigation“?

Give ‘em one.

Inside CPCs

RH Reality Check exposes so-called “Crisis Pregnancy Centers”, the anti-choice  “fake clinics” that park themselves near hospitals, doctors’ offices and Planned Parenthood clinics in the hope of ambushing women and talking them out of aborting.  It’s all there… the disinformation and outright falsehoods they disseminate, not to mention the religious proselytizing — on the taxpayers’ dime, no less — all to stop women from exercising their right to abortion.  Especially disgusting is the segment about the young woman who was pregnant, but was told by a CPC that she wasn’t pregnant — probably so she’d hold off until, by state law, it was too late for an elective abortion.  These people are scum.

6000 years

Arizona State Senator Sylvia Allen (R – of course) argues for uranium mining  because the world’s managed to survive without any environmental protection laws for the 6000 years that it’s been around…  Seriously, how does someone this ignorant get elected to public office?  Behold the migraine-inducing dumbfuckitude:

Harper, pick up your messages

There’s a Cracker Disposal Expert who wants to help you out with your problem.

Huh?

If I were to hazard a guess, I’d say this “Republicans for Ignatieff” thing

…is probably a riff off this.  But who knows?  Anyone?

UPDATE: Whois:

“Nearly free speech” is just a web host by the looks of it.  Florida?

UPDATE II: It has to be the latest “idea” from the CPC Brain(less) Trust.

and the links go to articles about Harper “standing up” to the US.  Riiiiiight.

UPDATE III: Kady got there first.  Sharp-eyed commenter Torontonian noticed they had “June” instead of “July” as the date of their upcoming important announcement, but they’ve fixed it so they obviously read ITQ.

(h/t mouthyorange by email)

Bill-O: A sad day

Too funny:  commenting on Al Franken finally becoming a senator, Bill O’Reilly hatefully accuses him of, among other things, “trafficking in hate”:

Oh, those hating haters and the people who hate them.

(from media matters)

Teabaggers got balls

Remember the Tax Day Tea(bagging) Parties?    Pretty much an epic fail in terms of the actual turnout versus the millions Fox News predicted, but a booming success in that it brought the word “teabagging” into the mainstream lexicon.  As conservatives admonished each other to  they provided a ton of comedy gold for Olbermann, Rachel Maddow and everyone else on this side of the political divide.

Teabaggers resented the mockery, so in anticipation of the July 4th tea parties, they were anxious to supplant the teabag image with something, anything, else.  To this end, conservative talk radio yakker Phil Valentine launched a campaign that was a different riff on the idea of sending teabags to members of Congress: instead,  Valentine asks his listeners to send balls to senators, in a campaign he calls “Give the Senate Some Balls”.  That’s right, balls.   And why not?  After being relentlessly ridiculed for “teabagging”, replacing that image with the concept of people sending senators their balls makes perfect sense.

Perfect sense if you’re a “moran”.

Random kitteh post

On the floor behind my desk, Kittehs are standing guard

Guard Kittehs, sleeping on the job

Maow.