In today’s shark-jumping news

How the once-proud National Post has fallen…

And to think the NatPo was once a fairly reasonable conservative publication.

Really!  It was!  I remember!

*Gasp*

Who ever would have expected THIS???

Somewhere in the archives of my other blog, I’m pretty sure I’ve got some estimates as to how long that little match made with a shotgun would last, and they were all in the 6 months-to-a-year range.  Right again.  

How the religious right sees

President Obama’s restoration of funding to Embryonic Stem Cell Research:

Go see the whole comic, too funny and too true.

(via pharyngula)

5 feet of SUZANNE

Shorter SUZANNE: Poor people!? They’re about as real as Bigfoot! Maybe. Also. And fetus in excelsis.

Those goddamn poor people, why don’t they all just commit suicide? Bastards.

Spend a little less time peering out your kitchen window, Mrs. Kravitz*, and maybe other peoples’ lives won’t irritate you so much.

And you might want to choose your “inspirations” for rants on this particular subject a little more judiciously — almost anyone would be better than someone who spends half her life begging for handouts.

*NB: Only readers *of a certain age* will get that reference — sorry kids! Get off my lawn!

Our little Pedgehog hits big time

Pedgehog, a Morgentaler clinic volunteer and author of the blog “Anti-Choice is Anti-Awesome“, was one of those interviewed for an article in the April issue of Chatelaine called “The New Face of the Abortion Debate“:

That same evening, a half-dozen women, all in their twenties, gather at a table a little removed from the other diners on a restaurant’s backyard patio. They are feminists, pro-choice activists in this predominantly conservative city. Many volunteer as patient escorts at the clinic; one of them, 25-year-old Peggy Cooke, is its volunteer coordinator. She is also the author of a spunky blog,
Anti-Choice Is Anti-Awesome, about life at the clinic and the antics of protesters she’s dubbed Glarey Mary, Crazy Legs and Mad Thad. “Intimidate women. That’s all they’re there to do,” she says.

There’s more about Pedge and others like her who toil tirelessly on the front lines, plus a whole bunch more about nationwide activism, abortion access, and even our old nemesis, Bill C-484. (The anti-choice side was also deemed worthy of a few column inches, proportionate to their influence in the real world.) Good article: go read, then go give the Pedge a virtual high-five.

Embryonic stem cell research: funding on again

As most have already heard by now, the good news is that yet another ass-backwards Bush policy has died a well-deserved death in favour of scientific advancement:

U.S. President Barack Obama has fulfilled a major campaign promise, officially reversing the Bush White House policy on embryonic stem cells and providing funding that will allow research into the breakthrough.

Scientists have discovered that embryonic stem cells can be used to mimic or repair almost anything in the body, because they have yet to be assigned a ‘purpose.’

It’s hoped they can be used to treat everything from spinal cord injuries to diseases like Parkinson’s and many suffering from those ailments have been praying for the research to at least begin to give them hope.

The Bush Administration cut government funding to embryonic stem cell research at the behest of religious right fruitloops who think the 5-day-old blastocysts used in the research — literal “clumps” of about 100 cells — are people, too. This is what the embryos look like, at 4 days gestation (the round ball on the right):

The little box up in the left corner shows the actual size. Can’t see it? Neither can I, neither can anyone else with normal vision. Yet some decry federal funding of embryonic stem cell research because they believe this miniscule clump of cells is as much (if not more) a person than you or I or a 9-year old girl. Because of that they insist that ESCR is fraught with ghastly “ethical and moral dilemmas”.

But there’s really nothing for them to worry about, because there’s actually a mind-numbingly simple solution to their problem: they can always forgo any ESCR-influenced treatments. I mean, to do otherwise would be hypocritical, wouldn’t it? Sounds like a win-win to me. As for the funding aspect of things, welcome to democracy, baby.

Flaming torches and pitchforks

Ya say ya want a revolution, wellll you know, we’d all love to see the plan.

First it was Teabagging Parties (which drew literally tens of people, tens of them!) now it’s a somewhat seditious plan to set off a new and improved American Revolution… Jebus, what a bunch of sore freaking losers. You can’t make this shit up:

The call by some right wing leaders for rebellion and for the military to refuse the commander in chief’s orders is joined by Chuck Norris who claims that thousands of right wing cell groups have organized and are ready for a second American Revolution. During an appearance on the Glen Beck radio show he promised that if things get any worse from his point of view he may “run for president of Texas.” The martial artist/actor/activist claims that Texas was never formally a part of the United States in the first place and that if rebellion is to come through secession Texas would lead the way.

Today in his syndicated column on WorldNetDaily Norris reiterates the point: “That need may be a reality sooner than we think. If not me, someone someday may again be running for president of the Lone Star state, if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state.”

Now imagine that had appeared on Michael Moore’s website, say, 4 years ago.   Can you even begin to imagine the furious outrage?  They were calling people traitors for even questioning the scurrilous and sinister Bush Administration, never mind calling for all-out rebellion and secession.

And Chuck Norris… Chuck Norris!??? Yet another cartoon character with an eye on the main chance (President of Texas?  BWAHAHAHA!) becomes the new face of American conservatism… looks good on them, too.

It’s becoming more apparent with each passing day and every bratty,  spittle-flecked tantrum these idiots throw that American conservatism is doomed to  become a parody of itself.  Hopefully their next move will be to hold their breath until they turn blue.   Wah!

Comments

Just wanted to let you guys know, I am trying something new here with the comments: “comment threading”.

While you’ll still be able to post a comment the old way, there’s now a little “reply” button in each comment which means you’ll also be able to reply directly to another commenter. This will come in handy with big threads like the “Rotten Shit-Eating Scum” thread.

Try it out when you get a chance and let me know what you think of it.

It’s an anomaly

I swear it is!  Really!

E-fucking-gads, they never stop embarrassing everyone, do they.  I think I’ll go vomit some more.

Calgary atheist bus gets the gears

The Calgary atheist bus campaign got rolling today, and some people are anything but pleased, pronouncing it an “Atheist FAIL”.  However, in the spirit of the occasion, they’ve generated a bus slogan of their own:

SEX!  You forgot SEX!!!    FAIL!!!

Washing machine

Yet another example of why nobody should listen to anything that celibate old men in gowns, ermine-trimmed capes and Prada slippers have to say about anything, let alone their brain-damaged jabberings about women’s emancipation:

In a long editorial marking International Women’s Day, L’Osservatore Romano, the mouthpiece of the Roman Catholic Church, said washing machines had freed generations of women from the drudgery of housework.

“The washing machine and the emancipation of women: put in the powder, close the lid and relax,” said the broadsheet’s headline, above a black and white picture of two women in the 1950s admiring a front-loading machine.

“In the 20th century, what contributed most to the emancipation of western women?” asked the editorial.

“The debate is still open. Some say it was the pill, others the liberalisation of abortion, or being able to work outside the home. Others go even further: the washing machine.”

Instead of “Put in the powder, close the lid and relax”, how about “Put in the church, close the lid and flush”?  MUCH more liberating.

Question

How is this

“The law of God is higher than any human laws,” Archbishop Jose Cardoso Sobrinho said in an interview on Globo television. “When a human law is against the law of God, that law has no value.”

any different than Sharia Law?

Just wondering.

UPDATE: Another propagator of Christian Sharia Law gets slapped.

(h/t VisionAries in the comments)

Flu

Look at this thing, it’s like some hideous horror out of a Naked Lunch nightmare:

That’s what I envisioned, a solid wall of them actually, when I saw what the runny-nosed customer was dropping on the counter in front of me yesterday: Advil, Nyquil, NeoCitran “Cold & Flu”, and box upon box of kleenex. I looked up suspiciously and took a reflexive step back — too late. He was already in the grip of a massive open-mouthed sigh (probably cursing whoever infected him), and the outgoing blast of toxic air was like slap in the face with a scum-laden brick. Hit! I was hit! Vainly trying to clear the air, I waved my arms around and gasped:

“Thanks, pal. I hope I don’t get whatever it is you’ve got.”

Predictably, in just a few short hours everything started to ache, and it wasn’t the kind of ache one gets from standing for 8 hours or splitting wood or sleeping weird or even running a half-marathon. It was an interior ache, the ache of an immune system fully engaged in a raging battle, or “fully involved” as they say in the firefighting business. I was finally overcome with an exhaustion so profound that I crashed at 8pm, and I knew I had

The Flu

Bastardo! The Carrier of Disease who laid this one on me has a lot to answer for. I realize people sometimes have to go out when they’re sick, but can they not at least cover up when they cough/sneeze/yawn/sigh? If I feel a sneeze coming on when I’m in public, I abruptly spin myself away from whoever’s nearby, duck and cover (my mouth) and do the deed (hopefully into a kleenex), then, kleenex or no kleenex, I wash my hands with soap and rub some sanitizer on them for good measure. This may be too byzantine a procedure for most people, but just covering up might be a good start. Ya think?

Bang! That’s it, that’s all, I have nothing else to say. So here’s a poem from one of my faves, Charles Bukowsi, called “Having the flu, and with nothing else to do”:

I read a book about John Dos Passos and according to
the book once radical-communist
John ended up in the Hollywood Hills living off investments
and reading the
Wall Street Journal

this seems to happen all too often.

what hardly ever happens is
a man going from being a young conservative to becoming an
old wild-ass radical

however:
young conservatives always seem to become old
conservatives.
it’s a kind of lifelong mental vapor-lock.

but when a young radical ends up an
old radical
the critics
and the conservatives
treat him as if he escaped from a mental
institution.

such is our politics and you can have it
all.

keep it.

sail it up your
ass.

I’m shocked, Sarah, shocked!

Oops!  Governor Sarah Palin is in Deepshit, Alaska, after her appointment of a judge who was formerly on the board of Planned Parenthood… and she (yes, she!) sounds like she might be a *cough* feminist!

Needless to say, the fundies are anything but pleased:

Gov. Sarah Palin on Wednesday picked an Anchorage judge to fill the latest vacancy on the Alaska Supreme Court despite efforts by a conservative Christian group to convince her to do otherwise.

Anchorage Superior Court Judge Morgan Christen, on the bench since 2002, will be just the second woman named to the high court in the 50 years since statehood.  [...]

The head of the Alaska Family Council — a Christian pro-family, anti-abortion group — on Wednesday sent an e-mail to thousands of people asking them to urge Palin to pick Smith, not Christen.

Too bad so sad, freaks.   Uh — what the hell is that shrieking noise?  Oh, it’s just the local wingnut paper:

In a move that should give social conservatives great pause, Governor Sarah Palin has appointed a former board member of Planned Parenthood to the Alaska State Supreme Court.

Palin appointed Anchorage Superior Court Judge Morgan Christen to the state’s highest court on Wednesday. Along with Christen’s former board member status with Planned Parenthood.

There is no disputing Palin’s appointment of Christen will cause the Alaska Supreme [I think they meant to say "Court" here, but were agitated beyond editing] to lean left and will ensure a more activist court when it comes to gay marriage, and abortion.

Stampede to the fainting couches!   Don’t forget to clutch those pearls!!

Mymymy, I must say I’m a little surprised that SaWah didn’t cave into her base, and by the sounds of it, her base is surprised too.  Cleaning up her act in anticipation of 2012 maybe?  Also.

Rotten shit-eating scum

I really have no other words for the catholic church after reading this:

A 9-year-old girl who was carrying twins, allegedly after being raped by her stepfather, underwent an abortion Wednesday despite complaints from Brazil’s Roman Catholic church.

Fatima Maia, director of the public university hospital where the abortion was performed, said the 15-week-old pregnancy posed a serious risk to the 80-pound girl.

“She is very small. Her uterus doesn’t have the ability to hold one, let alone two children,” Maia told the Jornal do Brasil newspaper.

But Marcio Miranda, a lawyer for the Archdiocese of Olinda and Recife in northeastern Brazil, said the girl should have carried the twins to term and had a cesarean section.

As hideous and loathsome as the church’s response is, it doesn’t come as a total surprise — enabling child abuse is all in a day’s work for these sanctimonious creeps.

UPDATE: Thought it couldn’t get any sicker? The BBC has a few more details, which I am too filled with blind red screaming rage to even comment on. Here:

Police believe that the girl at the centre of the case had been sexually abused by her step-father since she was six years old.

He is also suspected of abusing the girl’s physically handicapped older sister who is now 14.

The Catholic Church tried to intervene to prevent the abortion going ahead but the procedure was carried out on Wednesday.

Now a Church spokesman says all those involved, including the child’s mother and the doctors, are to be excommunicated.

GAHHH!!! UPDATE: Money quote:

Gomes Sobrinho, who belongs to the most conservative sector within the Brazilian Roman Catholic Church, said those who have been excommunicated will not be allowed to take communion or to receive other sacraments, although they may yet avoid going to hell.

Drink. I need a drink.

“Un-fucking-believable” Update: Speaks for itself:

Nothing about the little girl.

Calling these people “rotten shit-eating scum” is an insult to all rotten shit-eating scum.

FRIDAY PSA-itude: Right here.

What did he expect?

“Frat Boy, putz, A-hole”: On his show Tuesday night, Hate Radio screamer  (literally) Mark Levin had strong words to describe fellow conservative David Frum.  The source of Levin’s irritation was, what else, Frum’s recent article about the folly of allowing Rush Limbaugh to be identified as the Face of the GOP:

On Tuesday evening, the radio host Mark Levin opened his show with an angry shouted 10-minute monologue in which he called me (among other choice terms)  a “putz,” an “a-hole,”a “frat boy,” “irrelevant,” and – ouch! – “this Canadian.”

Well, yeah.   Did Frum really think his article’s qualifier that Rush was deserving of respect (!??) would be enough tugging and stroking to satisfy the slavering dittoheads?   No, nothing short of donning a leather jumpsuit and ballgag and publicly submitting to every kind of unspeakable depravity will redeem a conservative who’s made the mistake of questioning Dear Leader.  Back into the dungeon with you, Gimp… El-Rushbo will call you when he needs you.

Frum even called Levin’s show the next day to try to reason with him, of course to no avail since Levin is certifiably batshit insane.   But it wasn’t all for naught, resulting in a sad moment of clarity:

As I hung up, I wondered what it would be like to be a new listener, a nonpolitical person, tuning in to Mark Levin’s show for the first time. The ferocious hatred and anger – the shouting at people not present to reply, the self-pitying complaints against a world that does not pay enough respect: it’s an ugly performance. Has Levin ever convinced any listener of anything that listener did not already believe? And of those who come to the show uncertain of what they believe – mustn’t the vast majority come away from these rage-filled narcissistic tirades thinking, “If that’s conservatism, I want no part of it”?

Bingo.   If you want to know why Obama is in the White House right now, look no further than the hate radio idiots, who along with the religious right have enormously marginalized conservatism.   More power to them:  let them continue to drive moderates away until the GOP is a pile of stenchy, fuming embers burning its way into ashy obscurity.

I, Robot

I find it intriguing that it’s always fundies whose feverish imaginations are the source of so many perversely twisted marital possibilities:

More than 1,000 people, many from Baptist churches across the state, stood on the ice-covered lawn outside the Legislative Building on Tuesday to demand that state legislators give them a chance to vote on a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. [...]

Two well-known conservative Christian commentators who spoke at the rally described a breakdown of society should gay couples be allowed to marry — including a rise in single-parent households and in the number of dependents wanting Social Security and health insurance benefits.

David Gibbs III, a lawyer who in 2005 fought to keep brain-damaged Terri Schiavo on life support, told rally participants gay marriage would “open the door to unusual marriage in North Carolina.

“Why not polygamy, or three or four spouses?” Gibbs asked. “Maybe people will want to marry their pets or robots.”

Their robots??   TILT!  TILT! This does not compute!!!

Anyway, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

Rush challenges Obama to a duel

Okay, not a duel with swords or guns’n stuff, but a battle of wits and words:

Rush Limbaugh, apparently taking to heart the Obama administration’s description of him as the leader of the Republican Party, has invited President Obama to come on his radio show for a debate.

The edgy, bombastic conservative, describing himself as a “harmless, lovable little fuzzball” and “the Last Man Standing,” wrapped the invitation in a long series of jibes at Obama, his policies, his party, his aides, his speaking style and the entertaining he’s done during his six weeks at the White House.

“You are one of the most gifted public speakers of our age. I would think, Mr. President, you would jump at this opportunity,” Limbaugh said on his show, which has millions of listeners on more than 600 radio stations.

Rush of course is well aware that President Obama has one or two other slightly more pressing issues on his plate at the moment… the collapsing economy alone is like a financial 9/11. But never mind that, Rush wants attention: Wah! Wah! Look at me!! he shrieks furiously from his crib at the EIB Network.

Either Rush isn’t worried about Obama accepting his challenge, or all the ass-kissing he’s been getting lately has blown his ego up to monstrous proportions and he’s having delusions of grandeur even more extreme than usual. Bill O’Reilly, who’s just as aggressive but a tad more intelligent and well-informed than Limbaugh, was unable to make Obama lose his cool during their interview a few months ago. Limbaugh would be 400 pounds of greasy ground pork after a debate with Obama.

Although it would be theatre of the absurd, such a debate would certainly cement the perception of Limbaugh as the defacto head of the GOP. But then, that one’s probably already been checked off on the White House Wish List anyway.

UPDATE: Via Chet, here’s a video of Jon Stewart raking both Rush and Bill-O over the coals (“cement” and “defacto” seem to be popular words associated with Rush these days).

Atheist bus in gear in T.O., stuck in neutral in Calgary

Was it simple human failure to meet a production deadline? Or

divine intervention?

The Atheist Bus campaign kicked off this week in Toronto, but Calgary’s start date has been moved forward about a week — the signs aren’t ready yet:

The Free Thought Association of Canada was hoping to place ads on Calgary buses with a goal of promoting dialogue between people of faith and non-faith, but the signs aren’t ready yet.

A spokesman for the group is hoping the delay will only be about a week. A similar campaign has already kicked off in Toronto.

Justin Trottier of the Freethought Association, who sponsor the atheist ads, appeared on Canada A.M. yesterday to discuss the campaign. Also guesting was Calgary Imam Syed Sohawardy, who spoke about the Muslim community’s planned response to the atheist ads. They haven’t come up with a slogan yet, but here’s one that might serve both sides of the equation. A little lame, you say? How about this? (Nobody can say I’m not an Equal Opportunity mocker of religious extremism.) And speaking of religious extremism, let’s give the Christianists the last word…

Hiiiiiighway to HELL, we’re on a Hiiiiighway to Hell… HAHAHAHAHAHA!

(cartoon swiped from SUZANNE)

Post of the day

There’s a post up at Balloon Juice that’s about the best I’ve read so far with regard to the GOP’s virulent viciousness, an illness that, by all appearances, they seem to own exclusively.  Go read.

Over 7 years in

… and Harper says we can’t win the war in Afghanistan.

Contrary to what some might like to believe, I take no pleasure in my agreement with Harper’s dire pronouncement about the war. The son of one of my friends is over there and every time I read another “Roadside bomb kills (x number of) Canadians” headline, I feel sick. I can’t even begin to imagine how my friend feels. Let alone the families of these brave young people.

My heartfelt condolences to their loved ones. Hopefully our government will see fit to prevent too many more from being lost for a cause that even they admit we can’t win.

GOP to Steele: “STFU or be canned!”

As if it were needed, here’s even more proof that the GOP is Rush Limbaugh’s bitch:

Apology to Rush Limbaugh aside, new Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele is coming under fire from his own GOP troops to shut up and focus on his job of organizing the party and raising money, not fighting with his own political kind. Several Republican advisers to Congress and the previous Bush administration told Whispers that they are worried that the war of words is fracturing the party when it should be healing the division between conservatives and moderates in the wake of the 2008 election.

“What is amazing is that Steele was elected because of his communications skills, and it is those skills that are damaging the Republican Party. Before people begin to completely judge him as worthless, Steele needs to focus and knuckle down on building a strong foundation at RNC so we can begin rebuilding our majority,” says a top GOP strategist who has worked for House and Senate Republican leaders. “If his implosion continues, RNC members are likely to call a special session to dump him for an effective chairman. There is not much patience for failure.”

Oh, ah, ahahahaHAHAHAHA! Remember, all Steele did was make a fairly rational offhand comment about the content of Limburger’s radio show — “incendiary and ugly“, wasn’t it? Then he apologizes to the fat fuck, no less, and that’s an implosion?

Something’s imploding alright, but it ain’t Steele.

HAHAHAHAHA! Damage control.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Hyperbole, as she’s done

Raphalex, in full supercilious flight:

Groan. Always with “Teh Left”. And “moral bankruptcy”?? I don’t know about “moral bankruptcy”, but I sense a significant cerebral deficit in that title.

And one other point of interest, if you please: why is it “moral bankruptcy” in the National Post, and “schadenfreude” at RA’s blog? The terms aren’t even close to having the same meaning.

Maybe the title was dumbed down for the NatPo’s wingnut readers, many of whom probably don’t know what “schadenfreude” means (despite so often being its subject).

Too late, Dave

David Frum desperately tries to make the case to Republicans that the likes of Rush Limbaugh are bad for their party:

And for the leader of the Republicans? A man who is aggressive and bombastic, cutting and sarcastic, who dismisses the concerned citizens in network news focus groups as “losers.” With his private plane and his cigars, his history of drug dependency and his personal bulk, not to mention his tangled marital history, Rush is a walking stereotype of self-indulgence – exactly the image that Barack Obama most wants to affix to our philosophy and our party. And we’re cooperating! Those images of crowds of CPACers cheering Rush’s every rancorous word – we’ll be seeing them rebroadcast for a long time.

Rush knows what he is doing. The worse conservatives do, the more important Rush becomes as leader of the ardent remnant. The better conservatives succeed, the more we become a broad national governing coalition, the more Rush will be sidelined.

Frum seems to be one of an ever-dwindling number of conservatives who recognize Rush for the egocentric, opportunistic douchebag that he is, and understand how poisonous the “Rush Brand” is to the GOP. But here’s how powerful that porcine gasbag really is — even after all that, Frum can’t resist a gratuitous little jerk at El-Rushbo’s shriveled member:

He plays an important role in our coalition, and of course he and his supporters have to be treated with respect.

Why, David? Rush and his supporters have no respect for “Beltway elitists” like you. Just one of a few comments with a similar tone:

HAHAHAHAHA! Fucked! They’re so fucked.

Popcorn, I need popcorn!

A nice big bowl, lightly buttered and easy on the salt, pass it over here, please:

On the same night he was offering the keynote address to the Conservative Political Action Conference, Rush Limbaugh drew criticism from an unlikely source: Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele.

In a little-noticed interview Saturday night, Steele dismissed Limbaugh as an “entertainer” whose show is “incendiary” and “ugly.”

Steele’s criticism makes him the highest-ranking Republican to pick a fight with the popular and polarizing conservative talk show host.

But the new RNC chairman’s extraordinary comments won’t sit well with the millions of conservative listeners Limbaugh draws each week, and Steele aides scrambled to limit the damage Monday morning by trying to change the subject.

Civil war, coming soon to a Grand Old Party near you.

UPDATE: Steele rolls over and pees himself.  (h/t audrey II in the comments)