Scary Perry

The feverish madness of USian politics continues apace, entertaining as usual.

If you thought the GOP couldn’t possibly come up with a goofier presidential candidate than CrazyEyes, you’d be wrong.  This past weekend their collective delirium spiraled even further out of control when Texas Governor Rick “Goodhair” Perry threw his 10-gallon hat in the ring, raising the Batshit Index to a level usually confined to the dank subterranean homes of small winged rodents.  Perry is a guy who happily cavorts with fundamentalist whackjobs whose madness is so vile and virulent that other Republican candidates have been forced to reject their endorsements.

Governor Goodhair joins the race

A late entry to the race, Perry clearly felt there was no time to fuck around so he got right to the point.  Which was?  The Point was to establish Perry’s own snout as the most rightward of all the right-wing noses pressed against America’s tea-and-snot-smeared Overton Window.  In an effort to  authenticate his teabagger cred, Perry immediately launched into a deranged attack on one of the Tea Party’s favourite targets, George W Bush-appointed Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke:

“If this guy prints more money between now and the election, I dunno what y’all would do to him in Iowa but we would treat him pretty ugly down in Texas. Printing more money to play politics at this particular time in American history is almost treasonous – or treasonous in my opinion,” said Perry.

“Treat him pretty ugly”.  Hm.  Perry didn’t specify what kind of rude ugliness might await Bernanke in the Lone Star state, but if we use History as our guide, it’s not hard to imagine.  Yee-haw.  Welcome to Texas.

Perry claims to despise the Fed and the printing presses they run at top speed whenever the constipated American economy needs a laxative to help it crap out a few more burger-flipper jobs.  While this supposedly bothers Perry, oddly enough, it doesn’t seem to faze that snakepit of frenzied avarice known as “the Stock Market” — in fact, the stock market seems to like the idea of the economy getting an infusion of increasingly-worthless currency.  During a Q&A with Congress in July, Bernanke vaguely alluded to the possibility that the “treasonous” money machines might be fired up again if the economy continued on its current trajectory.  A previously lacklustre stock market responded to Bernanke’s remarks with a euphoric rebound that spiraled all the way to the closing bell...

Dow, July 12-14

…and then tumbled the next day when he walked his remarks back.  One wonders: Why does Rick Perry hate Capitalism?

I keed, I keed.  But it’s not all rainbows and teabags and hillbilly heroin psychosis and Getting Ugly with Ben.  Perry’s been taking some understandable flack for his remarks, even from other Republicans.  But he’s dug in his heels and stands by his weird little rant, which pretty much makes him Not Ready For Prime Time. Establishment Republicans must be downing aspirin by the gross at the appearance of yet another of their candidates that has to be Stopped.  There’s already a campaign underway to “Stop Bachmann!” — will they have enough gas left in the tank to “Stop Perry!” too?

And then there’s this potential skeleton pounding on the closet door, courtesy of Google:Gee, I told myself that if I started blogging again I wouldn’t pay so much attention to USian politics — after all, it’s been a while since I’ve seen a post about Stephen Harper on Daily Kos.  (“A while” as in “never”.)  But the way things are going, I don’t know if it’ll be possible…

6 Responses to “Scary Perry”


  1. 1 smelter rat Wednesday, August 17, 2011 at 1:45 pm

    Apparently he also pontificated today on his view that global warming is a hoax.

  2. 3 J. A. Baker Wednesday, August 17, 2011 at 2:08 pm

    To be specific, he accused climate scientists of faking the data in order to get grant money, a clear reference to the “Climategate” non-scandal.

    As Blue Texan aptly points out, the only ones faking data for financial gain are the climate science “skeptics” who freely suck Slixxon-Mobil’s corporate cock.

    • 4 JJ Wednesday, August 17, 2011 at 7:15 pm

      Of course, it’s just a scam so Al Gore (inventor of the internet) can buy more big mansions and leave all the lights on, especially on Earth Day.

      Thanks for the links, BTW. Very good!

  3. 5 Terrence Watson Wednesday, August 17, 2011 at 8:19 pm

    Rick Perry gay? I dunno.

    But Pamela Geller (crazy person) seems convinced Perry is a stealth jihadi.

    My favourite line:

    “I suspect Palin will get into the race at last not at once. And by the time she does, we will be panting for her. Oh, yes.”

    Err. Alrighty then.

    • 6 JJ Wednesday, August 17, 2011 at 8:56 pm

      Yes, I also have my doubts. I looked into this a little further, and apparently Kay Bailey Hutchison may have started this by gaming Google when she was running against Perry for governor a couple of years ago.

      Stealth jihadi?! :lol: :lol: Maybe he’s a GAY stealth jihadi :shock:

      Re Palin, I don’t understand why anyone would think she intends to run for president, when she makes way more money doing far less work with her current gig as a Political Celebrity. (Of course, she wouldn’t have that gig without the “Will she or won’t she run for president?” mystique going on.)

      Poor Pamela, destined to unrequited panting.


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