Archive for the '2012 US Presidential Election' Category

Skipping Down The Boulevard of Butthurt Broken Dreams

I delayed commenting on the Presidential Election — henceforth to be known as the Great Conservative Hyperkinetic Projectile Bed-Shitting of 2012 — because at first I couldn’t quite believe what I was seeing.  I refer not to the re-election of One-Term-President Barack Hussein FourMoreYears Obama; that writing had adorned the wall for some time.  What’s truly astonishing is the Right’s response to it.

Not only is there no joy in Wingnutville, there’s shock, sputtering disbelief, bewilderment and utter confusion.

I was a little surprised myself as I took the temperature of the DarkSyde on election day.  Despite all the predictive science to the contrary, all day long right wingers delirious with dumb hubris brayed about the imminent crushing defeat of the MuslimKenyanFetusBully.  Drunk on their own bombast, pundit after pundit, blogger after blogger (and their commenters) ebulliently predicted a landslide victory for the doomed GOP ticket, even after the returns started coming in and it was obvious to everyone else that the shit-hammer was coming down hard.  It was surreal: Baghdad Bob came to mind.

No wonder they’re so shell-shocked: they really thought their man Mittens, once so despised and mistrusted, would cruise to an easy win on Tuesday.

For once, this reality deficit can’t be blamed on Low Information Voters being played by people who know better.  The delusion was top-down: so confident was Team Romney of a romp to victory that they broke with electoral tradition and didn’t even bother to prepare a concession speech:

“This is a big day for big change,” Romney told staffers and volunteers at a Cleveland-area campaign office.

On his campaign plane in between flights, he worked on his speech. He said he hasn’t written a concession speech, though he acknowledged the results might not come out in his favor. “Nothing is certain in politics,” he said.

That last point was certainly driven home on election night, eh?  No wonder conservatives are reeling: being so overconfidently sure that you’re right must make it all the more humiliating to be Wrong.

Since then, there’s been a lot of talk in quiet rooms and other places about the downside of ideological purity, changes of direction and GOP soul-searching.  (If you doubt it, google “GOP” + “soul-searching”.)   But there’s been just as much ominous chatter about hunkering down in fortified bunkers with lots of ammo and MREs.    Un-following, un-friending, disowning and even divorcing any Democrat.  Eventually one way or the other will prevail, but bear in mind that Humiliation and Butthurt are less likely to evolve into realistic pragmatism than the kind of aggrieved resentment that characterized Teabuggery.

Republicans have a right to be angry, but not at Democrats or the voters who returned them to power.  If they should be angry at anyone, it’s the hermetically-sealed, airtight Fox News/Limbaugh/right-wing-blogosphere Information Bubble that failed them so awesomely, so spectacularly, during this election campaign.

Rage Against the Lifesite Machine

In a bombshell of Outrageous Outrage exposed by an “incensed” “Ottawa Mom” (or should that be “MOM”?) last week, it was revealed that 52 Catholic school kids from St.Pete’s in Ottawa were heading down to Ohio on a Civics field trip to observe US election procedures. The too-much-time-on-her-hands Ottawa Mom was in a frenzy of fear that the trip might have an ulterior motive: to help the MuslimKenyanFetusBully win re-election.  After all, the Civics Teacher in charge of the mobile shindig, Scott Searle, made it clear on his Facebook page where he stands:

…and most incriminatingly, among Searle’s “Likes”: *GASP* “Obama For America“.  The pinch is in!  SHRIEEEEEEEEK!!

Incensed Ottawa Mom reported this Obamanation to her most trusted “news” source, Lifesite, the Canadian mouthpiece of batshit-insane extremist fetus-obsessed ultraconservative Catholicism.  Lifesite and its readers in turn responded with predictable Jesus-driven spittle-flecked fury.  Lifesite comments condemning the Catholic school board to fry forever in the afterlife convinced the Principal of St.Pete’s to cancel the trip:

Many anonymous commenters accused the board of being “incompetent” or condoning “the anti-Catholic policies of Obama.” Others said the board is “pro-contraception and pro-abortion” and “pays for contraception for their employees … and partners with groups that promote contraception in the developing world.”

One comment, which received 31 “likes” from fellow readers, said “If you support the party that supports abortion YOU BETRAY GOD.”

“I could see that the trip was causing unforeseen anxiety,” said McDonald who, after discussing her decision with Searle, gathered the 52 students on Thursday in the school’s chapel to break the news.

Searle is apparently well-liked by his students, and their response to the Lifesite article that led to the field trip being cancelled was swift and terrible.  Normally a LS article is lucky to glean 3 or 4 comments: the field trip article has over 300 as of this writing, as enraged students descend on Lifesite like hungry harriers on a rat-infested pasture.  They’ve also started a Twitter campaign, #TeamSearle, which is a hell of a lot more active than some zombie timelines I could name.  (#M312, I’m looking at you.)

If nothing else, the student response definitely puts lie to the notion that all those happy shiny young faces the Catholic schools bus in to the annual March for Feti are the next generation of wombcentric leg-humping hyperconservative Catholic punishment freaks.  Woot! Woot!  Go Team Searle!

Bible-thumping Bullshit

Bill Maher on the consequences of a Romney presidency:

Discuss. (LOL.)

(via Joe.My.God)

Tough on China

I now belatedly turn my attention south of the border, to the Circus of Clowns known as the Presidential Election, just 10 days away.

Of all the abject foolishness that’s been offered up by the GOP campaign, it would be hard to isolate a more sadly self-beclowning buffoon than Romney supporter, Birther and Attention Whore Donald Trump.  When he’s not screaming about “the Birth Certificate”, Trump bellows about “getting tough on China” because its currency manipulation makes life difficult for American industry.

The other night on Letterman Trump was predictably railing about kicking Chinese ass, when some shirts and ties from his signature clothing line were brought out:

Shirts made in Bangladesh:  $69.50 (marked down to $46.99)

Ties made in CHINA: $65.00 (marked down to $34.99)

The look on Trump’s face at getting completely and utterly busted:


Humour Break. Stop me if you’ve heard this one…

Joe Biden walks into a biker bar.  Immediately he’s got Jim’s ol’ lady sitting on his lap:

Reportedly Biden spent the rest of the day tugging on Superman’s cape, spitting into the wind, and pulling the mask off the old Lone Ranger.

That said, does this photo not cry for captions?  Have at ‘er.

(And Joe, if you ever need your lap warmed by another biker chick: Call me!)


The Good, the Bad & the Weird

In the vicious political circus south of the border, where they’re apparently having one of those “Presidential Elections” later this year, evidence of the retrograde brain damage afflicting the Republican Party continues to mount relentlessly. It’s been showcased all this week in the Republican National Convention, and last night it spiraled into madness.

Clint Eastwood showed up — more or less — and made the teabaggers’ day with an odd, sometimes incoherent routine that had him debating an empty chair and getting his ass kicked by it.  It was a strange and terrifying schtick, particularly for those of us at seniorhood’s doorstep.  And apparently not great PR, because after it painfully concluded actor Chris Rock was prompted to tweet:

And no wonder:


In other RNC News Of The Weird, Karl Rove apparently wants to whack Todd Akin:

We should sink Todd Akin. If he’s found mysteriously murdered, don’t look for my whereabouts!

Only a high-profile Republican windbag could get away with openly musing about assassinating someone.  But why not?  Akin might well be responsible for the GOP losing its chance to gain control of the Senate with his own bizarre comments about “Legitimate Rape“.  Not that he expressed an opinion most Republicans don’t share: his mistake was going public with it and getting caught, and then refusing to step down.

Meanwhile in Akinworld, the recalcitrant senatorial candidate begs for donations on Twitter, cursing the GOP’s upper echelons as the “liberal elite”.

 I’d be watching my back if I were him.

It’s all over now, leaving nothing in its wake but a riot of “MITT!” signs, a few random dried-out piles of elephant poop and some strange, strange memories. But as weird as the RNC was, stranger still is the fact that after electing a candidate the base despises, but who happens to be the only thing they can come up with that stands a chance in a general election, it still hasn’t occurred to the GOP that maybe what they really need a new base.


UPDATE:  And right on schedule, the inevitable half-hearted apology.  From Rove, anyway.   Clint Eastwood has yet to apologize for his abysmally weird performance,  unless he apologized to an empty chair.


UPDATER:  With typical deftness, balb points out that Eastwood’s speech may in fact have been Performance Art.  It makes sense when you think about it: the Empty Chair represents the Obama that only conservatives of the teabagging persuasion can see — the America-hater, the Socialist, the Kenyan Usurper, the Bloodthirsty Babykiller, the Far-Left Extremist and Presider Over Death Panels.

Oh shit

Nah, it’s probably nothing.

Santorum’s House of Fear

That dull roar you hear is the sound of All The Internets laughing uproariously at Rick Santorum’s new, desperately dramatic campaign commercial, “Obamaville”, a glimpse at America’s dystopian future under a second Obama term.

“Obamaville” is a post-apocalyptic Anytown USA, where religious freedom has been snuffed out like a candle, dead kids’ shoes lie in abandoned, rusted-out playgrounds, young couples survive on rations of tomatoes, people shoot themselves over high gas prices, seniors wait silently for their names to be called by the Death Panels and in the background, footage of crazed, nuke-enabled Iranian presidents runs in a continuous loop on all TV screens.

Ahhh!  They had me at the snuffed out religious freedom.  Okay, let’s get down to it: you must watch this thing to believe it:

How scary is that?  On a scale of 1 to 10… BE AFRAID!!

This spot is so jam-packed with subliminal messaging that as a refugee of the advertising industry, I instantly fell head over heels in love with it.  (Bad habits die hard.)   It fires an absolute ton of scary shit directly at the subconscious lizard brain of every half-bright citizen of Flyover Country:  the (presumably dead) kid’s shoe in the abandoned playground (play is outlawed in desolate Obamaville, and anyway there are no more kids because they’ve all been aborted), the baby dressed in red (which was probably as close as the campaign dared go to fetus pron, no doubt to Mr.Santorum’s extreme disappointment), the quick-cuts from the madman Ahmadinejad to a smug-looking President Obama (satisfied that he’s given the madman the capability to Destroy America, which of course was his evil plan all along when he pretended to be a US citizen so he could usurp the Presidency), and so on and on and on.  It’s freaking awesome.  You almost have to stop it every second or two to catch everything.

Red Tory has selected some frames from the commercial that you might not even know you’ve seen at first.  I totally missed the “kid going into scary forest” frame.  Anything else jump out at you? What’s the significance of the young couple with the bowl of tomatoes?  The family on the porch of the white house?  The group of men smoking and drinking?

Ahhhh, thankyou Santorum Campaign!

Meanwhile, in Post-Racial America…

Bumper sticker caught earlier this week that’s been making the rounds on Twitter and Facebook:

Actually, this thing’s been around for awhile:  Maddowblog caught a similar thing last year.

Not much to add, except #puke

Submitted without (much) comment

Because sometimes there’s just no comment I could possibly *come* up with that would provide adequate snarkification.  From Rick Santorum’s website, what is presumably a money raising promotion with the world’s greatest acronym:

It’s still there as of 2:45 Pacific, so the Santorum campaign must be delirious with joy, imagining that the surge of incumming clicks is potential donors.

2:54 – Bwahaa!  Still there.

(h/t trappedinawhirlpool on twitter)

From the “WTF Is Wrong With People?” file

Speaking of right-wing terrorism, here’s a little item that will reaffirm your faith in the inherent goodness of the human race… NOT.

Yesterday the campaign manager for Arkansas Democrat Ken Aden arrived home with his kids to find the family cat dead on the porch, with the word “LIBERAL” scrawled on its side in felt pen.

(Caution before clicking link below: graphic image of animal cruelty.)

Can the state of politics in the USA degenerate any further?

One shudders to imagine.

UPDATE:  For those who don’t want to click the link, the full story without picture is also here.  But, the blogger linked above has posted the image further down the post, so as not to be the first thing you see, and also has a warning that the image below is graphic.

(via Robert McClelland on Twitter)

Dreams & Schemes & Circus Crowds: On Teh Newticles

I usually find it’s helpful to try and see things from both sides, from left and right, from up and down, from win and lose… and still somehow…

… I am utterly baffled and astonished by this:

Newt Gingrich pulled off a dramatic upset over Mitt Romney in the South Carolina Republican primary Saturday, reviving his own candidacy for the party’s presidential nomination and raising new doubts about that of his suddenly weakened rival.

Mr. Gingrich captured 40 per cent of the vote, compared to 28 per cent for Mr. Romney. Rick Santorum and Ron Paul trailed with 17 per cent and 13 per cent, respectively.

Does anyone have a rational explanation of how Values’ Votin’ South Carolinians(?) can look at this hypocrisy-oozing pusbag of amoral serial-marrying scum and fetid opportunistic malfeasance and think

“Yep, he’s our guy!”


Karma’s a cold-hearted bitch on wheels

Marianne Gingrich, aka Mrs. Newt Gingrich II, is warped, bitter, twisted and trash-talking at top speed as if the world doesn’t already know what Vile Scum with Snail Slime on Top her ex really is:

Marianne Gingrich said she first heard from the former speaker about the divorce request as she was waiting in the home of her mother on May 11, 1999, her mother’s 84th birthday. Over the phone, as she was having dinner with her mother, Newt Gingrich said, “I want a divorce.”

Ah, but like 5pm, it’s always someone’s mother’s birthday somewhere, and it’s as good a time as any to drink a beer or dump a spouse.  Certainly a better time than, say… oh, never mind.

Newt himself was unimpressed:

Facing continued scrutiny of his personal life, Newt Gingrich on Thursday called an interview by his ex-wife Marianne Gingrich “tawdry and inappropriate,” and refused to answer any questions about it.

And why not?  If anyone knows Tawdry and Inappropriate, it’s the Newtster.  I’d take his word on Cheap and Sleazy as well.

And so the world turns — my stomach, at times — and new nadirs of dumbness continue to be scraped from the bottom of the GOP Primary barrel.  What’s so endlessly amusing about Marianne G’s burst of self-righteous fury and indignant rage is that, speaking of Bad Timing, wasn’t she the one who played Hide-The-Sausage with the philandering, out of control Newtster while his first wife was battling cancer?  And presumably gave two enthusiastic thumbs up to the idea of dumping Mrs. Newt the First while she was preoccupied with that cancer thing, maybe rationalizing it the same way Newt did:

“She’s not young enough or pretty enough to be the wife of the President. And besides, she has cancer.”

I wonder which was the dealbreaker, the not-pretty-enough or the cancer?

It’s one of Life’s most basic lessons, and just one of the many reasons why you never, ever, ever screw around with someone else’s husband, especially one as completely and utterly morally bankrupt as Newt: apart from it just being Wrong, you have to know that if he’ll do it to her, he’ll do it to you.  And you can take that to the bank along with your alimony cheque.

GOP Presidential Primary Field: Now 16.6% Less Sane

Or to put it another way, 83.4% Batshit (and the jury’s still out on Ron Paul).

Jon Huntsman, the only thing between the GOP Presidential Primary Field and its own category in the DSM-IV, has left run screaming from the building:

Jon M. Huntsman Jr. informed his advisers on Sunday that he intends to drop out of the Republican presidential race, ending his candidacy a week before he had hoped to revive his campaign in the South Carolina primary.

Mr. Huntsman, who had struggled to live up to the soaring expectations of his candidacy, made plans to make an announcement as early as Monday. He had been set to participate in an evening debate in Myrtle Beach.

Another one bites the dust.  Not that it’s unexpected:  in that field, Huntsman was like the Head Counsellor at a summer camp for crack babies.

这么久 …

That means so long, Jon Huntsman!  Get yer Romney endorsement in, early and often.

Corporate Raiders of the Lost Ark

I feel a little sorry for the Democratic Party’s ad agency.  By the time the Republican candidate is chosen and advertising for the presidential election campaign starts in earnest, they’ll be like the Maytag Repairmen of the Marketing World if the GOP keeps supplying moments like this:

Woot!  Probably not the best sound bite given Romney’s well-documented history of job-destruction with Bain Capital:

For months, Mitt Romney has seldom been challenged on his claim that his leadership at Bain Capital LLC offers evidence that he knows how to create jobs. That has ended as his Republican rivals are accusing him of exploiting companies and firing workers in a quest to make millions.

And lovin’ every minute of it!

Rick Santorum and the Right to be Weird

Make no mistake: the frothy Rick Santorum is weird in ways that go light-years beyond grotesque.  But when he obligingly provides so much material for his opponents to work with, I wonder if this aspect of his weirdness is appropriate fodder for televised political debate:

During a segment on Fox News Monday, Alan Colmes told host Jon Scott that Santorum’s surge in the polls would be only temporary after voters discovered some of his history.

“Once [voters] get a load of some of the crazy things he’s said and done, like taking his 2-hour-old baby who died right after childbirth home and played with it for a couple of hours so his other children would know that the child was real,” Colmes explained.

 “You are mocking him,” Fox News contributor Rich Lowry interrupted. “They lost a child, Alan. That’s very serious and it’s not something you should be mocking on national TV.”

Lowry went a bit overboard, but — and this isn’t a sentence you’ll read here every day — I tend to sort of agree with him.  And why not?  Who’d know more about mockery and public humiliation than the guy who degraded himself before the Entire Internets in 2008 with his sweaty narrative about how Sarah Palin’s vice-presidential debate performance propelled him to new spastic heights of ecstasy that left sticky starburst-shaped stains all over his living room?

Bringing home an expired 20-week fetus to play with and show the other kids is a little weird, at least to me, and it’s probably not what I’d do.  But I’m not, nor have I ever been, Rick Santorum (or anything even remotely similar, thank god) so if he wants to do it, who am I to say he shouldn’t?   Unlike some of Santorum’s other infamous weirdness, this grieving ritual wasn’t hateful and didn’t hurt anyone else (except maybe his traumatized kids), so I can’t say I’m comfortable with something so private being held up for public ridicule in a mass media venue.  (To his credit, Colmes has apologized to the Santorums, and rightly so.  Progressives can do better, especially with as rich a mine of comedy gold as Santorum.)

The Santorums’ unusual grieving process is less important than the fact that it may have come about because of an emergency medical procedure that Santorum himself is obsessed with criminalizing (though the jury is still out on whether it was actually an abortion).  Besides taking hypocrisy to a new low, it shows a cognitive dissonance and lack of empathy that would be dangerous to women in the unlikely event that he won the presidency — which makes it fair game for open debate.

Rick Santorum’s right to be weird ends at other people’s wombs.


A leftover from the other night that was screaming to get out of the hopper:

Who could blame CNN for making this mistake during their coverage of the Iowa Caucus on Tuesday?

Bachmann Palin, Palin Bachmann, my daughter my sister, my sister my daughter…

Does this prove the Media is Liberal or Conservative?  Or just Dumb and Drunk?

(from DrewCanTweet)

Who let the dogs in??

The GOP Primary Reality Clown Show has packed up its balloons and clown shoes and fart whistles and red foam noses and is headed for New Hampshire after a terrifying Tuesday night in Iowa.  Terrifying to sane humans, for sure, but even more terrifying to dogs.

It’s true: dogs everywhere shuddered in horrified unison Tuesday night when the vote came down to a squeaker between two humans who strike terror into canine hearts: Mitt Romney and Rick “Frothymixture” Santorum, with Romney winning by a cold wet nose:

In the closest ever results in the history of the Iowa caucuses, Romney defeated Christian conservative Santorum by a whisper — just eight votes — in Tuesday’s opening shots of the 2012 White House race.

Dogs aren’t happy with the humans’ dimwitted choices, and with good reason.

They still growl quietly among themselves about poor Seamus Romney, the Irish Setter who took a wild and now-legendary ride atop the Romney family station wagon, and his visceral response to this torment.  Grrrr.  Clearly Canine Rights wouldn’t be a high priority in a Romney Administration.
Even worse is loathsome Christofascist pinhead Santorum, with his deranged and vile remarks about Man-On-Dog sex.  Woof!!  Years later, he perversely stands by his bizarre comments, and in spite of it being clear that most of the world would rather he kept his reflections on that particular subject to himself, he’s anxious to reiterate them at every opportunity.  It seems that as far as Santorum is concerned, a demented obsession with bestiality isn’t a bug, it’s a feature: then again, what better way to get a lock on the Christaliban Dogfucker vote?
It’s no wonder that the possibility of this repugnant bag of human scum becoming Leader of the Off-Leash World is a matter of such great canine concern.

She must have been lonely

…and wanted a visit from some of those hunky Secret Service dudes:

Hours after Pennsylvania State Police arrested a 21-year-old Idaho man for allegedly firing a semi-automatic rifle at the White House, the top student official for the College Republicans at the University of Texas tweeted that the idea of assassinating President Obama was “tempting.”

At 2:29 p.m. ET, UT’s Lauren E. Pierce wrote: “Y’all as tempting as it may be, don’t shoot Obama. We need him to go down in history as the WORST president we’ve EVER had! #2012.”

Pierce, the president of the College Republicans at UT Austin, told ABC News the comment was a “joke” and that the “whole [shooting incident] was stupid.” Giggling, she said that an attempted assassination would “only make the situation worse.

Republicans, it’s your dull-eyed, feeble-minded, slow-witted Future, giggling brainlessly over assassination jokes.

Hard as it might be to believe, there could well come a time when the gong show currently beclowning itself in the GOP presidential primaries actually looks good.

Cain Train derailed

From the “In What Will Come As No Surprise to Anyone” files, GOP presidential primary contender, pizzamonger and inveterate skirt-chaser extraordinaire Herman Cain has left the building:

Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain effectively ended his 2012 White House race on Saturday, saying “false and unproved” sexual accusations have made it impossible for him to carry on a credible campaign.

Cain’s conservative supporters will have to find a new home with voting to start next month in the race to determine the Republican’s presidential nominee for 2012.

999!  The number of boots to the ass he’s taken from Mrs. Cain this week.

Donald Trump still on TV, Contemplations of the Apocalypse

Arrgh.  I had planned on writing about something else, but this is bugging me. Short form: Donald Trump, still on TV, why?

I wonder if anyone else is as tired as I am of Donald Trump incessantly braying at them from their TV sets.  Even as I type this, he’s bellowing about something or other from the far corner of the room, and it grates: does anyone really like listening to this jerk?

The Sultan of Self-Promotion has been sucking up oxygen on National TV on a regular basis ever since he launched the byzantine political theatre he still refers to as his “presidential campaign“.

But it doesn’t matter what he called it, then or now, because most people suspect they know it for what it really was: a ruse and a sham, an elaborate hoax meant only to drum up publicity for Trump’s reality TV show.  He accomplished this goal primarily by breathing new life into the brainless “birther” conspiracy theory, and once that was done The Donald put his “campaign” to sleep and strolled away chortling to himself.  To make matters even more ridiculous, several members (though not all) of the Confederacy of Clowns known as the GOP primary slate have made the journey to Trump Tower, kneepads securely in place, to beg Trump and the weasel that dwells on his head for their endorsements.  This might explain why the media unfathomably continues to consult Trump as though he were a serious pundit rather than the political equivalent of a carnival barker.

It’s becoming depressingly clear that if anyone other than Ron Paul wins the nomination, for the next 12 months observers of US politics will witness a sideshow of unparalleled sleaze that rapidly spirals into madness, with the bellicose Trump and his equally aggressive Hair giving a feverish play-by-play punctuated by mindless screams of “Where’s the birth certificate!??”.

Can the Apocalypse be far behind?

Rick Perry’s brain fart at CNBC debate

“Dumber than Dubya” Rick Perry continued to fortify his reputation as the goofiest candidate on the GOP primary slate last night at the CNBC debate, when he was unable to remember the name of the third of three agencies he planned to cut as President.  Perry’s potentially campaign-killing brain fart:

Stalwart GOP supporters are anything but pleased:

I almost feel sorry for the poor guy.


Comment of the day

The laughfest known as “the Tea Party Republican Debate” continues apace.

Candidate Michelle Bachmann was in especially fine form last night, hinting darkly at horrible side effects from the cancer-preventative HPV vaccine; theories which have long since been debunked and dwell on the ragged edge of politics in the murky conspiratorial caverns that house ideas like Birther- and Trutherism.  But post-debate, Bachmann dug in her heels and doubled down on her absurd contention that the HPV vaccine might cause mental retardation.

Mrs. Bachmann said on NBC’s “Today” show on Tuesday that after Monday night’s debate in Tampa, Fla., a tearful mother approached her and said her daughter had suffered “mental retardation” after being vaccinated against HPV.

Across the ideological board, the judgement of the blogosphere and its commentariat was swift and terrible, and to some of us, delightful.  But the best comment I saw was at Hit & Run:

But hey wait not-so-fast: amusing as it may be, Bachmann’s scientific illiteracy doesn’t preclude her winning the nomination.  In that crowd, it’s not a bug, it’s a feature.


I realize this video clip of GOP contender Rick Perry at the candidates’ debate has already gone a bit viral, but it’s so creepy and sick and weird that I couldn’t resist posting it here.  (I only wish I had a pukeworthiness rating system so I could rate it as “Triple Projectile Pukeworthy”.)  On we go…

During the debate, the moderator refers to the state of Texas’ notorious death penalty body count, and when the number is named, the Republican audience bursts into excited applause — applause?  What?  Applesauce?  No, applause, as in “Come on people!  Let’s Give It Up for the Grim Reaper!”.  Though “applesauce” would make about as much sense:

How very odd to see all those presumably “pro-life”, “small government” conservatives jizzing their pants over the idea of state-sanctioned murder.  It was somewhat less surprising to hear that the CEO of Texas hasn’t lost any more Beauty Sleep over deciding who takes the Stainless Steel Ride than he has over where to build bridges and which 4H pancake breakfasts to attend.  If Perry presided over the execution of an innocent man, as many suspect, why would the execution of guilty ones bother him?

The governor has been criticized for replacing members of the Texas Forensic Science Commission just before they were to review a new report critical of the arson science used to convict Willingham. If the evidence ultimately proves Willingham did not kill his children, it would be the first known wrongful execution in Texas.

Wrapping it up was as good an example of Total Sycophantic Media Fail as I’ve ever seen:  after Perry’s response that he wasn’t struggling with lost sleep over executions, how could the debate moderator not ask the follow-up question, “Even Todd Willingham’s?”

(h/t: Dr.Dawg)

Hard-Earned Obscurity vs Panting for Palin

In another post, commenter Terrence links to a demented little screechfest from semi-lucid bigotblogger Pamela Geller.  For the fortunately uninitiated, Geller is one of those turds who’s achieved minor notoriety in the fetid corner of Internetland labeled “POLITICAL BLOGGERS” with a routine that she’s been flogging like a pack mule for years: The Voice in the Wilderness Sounding The Alarm About Creeping Sharia.  No surprise then to see her making the case that Rick Perry, GOP presidential primary contender and would-be Fed Chairman shitkicker, is actually a “stealth jihadi”.  Why not?  She probably feels the same way about 93% of the population.  (When all you’ve got is a hammer, everything looks like… JIHAD!)

Geller’s agenda became a little more clear when she pivoted from her dire revelations about Perry to relate something else she read in the pile of entrails she was fondling: Americans will soon be “panting” for a President Sarah Palin.  (“Panting”, no less.)

To be sure, some Americans have never stopped Panting for Palin (or Pulling for Palin, or Playing Pocket Pinball for Palin), but they’re fast becoming an endangered species.   Sadly, it’s not that they’ve finally realized they were being played all this time:  it’s just that the Next Generation of Dumb has taken over.

Just look at the motley crew that makes up the GOP’s presidential field, if you dare.  The aforementioned obnoxious cretin Perry. The beady-eyed homophobe Santorum (anxious to prove that he’s more than just a pretty frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter).  Fundamentalist Psycho Michele Bachmann, and her Completely Heterosexual husband.  Mitt Romney, Dog Torturer, who’s too close to normal to do well in this particular political environment.

Those among the Incredible Shrinking Political Entity known as “Sane Republicans” stand aside with eyes widening in horror as they watch history inexorably repeating itself.  Writing in The Week yesterday, former Bush speechwriter David Frum (now considered a flaming, flaccid,  limp-wristed, latte-sucking liberal by many in the atavistic fever swamps of tea party politics) appealed to the GOP to smarten up and learn something from the Palin Experience.  With palpable relief, he predicted that not only will Palin be a non-entity in the next election whether she enters the primary or not, but she will soon fade into “hard-earned obscurity”.  Predictably, comments with the article castigated Frum for “misogyny” — something these people were completely unaware of before Palin was added to the ticket in 2008.  And as Frum points out:

What Ziegler said out loud, millions of American women discerned for themselves: Here was a woman candidate chosen by men who do not respect women.

But Frum’s the misogynist.  Spot the irony!

Palin’s future is anyone’s guess.  She’s been milking the upcoming election for all it’s worth, making coy allusions about entering the race to re-ignite interest in her.  But if she was serious the rubber should have hit the road awhile ago, and all but her most deranged fans know that.

I doubt Palin will fade away as Frum would like.  After all, she’s still intriguing enough that people continue talking about her, even if it’s just as an example of what’s wrong with US politics.  And hey, there’s another presidential election in 2016.

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