Wow, this is old but I missed it and is it ever exciting!
I keed. Not exciting, but pretty freaking funny.
In the great “Facts Optional” tradition of Conservapedia and the Conservative Bible Project, stand back: there’s a Conservative Christian alternative to Twitter!
A few weeks ago, a Christian Twitter user (Christweep?) was hit with a one-week suspension from Twitter for spamming. The user, James L Paris, immediately upshifted into Persecution Complex mode and claimed he was suspended for supporting Rush Limbaugh. Paris harrumphed:
I guess I am making some liberal at Twitter upset.
and fretted:
These are the kinds of things that we as Christians and Conservatives can only expect to happen more and more often.
Of course: it’s all about anti-Christian bigotry and the Silencing of Christians, not the fact that in trying to promote his “Christian Money” site, Paris made such gratuitous use of the “@” key (replying to all and sundry with the Good News about Christian Money) that Twitter thought he was a spammer.
But Paris was determined to fight back against Twitter’s liberal bias, so in early November he launched ChristianChirp, the Christian Alternative to Twitter:
“It was not just the suspension for sharing my conservative views, but I was also receiving a number of very inappropriate messages to a computer that I share with my children”, said Paris. “I decided that enough was enough and that I needed to be a part of the solution, so I started a Christian alternative.” According to Paris, his version of Twitter will not allow any profanity, vulgar language, or adult content. “We are very serious about keeping this a safe Christian space”, said Paris on Monday.
It’s funny: by setting up these alternative information sites and social networking platforms, fundies contribute to their own isolation far more than any malevolent liberal anti-Christian forces they might imagine. Yet that doesn’t stop them from bitching about how they’re being “silenced” and driven from mainstream political dialogue.
And one last point of interest: if this guy thinks Twitter has a liberal bias, he’s never seen #tcot (“top conservatives on twitter), a Twitterstream of such cataclysmic brain damage that reading more than 2 tweets at a time is a mental health hazard.
UPDATE: Apparently the tweets that got Paris in hot H20 with Twitter were not business related but Limbaugh-oriented, and lots of ‘em. (via)
(h/t the Mad Voter on Twitter)
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Yes! Christians and Catholics have the answers!
Just so long as no one ever asks them any questions.
Or disproves their god.
Or does anything other than completely agree.
Or be anything but white. Or male. Or straight.
Or think for themselves.
Run, bitches, run.
It’s all for the best. That way they can keep their pyramid schemes to themselves.
Typical of evangelicals to separate themselves out of society and put the rest of us into the “others” camp.
It’s always been a case of us and them. Why are there
Catholic schools on its own tax base? Why do they also
have their own cemeteries?
The evangelicals like to separate themselves out to show
how special they are by their anointed and righteous nature.
Unfortunately, that sort of works for the likes of monastic
orders or convents. These groups of the righteous suffer when the likes of Charles McVety, Frank Dimant or David Mainse or
Michael Coren join their ranks.
The best way to change a society is from within–not
from without.
The more one retreats from mainstream life, the more
misunderstood one becomes. Just like that reclusive
old woman down the street with a dozen cats.
“According to Paris, his version of Twitter will not allow any profanity, vulgar language, or adult content.”
In other words, boring.
antisocial
Christians AND Catholics?
That’s right, I forgot — fundies consider Catholics to be heretics. I wonder if they are allowed to use ChristianChirp?
brebis – That’s the funniest part of all, that he was suspended for spamming people with tweets about his business. “Christian Money” — didn’t Jesus throw some of these guys out of church? Maybe it was Jesus who got him suspended from Twitter
Torontonian – No, they’ve never been too crazy about the idea of mixing with the rest of us lowlifes.
But they continue to complain because they don’t want *their own* thing, they want everyone’s thing to be like *their* thing.
Shade –
Really, can you imagine? I don’t think there’s that much swearing on Twitter anyway, but even if there was, so what? If someone’s expressing themselves in a way this guy doesn’t like, he can block them.
But that wouldn’t be special enough. (And I also think this is a business opportunity for him.)
JJ: Yes! Christians and Catholics have the answers!
Christians AND Catholics? That’s right, I forgot — fundies consider Catholics to be heretics. I wonder if they are allowed to use ChristianChirp?
Wonder if SUZY ALLCAPSLOCK would be allowed to be a member, given she is one them Catholic heretics?
JJ – Well I use bloody hell and damn one some of my twitterings, thought I haven’t twitted recently. Bet I’d get banned off that Chirp sight for inappropriate chirping within five minutes. Not to mention if I repeated my tweet about being annoyed at people wanting intelligent design taught as a science.
I once saw TCOT and have been so damaged since that I’ve never been able to go back. The horrors! The horrors!
CK – ALLCAPS might not be allowed, fundies don’t like mackeral-snappers.
shade
That would get you a lifetime suspension… or at least, lifetime until the Rapture.
As someone whose livelihood involves good UI design, especially for t3h Internets, I can personally attest that ChristofascistTwerp…er, excuse me, ChristianChirp is a real piece of shit.
Bleatmop – No kidding! Concentrated Stupid! Or at least 99 and 99/100ths percent pure stupid. Auugggghhhh
JAB –
The first thing I noticed about it was that half the tweets are complaining about things that don’t work 
Heh. If it’s that bad, then I seriously doubt it would work with all the Twitter helper apps like Echofon, TweetDeck, TwitterBerry, etc.
Good morrow, all!
Considering the results, I wonder why the right wingnuts call it “Intelligent Design”…
Just sayin’…
Yr hmbl svnt – CTZen
Well if you think about it, it must take someone really smart to make something so ostentatiously stupid.
Intelligence is easy, you just listen, read and filter out the crap. But pure stupidity that is something that baffles the mind.
The poor misunderstood little devils are forced to go underground so they can talk among their own kind. Now, I wonder how that seems strangely familiar to me as a gay man?
We must have taught them well, I would like to take their imitation as a form of flattery, but they don’t get any points for originality.
Ah gee, Christian Chirp? I was kind of partial to the idea of calling it “Chritter”.
I was hoping the Chirpers would acknowledge their Twitter roots and call their output Twirps.
JAB – I highly doubt if it would work with anything like Tweetdeck. From what I read of their tweets, they can’t even get their direct messaging to work.
Bruce
No kidding… some of these dudes are so deep in the closet they need to wear miners’ hats with headlights to find their way around.
FF – “Chritter”, not bad!
RB
That’s fitting!
Frankly, I don’t think this thing is going over very well. It’s supposed to be for conservative Christians, but Twitter is still infested with them.
Well the idea is ridiculous. I don’t know much about Twitter, but it seems to me to be a way for people to communicate with other like-minded people. There’s nothing to prevent its full use by Konservative Kristians. This guy’s a spammer, and no one likes spammers.
Ouch. That’s weapons-grade programming incompetence!
Good morrow, all!
A slightly rewritten parable:
Three men went to church. Two of them sat pointedly up front. One of them sat in the last row.
The first man was a renowned religious leader. He looked up and said, “Thank you, Jesus, for making me better than anyone I know, especially that loser in the back row. You know that I tithe, I fast and I pray every day. I know you will favor me in Heaven. Thank you for making me worthy of my reward in Heaven.”
The second was a well-regarded conservative journalist. He looked up and said, “Thank you, Jesus, for making me a successful and influential scribe. People read my work and listen to my broadcasts and know that You are the only way to Heaven. Thank you for making me Your voice on Earth.”
The third man owned a bar. He did not look up. He simply said, “Take it easy on me, Jesus. I know I hit my kids, and I yell at my wife, and I drink too much, and business isn’t all that good. I don’t mean to be a bad guy. I need help. I don’t even know why I came here…”
God heard all three of these men. Which one, do you suppose, He listened to?
For Jasper – CTZen
RB – It’s dumb. The idea of social networking platforms like Twitter is to enable more communication, not less — if someone’s only interested in one topic, all they have to do is search that topic’s hashtag and they can look at its twitterstream.
Of course you’re subjected to the odd dissenting opinion (ie., I tag my tweets about abortion rights with #prochoice and #prolife) but geez
Ignore? Ya think?
JAB – You should offer your services as a webmaster, for the low low price of, I don’t know, $500/hour?
Maybe I should.
i heard Sarah Palin is fed up with liberals parsing her grammar and belittling her attempts at rational thought on Twitter and is going to start her own instant messaging networker. It’s called “Quitter”….
What I don’t understand is, on Twitter don’t you “follow” people you’re interested in?
How would you ever read something from someone you don’t want to hear from?
Only way is to delibrately track them down or stumble on them accidently and even then you can just pretend they don’t exist and be on your way. You never have to interact with anyone you don’t want to.
So how did he “spam”?
Would it be replies to people who left comments on his page? If someone made a comment and he sent them a link to something he said on that subject is that really spam?
And if it is spam, why did someone post a list of all the people he spammed to, allowing other people to harvest those names?
I just learned that chirps is British slang for flirting.
It’s an irregular verb in that it retains the “s” for 1st and 2nd person, not just 3rd.
I chirps, you chirps, we chirps.