The loathsome hypocrisy of Dick Cheney

As predictably as a morning dump, the completely irrelevant ex-VP took the opportunity of the undiebomber attack to do a little mouthing off about what he characterized as Obama’s “low-key” approach to terrorism.  Obama doesn’t know we’re at war!  Obama doesn’t want to keep us safe! What a king-hell douche:

“He seems to think if he closes Guantanamo and releases the hard-core Al Qaeda-trained terrorists still there, we won’t be at war,’’ Cheney continued. “He seems to think if he gets rid of the words, ‘war on terror,’ we won’t be at war. But we are at war and when President Obama pretends we aren’t, it makes us less safe.’’

In response to the doddering old chest-thumping fool whose massive shitpiles they’ve been mopping up for the better part of a year, the White House snarled back:

To put it simply: this President is not interested in bellicose rhetoric, he is focused on action. Seven years of bellicose rhetoric failed to reduce the threat from al Qaeda and succeeded in dividing this country. And it seems strangely off-key now, at a time when our country is under attack, for the architect of those policies to be attacking the President.

Yes, it is strangely off-key, especially when Cheney himself brooked absolutely no dissent when in office.   And anyone who didn’t like it would quickly find their reputations and careers in smoking ruins as they were branded treasonous, America-hating terrorist supporters.

Even more ironically, Cheney’s latest barrage of verbal diarrhea was deployed just as  investigators confirmed that one of the Al Qaeda creeps who helped set up the failed Christmas Day attack was a former Gitmo inmate that the Bush administration saw fit to release in 2007.  For reasons known only to themselves and their Saudi overlords, Bush and Cheney thought it would be a good idea if this “hard-core, Al Qaeda-trained terrorist” was sent back to Saudi Arabia — for “art therapy“, no less — and then quickly released back into the wild to re-join Al Qaeda and eventually connect with the dumbass kid we now know as the Undiebomber.

Heckofajob, Dickie!  Now STFU and go take a nap.

UPDATE: Courtesy of Red Tory, here’s a clip from last night’s Rachel Maddow  Show, in which she utterly decimates the old fart Cheney and the rest of the phony fearmongers of the GOP:

Toronto airports soon to undress you with their eyes

An incompetent would-be terrorist sets his bag aflame and we’re rushing to install invasive Orwellian security technology?  Get. A. Grip!:

Transport Canada is actively examining ways to implement full-body scanners at airports, a spokesperson said Wednesday.

“We are working with CATSA (the Canadian Air Transport Security Authority) to implement various screening techniques and millimetre-wave technology is one of them,” said Maryse Durett.

Two airports involved in the failed Christmas Day attempt to blow up Northwest Airlines Flight 253 announced Wednesday they are rushing to get full-body scanners working. [...]

“We’re interested in all technology that would help,” said Scott Armstrong, spokesperson for the Greater Toronto Airports Authority. “Full-body scanners are part of that.“

The image below is from a scanner already in use at Manchester Airport in the UK:

The terrorists must be laughing their asses off watching us as we compliantly allow our governments to subject us to all manner of intrusion and humiliation in the name of “keeping us safe” from Al Qaeda’s best and brightest — 23-year-0ld loser Underwear Bombers.

Just in time for New Years

A timely and newsworthy party snack:   Toasted Al Qaeda Undies™!

Yummeeeeeee!

(via andrew sullivan)

Going prorogue

*Groan*

Next up:  Harper communicates his Deep Thoughts to the rest of Canada via weekly dispatches on his Facebook page.

Come on Steve, Christmas is over.  We eagerly await your next note.  Or at least a tweet.

Studies show…

… that ten out of ten of Islamic terrorists are Muslims!

Well fuckin’ DUH, Brainiac!

Hey laydeez…

…he’s available.

Ew. Ew. Ew. EwewewewewewewewwwwwwwEW!

Batshit level red

The threat is grave and growing:

In a blog post on her website titled “It might be time now,” birther queen Orly Taitz seemed to suggest today a call to arms against President Obama.

“What is the real intention of this Kenyan, Indonesian communist usurper? Is it to provide security for us or to destroy our security? Judge for yourself. Seeing targeted destruction of our economy, our security, dissipation of American jobs, massive corruption in the Government, Congress Department of Justice and Judiciary, it might be time to start rallies and protests using our second amendment right to bare arms and organise in militias.”

Throw off those long-sleeved shirts, it’s a call to bare arms.

Nomination formally accepted

Werner has officially accepted his nomination in the Craziest Canadian Bloggers of 2009 contest, Conservative category.   Best of luck, Werner — you’ve got stiff competition, so to speak.

Friendly Reminder: there are two(2) categories, conservative and liberal (and possibly three(3) if we can round up enough non-partisan nutbars).  That means there will be two(2) Winners, Craziest conservative and Craziest liberal.  There won’t be an overall Craziest blogger — apples to apples, etc.

When making a nomination, it helps to provide a link to evidence of craziness — while it should be something notably crazy, it should also be in keeping with the blogger’s general tone, not a momentary lapse in their normally rational demeanour.  (Also, resist the urge to nominate someone just because you don’t like them… unless the person really is crazy.)

Once all the nominations are in, sometime in the next few whatevers, nominees will be judged by an independent panel who will select the top 3 craziest in each category, which will then be put to a vote.

So keep those nominations coming, and may the craziest wingnut and moonbat win.

This must be the work of malicious cat owners

I think if we were to run a check on the backgrounds of all the members of Sechelt city council, we’d find it unfairly stacked with cat lovers.  I can’t think of any other reason for this draconian bylaw that would criminalize dogs who chase squirrels, rats and seagulls:

Sechelt dogs that “without provocation” chase any animal — be it a rat, squirrel, seagull, bear or cougar — would violate a dog licensing and control amendment bylaw that passed three readings at the Dec. 16 council meeting.

The first draft of the bylaw, prepared by District of Sechelt staff, would only have stopped dogs from chasing, biting or attacking domesticated animals. But at committee of the whole Dec. 9, Coun. Keith Thirkell suggested expanding the bylaw to include wild animals and birds as well. Thirkell argued that this would bring it in line with provincial and federal legislation that protects various wild animals, including migratory birds and endangered species.

What’s “provocation”?  A dog doesn’t need much provocation to start chasing something — motion of any kind usually does the trick, never mind the spastic little darts and twitches that characterize a rodent on the move.  Expecting a dog to hold back under such circumstances is tantamount to animal cruelty.   I mean, really… dogs gotta chase.

Al Qaeda takes credit

It’s official:  the failed bombing of Flight 253 on Christmas Day was an Al Qaeda Terrorist Attack.   As everyone knows by now, I refer to the jangled little event that saw a would-be terrorist turn his crotch into a Banana Flambe trying to detonate an explosive device on board a Detroit-bound plane.  Although the bomb didn’t go off, the event is clearly a pivotal moment of some import:  it already has a Wiki page.  And now “Al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula” has taken credit for the effort:

Al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula has claimed responsibility for the attempted Christmas bombing of a U.S.-bound airliner that resulted in the arrest of 23-year-old Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab.

According to law enforcement officials, Abdulmutallab smuggled a small bag holding a potentially deadly concoction of liquid and powder – identified as the chemical compound PETN – on board Northwest Flight 253.

Jihadist websites are festooned today with the would-be bomber’s grinning visage and some enthusiastic “You go, girl!” words of congratulation for breaking through America’s supposedly impenetrable post-9/11 security firewall.

After all these years of taking off shoes and standing in interminably long lineups, I have to wonder how some kid with no passport, a one-way ticket (paid for in cash) and a warning filed with the US Embassy in Nigeria by his own father even managed to enter the airport, let alone break through any security firewalls.  So while it seems odd for Al Qaeda, given the deadly precision of their past operations, to claim ownership of a bungled attack, on the other hand…

On the other hand, maybe it wasn’t such a failure.  Consider the level of fear and paranoia that it’s cranked up:  media going berserk, politicians jabbering like chickens on crack and new airline security measures already in place with more undoubtedly to come.  Pretty soon passengers will have to be stark naked, handcuffed to their seats  and completely immobile except for shallow breathing for the duration of their flights (and that’s after a cavity search conducted with great gusto by brutish security thugs with cattle prods).  Indeed, no humiliation is too hideous if it means being Safe.  Even if it really means nothing.

That’s fear, and whether the bomb went off or not, it’s Mission Accomplished for the terrorists.

National Insecurity

Balb discovers that someone has Finally come up with a Solution to the Muslim Problem.

Drop the wea–err, weiners

Some people will do anything for a little excitement. Here’s a guy who wired up a bunch of sausages to make them look like sticks of dynamite and strapped them around his waist, strolled into a restaurant, demanded the day’s take, and held the police off for an hour… until the arrival of the bomb squad, who exploded into laughter:

Singe He threatened to blow up a restaurant and its patrons unless they handed over the day’s takings.

But when a specialist bomb unit arrived, they realised the bangers were actually sausages. ‘When we saw what he had round his waist, we couldn’t help laughing.

‘Some of the sausages still had the wrappers on them,’ said one bomb squad officer in the city of Benxi, northern China. [...]

The bomber told police he’d planned the raid because he was depressed after breaking up with his girlfriend.

‘I needed some excitement in my life, and to that extent it was a success,’ he commented.

The bomb squad will never let those cops live this down.

Well, whew.

Remember the worried teabagger who called into CSpan last week to ask if his imprecatory prayers against Senator Byrd had backfired and killed Senator Inhofe instead?

Well, a couple of other video clips have surfaced featuring a caller who sounds very similar to the prayerful ‘bagger, so it looks like the call might have been a prank.  If so, this guy is pretty good.

Cat action vid

BOOM! Enjoy.

(swiped from pandagon)

And after the Feats of Strength and the Airing of Grievances

…comes the Pushing of Popes:

A shaken Pope Benedict has celebrated Christmas Eve Mass in St Peter’s Basilica shortly after being knocked over by a female spectator.

The woman, said to be mentally unstable, managed to grab him by his vestments near the neck as a security guard tried to overwhelm her.

The Vatican said she had also tried to jump at the Pope last year.

The woman apparently managed to do a little damage  — one of the cardinals fell and broke his hip, which is fairly serious business for anyone, but especially someone with 87 years under his belt.  The Vatican has Socialized Health Care, and you know what that means.

EXTRA: CNN seems to have caught right on to the spirit of this new seasonal tradition:

(via Wonkette)

Too far

O’Reilly and Company must have had a field day shrieking about this one, and for a change I can’t say I blame them:

It was the week before Christmas when Irv Sutley, a former warehouse worker, first saw the offending ornament in a government building in Sonoma County, just north of here.

“I was turning around in the lobby, and I noticed the tree,” Mr. Sutley said. “And then, I noticed the angel.”

Mr. Sutley, an atheist, said he then went to the office of the county Board of Supervisors. “And there was a star,” he said.  [...]

“For most people, a star atop a tree at this time of season represents the star of Bethlehem, which is a cult symbol, the cult being Christianity,” he said, adding that the government should be neutral on religion.

Sonoma County officials conferred with their lawyers, and on Monday the acting county administrator, Chris Thomas, asked county departments to remove stars, angels or any other religious symbols “so that we can celebrate the season yet not appear to endorse Christian or other religious doctrines.”

Mr. Thomas cited a 1989 Supreme Court decision, Allegheny v. A.C.L.U., which stated that while Christmas trees could be seen as secular, they could also be seen as religious if decorated with religious symbols.

I’m an atheist too, and I totally agree that the government should be neutral on religion, but come on — I have a Christmas tree myself.  And seriously,  bitching about angels and stars on Christmas trees (which are a Pagan tradition anyway) is entering the realm of the terminally duhhhmb.  I’d suggest Mr. Sutley  focus his energy on genuinely offensive religious intrusions like creationism in science classes and elected representatives who feel compelled to get legislation pre-approved by Catholic Bishops.

UPDATE: The angels and stars rise again.

Happy Festivus

And with that, it is now time for the Airing of Grievances.

You first.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide To Murder

(via Andrew Sullivan)

Obama’s gay commie balls enrage right-wingnuts

It’s simple math… take one White House Christmas tree, add:

One decoration with an image of drag performer Hedda Lettuce

+ one decoration with a repro of an old Warhol print

+ one decoration with Obama’s image superimposed on Mt.Rushmore

=

This is what wingnuts are peaking and freaking about today.  The un-decorated decorations — 800 of them — are sent to community centers and schools for embellishment, then hung on the First Tree when they come back all decoupaged up.  So three(3) out of 800 don’t get the Wingnut Seal of Approval:  whoop de doo!  Talk about having too much time on your hands.

(via Gawker)

Keep those cards and letters coming

The Craziest Canadian Blogger contest is still taking nominations.  So far we have eight(8) nominees, but they are all right-wingers –  what’s up with that?  Entries from all sides of the blogosphere are welcome and encouraged.

There will be three(3) categories — Craziest Right-Wingnut, Looniest Left-Moonbat and Nuttiest Non-Partisan (if there are any such entries), and there will be a winner in all three(3) categories.

The nomination criteria include:

Commitment to self-contradiction (must be demonstrated by example); demonstrated preference for ideology vs. reality (examples, please); acknowledgment of psychotropic medication a definite advantage; extra points for periodic outbursts of uncontrollable verbal rage: tendency to argue on the basis of a sudden revelation vouchsafed only to the blogger; periodic absences while in treatment or recovery; insistence on secret, integrated global conspiracy of Bad Guys.

…and other forms of bad craziness as assessed by you, the nominator.

Bring on the Crazy, come on, bring it.

Teabagger worried imprecatory prayer backfired

On the weekend, GOP Senator Tom Coburn famously advised those against health care reform to pray that one of the Democrats wouldn’t be able to make the vote on Sunday night.  This was widely interpreted as a call for imprecatory prayer against elderly Senator Robert Byrd (D-WV), but Byrd showed up alive and well, and the senate bill passed.

But a teabagger watching C-Span yesterday noticed that Republican Jim Inhofe was missing and was worried that his prayers had whacked the wrong person:

“Our small tea bag group here in Waycross, we got our vigil together and took Dr. Coburn’s instructions and prayed real hard that Sen. Byrd would either die or couldn’t show up at the vote the other night,” the caller said.

“How hard did you pray because I see one of our members was missing this morning. Did it backfire on us? One of our members died? How hard did you pray senator? Did you pray hard enough?” he continued, his voice breaking.

Who would Jesus imprecatorily pray for?

Like coffee?

…you’ve got nothing on this guy:

A 52-year-old man complained only about the cold weather before walking into a diner with a five-inch knife sticking out of his chest. The unnamed man called a Warren 911 operator on Sunday night to ask that an ambulance be sent to Bray’s, an eatery in neighboring Hazel Park. He said he had been stabbed during a robbery attempt half a mile away, then walked to the restaurant and called 911 from a pay phone.

On a recording of the call, the man gives a vague description of his attacker before saying, ”I’m gonna sit down at Bray’s ’cause they got a chair and it’s cold out here.”

Restaurant employee George Mirdita told The Detroit News the man calmly ordered coffee.

Police said Tuesday that the man is recovering.

After he recovers from the knife wound, maybe he can work on that caffeine addiction.

Back by popular demand…

… DEATH PANELS!!!:

How can she use this idiotic expression again right after it was voted Politifact’s Lie Of The Year?

Death Panels:  that’s her story and she’s sticking to it.

Good grief

Here’s an angry fax sent by an angry teabagger (4 times) to a House of Representatives office today:

Yes, it’s backwards, because the teabagger fed it into the fax machine upside down.  The message wouldn’t be visible on the incoming fax, were it not for the psychotically outraged pressure exerted on the felt pen used to write the original.

(from Wonkette)

DKos Hate-mail-apalooza best of 2009

Time to vote for your favourite hate mail at Daily Kos!

My choice, “Dear Socialist Fuckstick”, looks like a runaway winner, but there’s lots more extremely amusing hate mail to choose from.   Go, be astonished, amused and amazed.