Is nothing safe from the incredible pepper-spraying cop meme?

Mark Twain’s birthday is celebrated today on Google’s home page:

And it was only a matter of time before…

(from Kosso K)

Black Friday “Competitive Shopping”: a savage sport

Stories chronicling the unspeakable violence of Black Friday competitive shopping continue to light up the internets and terrify the world.

The Walmart shopper who cleared a path to the Half-Price X-Boxes by forcing shoppers to cop a lungful of pepper spray has turned herself in to Teh Authorities.  (No word if she’s been told to return the X-Box, though her terror attack on Aisle 5 would make it the Proceeds of Crime, would it not?)

Next:  Disappointed when a Hollister store didn’t open at midnight as expected, an Angry Mob put on a literal “Door Crasher” sale of their own, kicking the store’s doors in, crowding inside and in a frenzied orgy of consumerism, absconding with everything they could carry.

The brutal violence was everywhere, but the tacky WallyWorld was hardest hit.  An abbreviated summary:

At an Arizona Walmart, a grandfather shopping with his grandson had to stash a video game under his shirt to protect it from a vicious Competitive Shopping mob that was trying to seize it from him.  A cop on the scene caught the play and seized Gramps, slammed his face into the ground and put his lights out for ten minutes, then arrested him and took him to the Graybar Hotel for the night.  The whole routine is now being “investigated”.

In North Carolina, a freaked out off-duty cop working as a security guard broke out the pepper sprayfor an ugly mob of shoppers after a fight broke out in a lineup to buy bargain cell phones.

In Michigan and Ohio, fist fights broke out as shoppers pushed and shoved and jostled each other over bath towels.

And finally, in as good a metaphor as I’ve ever seen for the utter humiliation and degradation of Naked Greed, at an Arkansas Walmart there was a visual as well as physical assault as shoppers rioted over $2 waffle irons (yes) and a large woman groping and grasping for a good deal was captured on video losing her pants.

Is it any wonder that outside US borders, heads are shaking in sad wonderment as the world watches and wonders what kind of commentary on humanity might this be?

Bad Form

I understand it’s considered bad form for rank and file progressives to criticize the Canadian Occupy protests in any way, even while being supportive of the American ones.  But if anyone is in a position to do so, it would be the malcontent responsible for setting off the entire movement with that first #occupywallstreet hashtag.   That’s right… as impressed as Adbusters’ Kalle Lasn is with the American protests, it seems he’s somewhat less so with their Canadian counterparts:

Protesters hail it as a life-changing experience while pundits acknowledge it as a driving force in the national conversation, but the man who helped launch the Canadian incarnation of the “Occupy” movement says his adopted home country didn’t execute his vision the way he hoped.

Kalle Lasn, co-founder of the Vancouver-based magazine that touched off the international campaign, said the protest against fiscal imbalance and corporate influence suffered from media misrepresentation and a comparative lack of energy during its first month on Canadian soil. [...]

While the site attracted its share of energized, politically engaged youth who the Estonian-born Lasn describes as “the new left,” he also noted a stronger presence from fringe elements that has given left wing movements a bad name in the past, he said.

“I just had a feeling that there was a little bit too much of the loony left there,” Lasn said. “I had a feeling that we needed more of the young, new-left spunk that I felt was happening in Zuccotti Park. I didn’t see all that much of it here in Vancouver.”

What an Angry Old Person… what a… Teabagger!

The loony left?? Who could that possibly be? (For starters, maybe the dingbats who came up with Occupy Vancouver’s infamous list of demands, a few decent ideas wrapped in a crazyquilt of dumb ones — because we must be inclusive of every voice, no matter how deranged.)

Besides the Loony Left, Lasn also blames the media, and rightly so, for focusing on the negative aspects of the protests.  As always, sensationalism sells, so the homeless, addicted and otherwise dysfunctional members of the encampments received media attention vastly disproportionate to their numbers.  (I hope.)

Finally, Lasn points out one lasting positive impact of the protests: young people who were previously apathetic about politics suddenly became furiously engaged.  While some may drift back into political ennui, others will certainly remain engaged, maybe for life, and even if that was all the occupy protests accomplished it would be a profound success.

Tis the season to be

…pepper sprayed??:

Twenty people, including children, were injured when a woman at a San Fernando Valley Walmart store used mace against other customers in what authorities referred to as a “competitive shopping” incident. [...]

Juan Castro, who was at the scene and took cell phone video of the aftermath, told KCBS correspondent Suraya Fadel, “Just as they started to unwrap everything, all hell broke loose and everybody just swarmed. And in the middle of the parade, some lady just started (pepper spraying) the crowd,” he said. “There were two ladies on the side of me that started fighting.”

Castro said customers were “just trampling over people, people shoving each other. … There were a lot people who got it in their eyes, so they were burning. They were screaming, crying. It was bad.“

“Bad” is a little mild.   “Bad” is when Santa farts while you’re sitting on his knee.  “Collective violent psychotic episode” might be a more accurate way to describe this Walmart Black Friday “competitive shopping” lunacy.  (The term “competitive shopping” deserves a post of its own.)

Ho ho ho!  Don’t mace me, bro!

UPDATE:  Black Friday Competitive Shopping ratchets up the Aggressive Crazy. Ho ho ho!  Don’t taze me, bro!

I can just imagine Black Friday 2012…

Walmart Black Friday Shoppers line up for X-Boxes

 

UPDATE II:  LOL.

(h/t CC on twitter)

Occupy Toronto clears out, makes plans

On Twitter this morning I found a live stream and chat from Occupy Toronto.  I wandered into it right about the point where the protesters were in the process of decamping.  At around 9am local time the cops made an appearance and officially requested that the protesters leave, after which things got underway.  The prevailing mood was one of civility and optimism, and when the protesters started leaving, they did so in a peaceful, organized way, and on their own speed:

Occupy Toronto’s 39-day encampment at St. James Park ended peacefully Wednesday, with a handful of arrests and few altercations with police.

Eleven people were arrested in all and most were released on site with trespassing tickets, rather than criminal charges.

All of the tents and other structures had been cleared by 6 p.m., while the protesters held their evening general assembly at Nathan Phillips Square.

Oh well, there’s always a few, eh?

This is the first time I’ve watched coverage of any protest other than Occupy Vancouver or Victoria and it was impressive.  Occupy Toronto seemed organized, positive and peaceful, in stark contrast to their trainwreckish sister protests out west.

Right now they’re having a “general assembly” meeting to talk about the last 40 days and think about their next move.  With the attitude these protesters have, there’s no doubt that a next move is imminent.

Now, what happened to the Yurt?  I hope it’s okay, it was so cool!

Occupy Toronto Yurt

OWS is growing up (OV: not so much)

Last week was a busy one for Occupy Wall Street in NYC.  Protesters were viciously “de-camped” early on before rallying to mark the protest’s 2-month anniversary with a “day of action” on Thursday that culminated in a pretty amazing march of 10,000 or so (and some awesome guerrilla projection art).

Sure, there were moments of Utter Dumbness as things got underway. Whoever decided it would be a good idea to physically prevent financial workers — who are, you know, part of the “99%” — from getting to their desks on Thursday morning should be slapped in the head with a New York City phone book. Deserving of a follow-up slap is the bright light who initiated an anemic effort to “shut down” the Stock Exchange, as counterproductive an idea as I can imagine for a protest that claims unemployment is among their major beefs. (It doesn’t take a genius to imagine the frenzied panic selling during the last 2 hours of the European session if the NYSE’s opening bell was inexplicably silent at 9:30am Eastern… and sell-offs mean layoffs.  Oops!)

Those little misfires aside, something that impressed the hell out of me on Thursday morning was CNBC’s interview with an Occupy Wall Street organizer. This young man was everything we usually don’t see in media depictions of OWS: intelligent and articulate and even savvy enough to dress for the occasion.  I was doubly impressed that CNBC, Wall Street TV, would even deign to interview him, and overcome the challenges that smuggling him into the Stock Exchange must surely have presented on that particular day.  Watch this:

Occupy Wall Street is growing up.

But like that old Seinfeld episode about “good naked” and “bad naked”, there’s “good Occupy” and “bad Occupy”.

Which brings me to Occupy Vancouver.

I can’t speak to how the rest of the country’s occupiers are doing in the wake of being swept out of encampments, but Occupy Vancouver seems to have pushed its luck and public sympathy to the breaking point.  What may have started as a populist movement articulating the justifiable rage of an impossibly-squeezed middle class has clearly devolved into something far less sympathetic. Contrast the CNBC interview above with this video from an Occupy Vancouver protest last week:

“Play with us”?  Arrgh.  That brainless little diatribe is, as RT says, a revealing “tell” that goes a long way to explaining why OV has lost much of the public support it once had. The vast majority of “the 99%” don’t want to run and play all their lives, or be told that their work ethic is “bullshit”.

Occupy Vancouver is currently on the move again — according to their live chat, they and their tents and tarps are heading for Commercial Drive because it’s perceived as more Occupy-friendly.  Just don’t tell them that settling into an area that welcomes them with open arms (and maybe candy and flowers) makes it less of an “occupation” and more of an “open-ended visit”.

Banksters fight back?

Are the vast, scum-ridden septic tanks of sleaze, avarice and mendacity that make up the US banking system a little rattled by Occupy Wall Street? Chris Hayes seems to have the proof on this morning’s “Up With Chris Hayes” show:

This is exactly what is wrong with the whole system, that corporate entities have this kind of political drag.

Hmm… first they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you…

OWS Guerilla Art Awesomeness

From last night’s Rachel Maddow Show, a guerilla art project that accompanied Occupy Wall Street’s 10,000-strong 2-month anniversary march to the Brooklyn Bridge on Thursday night:

Unlike most OWS protests, which I support but which thus far haven’t been particularly impressive to someone who lived through the tumultuous 60s, this one made my heart skip a beat or two, like something inside struggling to shake itself awake…

Who is Lulu Lemon?

Premium yoga-and-activewear manufacturer Lululemon has a new shopping bag design that’s proving not to be everyone’s cup (bag?) of tea:

In late October, the company began using shopping bags with the words “Who is John Galt?” a catchphrase from the 1957 novel Atlas Shrugged, which rails against government and advocates self-interest as a key ingredient of a better world.

The company also added the book to its staff reading list.

In recent years more companies have taken philosophical stands in their marketing, but most embrace charitable and community-oriented causes, rather than Rand’s every-man-for-himself point of view.

I think it’s a pretty cool bag, as bags go, but the reference to Atlas Shrugged put a tantric twist in the body, mind, emotions, spirit and panties of some of Lululemon’s more socialist-leaning customers:

“It’s a clash with yoga values,” said Sarah Kurchak, 29, who has about 15 pieces of Lululemon clothing in her wardrobe.

I could be wrong, but owning 15 pairs of $100 yoga pants and hoodies just might be the old telltale sign that the “Clashing With Yoga Values” train has already left the station.  Come to the dark side… we’ve got spandex…

Paging Nancy Ruth

It’s okay, Nancy Ruth!  All is forgiven!!

Indeed…

My eyes! My eyes!

During times of eyeball-popping stress and frustration, I suspect just about everyone has uttered the word “fuck”, or at least had it appear in a little thought-cloud above their head.   Even our Politicians.  Especially them. Why not?

We need to disabuse ourselves of the long-standing popular misconception that our elected officials inhabit some higher plane than the rest of us: they don’t. All the sanctimonious bullpuckey about politicians having higher standards… come on.  Really?  They’re politicians, which by definition makes them slimier and more repugnant by nature than giant garden slugs.  And if they’re conservative politicians, they’re probably harrumphing self-righteous hypocrites to top it off — liberals at least don’t pretend to be anything but pond scum.

So when one of these fine elected officials of ours does something as mundane as drop an F-bomb, we shouldn’t be surprised or outraged: we should be delighted.  We should be flooding Parliament Hill with e-mails demanding that every MP meet an F-bomb quota.  Canadians might actually watch a Question Period that sounded like an episode of the Sopranos.

From the “Jokes that write themselves” file

A newspaper headline goes horribly wrong:

Unless it’s a story about Tubesock-Or-Bust at long last meeting his idol Sarah Palin?

(Image swiped shamelessly from Preliator pro Causa)

Canadian Blog Awards

The nominations are in and first round voting is underway.

I’d like to endorse my homegrrlz at DammitJanet, who’ve been nominated in several categories including Best Feminist Blog.

Show ‘em some love!  (You know you want to.)

Donald Trump still on TV, Contemplations of the Apocalypse

Arrgh.  I had planned on writing about something else, but this is bugging me. Short form: Donald Trump, still on TV, why?

I wonder if anyone else is as tired as I am of Donald Trump incessantly braying at them from their TV sets.  Even as I type this, he’s bellowing about something or other from the far corner of the room, and it grates: does anyone really like listening to this jerk?

The Sultan of Self-Promotion has been sucking up oxygen on National TV on a regular basis ever since he launched the byzantine political theatre he still refers to as his “presidential campaign“.

But it doesn’t matter what he called it, then or now, because most people suspect they know it for what it really was: a ruse and a sham, an elaborate hoax meant only to drum up publicity for Trump’s reality TV show.  He accomplished this goal primarily by breathing new life into the brainless “birther” conspiracy theory, and once that was done The Donald put his “campaign” to sleep and strolled away chortling to himself.  To make matters even more ridiculous, several members (though not all) of the Confederacy of Clowns known as the GOP primary slate have made the journey to Trump Tower, kneepads securely in place, to beg Trump and the weasel that dwells on his head for their endorsements.  This might explain why the media unfathomably continues to consult Trump as though he were a serious pundit rather than the political equivalent of a carnival barker.

It’s becoming depressingly clear that if anyone other than Ron Paul wins the nomination, for the next 12 months observers of US politics will witness a sideshow of unparalleled sleaze that rapidly spirals into madness, with the bellicose Trump and his equally aggressive Hair giving a feverish play-by-play punctuated by mindless screams of “Where’s the birth certificate!??”.

Can the Apocalypse be far behind?

Vicious Catholic Child Molesters becoming parody of selves

Presumably, the title “Catholic Church Child Safety Co-ordintor” is meant to be reassuring, to inspire confidence in parents and everyone else who’s been watching aghast as the Catholic Church disintegrates into a cesspool of perversion and degradation.  “Catholic Church Child Safety Co-Ordinator”:  what could possibly go wrong?:

A Catholic Church child safety co-ordinator who was in charge of investigating sexual abuse allegations was jailed for 12 months today for internet peadophile offences.

Christopher Jarvis, 49, a married father-of-four, investigated historic claims of child abuse, interviewing the victims when they were adults.

He was responsible for child protection at 120 churches and parish community groups for nine years.

Just a friendly word of advice to rank-and-file Catholics:  when news stories about your organization start looking like they came out of the Onion, it might be time to find a new organization.

(h/t Joe.My.God, via the General on Twitter)

Howard Beale: Spiritual Leader of #OWS?

Yesterday I was experimenting with posting video in the comments section of an earlier entry, and for no particular reason chose the “Mad As Hell” scene from classic movie “Network”. It was just the first thing that randomly came to mind when I went to Youtube to find a short video suitable for the test — any video, it could have been a music video, it could have been a Simon’s Cat video, but for no particular reason “Howard Beale Mad As Hell” was what I typed in the Youtube search field.

I’ve always thought Network was one of the best goddamn movies ever made.  At the time it was considered extremely dark satire, so controversial that screenwriter Paddy Chayevsky had trouble shopping it around.  But who would ever have imagined the words intoned by the Mad Prophet of the Airwaves…:

… would still resonate more than ever decades later — 35 years, for those keeping track.

And just as presciently, from the same movie:

Occupy Wall Street, meddling with the Primal Forces of Nature?

Rick Perry’s brain fart at CNBC debate

“Dumber than Dubya” Rick Perry continued to fortify his reputation as the goofiest candidate on the GOP primary slate last night at the CNBC debate, when he was unable to remember the name of the third of three agencies he planned to cut as President.  Perry’s potentially campaign-killing brain fart:

Stalwart GOP supporters are anything but pleased:

I almost feel sorry for the poor guy.

Almost.  HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Trick or Fet(us)

Ewwwwwww:

Some adults are appalled that children in Loganville got dolls of 12-week-old fetuses with their Halloween candy, Channel 2 Action News reports. [...]

Joshua Edmonds, who told Channel 2 Action News he is a senior minister of the Christian social justice organization Project:Ignite, says he can’t understand why some people are upset with what he did. [...]

One of the people taken aback was John Ramsey, whose 3-year-old grandson received one of the dolls.

“When they handed that to him, he wanted to know what it was, and so the gentlemen there told him it was a 12-week-old fetus and this is what you looked like in your mother’s belly,” Ramsey told Channel 2.

“Almost everyone I’ve spoken to was appalled by what transpired,” Ramsey said. “I think there’s a time and place for everything, but I don’t think handing out toy fetuses to 3-year-olds is an appropriate thing to do.”

Not appropriate and also not sane.  But one thing it is, is creepy.

Leadership!

Occupy Denver picks a leader:

Denver Mayor Michael Hancock insisted that his city’s occupation name a leader in order “to deal with City and State officials.” And he got his wish! Occupy Denver has elected Shelby, a border collie, as its leader. Long live Shelby!

A fitting leader for a protest against the dog-eat-dog world of corporate sleaze and avarice.  Awwww, Shelby!

Good choice, Border Collies are the smartest dog around, smarter than most humans I know.  (Occupy Vancouver could sure use a border collie-leader right about now.)

If you go down to Tent City today

You’re in for a big surprise

If you go down to Tent City today

You  better go in disguise…

…preferably in a hazmat suit:

An Occupy Victoria protester who has moved his demonstration into a tree is being accused of pouring a two-litre bottle of urine onto the head of a city worker.

And while you’re at it, it might not be a bad idea to get a rabies shot:

Vancouver police chief Jim Chu said today that the Occupy Vancouver tent city has been “infiltrated by a violent element” and that it is time for the protesters to leave the encampment peacefully. [...]

The VPD chief constable said that two police officers were sent to the hospital Monday night with “human bite wounds” after they attempted to stop protesters from pushing and shoving firefighters who were trying to extinguish a burning fire in a barrel.

That distant flushing sound you hear is public opinion of Occupy Vancouver and Victoria, swirling in the proverbial bowl.

I don’t know how the other Canadian Occupy protests are faring but as far as BC is concerned, my early ambivalence is seemingly being validated before my eyes.  Nature abhors a vacuum, and in the absence of the populist causes driving the US movement, I suspected that many of the original protesters would soon leave.  With them would go their good intentions and behind them they’d leave the “tent cities” to the jobless, homeless and more brain-damaged elements of the street, with the predictable mayhem ensuing.  Even death.

I seriously wonder if any of the original “occupiers” who were protesting banksters, rampant corporate greed and the raw deal given the middle class, are even there any more.  Certainly the savagely absurd little list of “demands” that came out of Occupy Vancouver last week (which they’ve since scrubbed from their website and backed away from) had little to do with the middle class, other than as a target for wealth redistribution.

Not that they should be forced to end their protest — if they want to protest, they have a right to do so.  But at a time when they should be doing damage control and reaching out to the people they purport to be “fighting for”, things are getting increasingly weird.  I mean, really… asking for donations of necessities like blankets I can see, but walkie-talkies?  Dedicated internet?  Condoms??

I got nothin’

...nothin’:

Michelle Duggar and her husband Jim Bob are expecting their 20^th child, the couple revealed exclusively to TODAY.

“We are so excited,” Michelle Duggar told TODAY Moms before the broadcast. Now three and a half months pregnant, the mom of 19 says she was actually surprised to discover that she’s expecting again at 45. “I was not thinking that God would give us another one, and we are just so grateful.”

Excited?  I think she really meant to say “exhausted”, but she was too tired to think of the right word.

It’s “Bank Transfer Day”

…the day fed-up, fucked-over bank customers tell their banks to fuck off.

This is the day bank customers have been encouraged to “Move [Their] Money” out of Too Big To Fail Pig Palaces like Bank of America and into credit unions, out of Wall Street and into Main Street.  Mass Banxodus!:

The social media-organized global backlash against big banks began Saturday, as thousands of fed-up customers yanked their money en masse from large corporate institutions to dump it into credit unions.

Smaller community banks across the United States were recording an uptick in business as a result of the anti-corporate sentiment, which came to a head on so-called international “Bank Transfer Day” on Saturday.

And slowly but surely, it seems to be catching on.  Today’s Big Number –  650,000:

As the social media-sparked Bank Transfer Day approaches, the Credit Union National Association (CUNA) reports that over 650,000 people have joined credit unions in the last four weeks.

This isn’t an Occupy Wall Street idea (though they endorse it), but it’s a good one!  In fact, of all the ideas that have emerged during the recent anti-bankster upheaval, this is the one I like best, the one that makes me leap up and pump my fist in the air and scream “YES!!”.  Because it’s the one that, if done right, would work. Bank of America has already backed down on a proposed new debit card fee that they hoped to slide by snoozing customers last month, instead awakening a sleeping giant who proceeded to get up out of the wrong side of the bed and scream back at the bank: “OH, YEAH??!”

But as luck would have it…  I wonder how many other bank customers will find their banks’ electronic transaction systems “down for maintenance” this weekend and in the coming days.

More from the “Had To Happen” files

No societal phenomenon worth its salt escapes the rapier wit and jabbing mockery of Parker and Stone!

Fast and furious on the moneygrubbing heels of this little explosion of Occupy Wall Street Capitalism comes the penultimate harbinger of a movement mainstreaming — being the inspiration for an episode of South Park:

It was only a matter of time: South Park has something to say about Occupy Wall Street. On Wednesday night, Trey Parker and Matt Stone‘s Comedy Central series ran an episode titled “1%” that drew some topical humor and mild-to-moderate jabs from the ongoing #OWS protests sweeping the country.

The storyline is analogous, but its intent is clear.   And though some on the right were soiling themselves with excitement in feverish anticipation of a South Park episode that they hoped would slice and dice the 99%ers, the episode lampooned the 1% in equal measure.  (Though this is one time I wouldn’t have minded seeing them get the usual way more than their fair share.)

Occupy Junk Mail, Part II

Here’s a few helpful hints to go with the “Occupy Junk Mail” concept detailed in the video at my last post.

The more I think about it, the more I like it.

Keep ‘em occupied, keep ‘em busy processing that junk mail!

Occupy Junk Mail

I’m always happy to return my junk mail from whence it came, or at least back into the “outgoing” slot, in my ongoing feud with the Post Office. It would probably be more effective to return it to the original senders if only I had time for such an undertaking, but — wait, I feel a rush of poetry coming on…

Alas and alack,
No time to mail it back.

But that’s just me.  Could “Return To Sender” be an effective “Occupy” tactic?:

No doubt there’s more of such ingenuity where that came from, and we’ll be seeing it very soon.  As winter approaches and the logistics of “occupying” outdoor spaces become increasingly untenable, more creative tactics will be needed to keep the Occupy movement top-of-mind until Occupations can begin again, re-energized, next spring.  I don’t see this one fading into the sunset anytime soon.

But even if it does fade, the movement (at least in the States) has already been a success, having managed to grab the wheel and steer the political discourse away from the sinkholes of meaningless minutae and wheel-spinning that tend to bog it down.  Even the media has dropped its stubborn pretense that the protests “were nothing”, and has started talking about the things that matter: the economic squeeze-play crushing the beleaguered middle class, the monied special interests pulling the strings of government, and a future increasingly bereft of opportunity.  When even business media features more than one article about you on their website…

 …the shifting of tectonic plates is underway.  And that in itself is an accomplishment.