Who let the dogs in??

The GOP Primary Reality Clown Show has packed up its balloons and clown shoes and fart whistles and red foam noses and is headed for New Hampshire after a terrifying Tuesday night in Iowa.  Terrifying to sane humans, for sure, but even more terrifying to dogs.

It’s true: dogs everywhere shuddered in horrified unison Tuesday night when the vote came down to a squeaker between two humans who strike terror into canine hearts: Mitt Romney and Rick “Frothymixture” Santorum, with Romney winning by a cold wet nose:

In the closest ever results in the history of the Iowa caucuses, Romney defeated Christian conservative Santorum by a whisper — just eight votes — in Tuesday’s opening shots of the 2012 White House race.

Dogs aren’t happy with the humans’ dimwitted choices, and with good reason.

They still growl quietly among themselves about poor Seamus Romney, the Irish Setter who took a wild and now-legendary ride atop the Romney family station wagon, and his visceral response to this torment.  Grrrr.  Clearly Canine Rights wouldn’t be a high priority in a Romney Administration.

Even worse is loathsome Christofascist pinhead Santorum, with his deranged and vile remarks about Man-On-Dog sex.  Woof!!  Years later, he perversely stands by his bizarre comments, and in spite of it being clear that most of the world would rather he kept his reflections on that particular subject to himself, he’s anxious to reiterate them at every opportunity.  It seems that as far as Santorum is concerned, a demented obsession with bestiality isn’t a bug, it’s a feature: then again, what better way to get a lock on the Christaliban Dogfucker vote?

It’s no wonder that the possibility of this repugnant bag of human scum becoming Leader of the Off-Leash World is a matter of such great canine concern.