The ultimate blogging tool

Or maybe that should be “tool for blogging”, to avoid any confusion between these blogging tools and this (tool for blogging).

You know you want it: save time, keystrokes and blood pressure and prevent wingnut-driven thread drift with the Stageleft Moral Capital Accumulator!

Bill Donohue, call your office

This ice cream ad has 31 flavours of anti-Catholic blasphemy!!!:

But no need for the Catholic League to get excited — it’s from the UK, where the ad is already being investigated by an advertising standards agency to determine if it violates blasphemy standards (blasphemy standards??).

It could be worse… the nun could be an altar boy.

(via Adfreak)

Lost in the translation

“Fun which you need to lubricate”?  Um err yeah, okay.

Maybe the ad agency should have hired a human translator instead of relying on Systran to adapt this Chinese Durex ad:

I would have used

“A rusty screw will never do — Pamper your pubes with Durex Lubed”.

(from ad of da month)

Colouring book for CPC MPs

Especially science ministers…

Sorry

Hehehe — oh.  I’m sorry…

HAHAHAHAHAH–*ahem*- Oops.  Sorry.  I’m really sorry…

HAHAHAHAHAHA– *cough* — I’m so sorry.  Really really sorry.

I mean that.  Really.

(vid swiped from James Bowie, graphic by the one & only  wingnuterer)

Online lexicon just got a little bit better

First there was “santorum“, named for the former Republican Senator.

Now there’s a new word making the rounds that originates with Pastor Rick Warren’s Saddleback Church — “saddlebacking“.

I was wondering how long it would be before someone came up with something like that… I mean, “saddleback”?   That’s just too tempting in so many ways.

(from pharyngula)

I wanted to entitle this blogpost “Catholic priests molest little boys”…

… but instead I’ll write about SUZANNE’s post about stereotypes.

SUZANNE wants to complain that “Jews run Hollywood”, but she’s afraid to make “Jews run Hollywood” the title of her post in case she loses her exotic ’92 Dodge Caravan to Canada’s jackbooted Human Rights Fascists:

Say what?

I am perfectly okay with Jews running Hollywood. I just wish they were more conservative.

Uh, SUZANNE. If you’re perfectly okay with “Jews running Hollywood”, you just wish they were more conservative, then your problem isn’t with Jews, it’s with liberals. So why would you want to entitle your post “Jews run Hollywood”? (Not that you’re alone in that opinion: these guys seem to be onside with you.)

Oy vey, the meshuggenah! It burns! !!!איזה מטורף בחורה

More “heh” (bad taste alert)

From the world of unfortunate headlines, this was found today on Bloomberg:

That reminds me of those collections of “unfortunately-placed ads“, which having been in the ad placement business myself, I find irresistible! Here’s a few that made me “LOL”, and before anyone gets all bent out of shape, I did post a Bad Taste Alert. Forewarned is forearmed! Let’s boogie!

This is excellent accidental billboard positioning, I actually would have done this one purposely myself:

The problem with buying advertising space in time-sensitive news media is that you never know what the News will be. Many a time I had to race to get ads for McDonalds pulled from the newspaper when it looked like they’d be running adjacent to an item screaming about some horrible new Health Canada report on fast food and heart attacks. Here are a couple of examples of similarly disastrous situations from the online media:

And last but not least, bus boards. This speaks for itself. Not the wheel wells! Anywhere but beside the wheel wells!

Is this in bad taste? Damn well better be! HAHAHAHAHA!

What happens in Nobby’s Beach

… stays in Nobby’s Beach. We hope:

A man caught near Nobbys Beach with his penis in a pasta sauce jar led police on a 20 kmh car chase, Newcastle Local Court heard yesterday.

Police drew their weapons when they suspected Keith Roy Weatherley, 46, was armed.

Instead, they found him partially clothed with his genitals in a jar, a police statement said.

Weatherley, of Promontory Way, North Arm Cove, attracted attention parked in a no-stopping zone before noon on October 26.

Police believed Weatherley was doing something with his hands in his lap and thought that he might have a weapon.

Weatherley saw the police and drove away, despite them flashing their lights.

The chase lasted five to 10 minutes, with a top speed of just 20 kmh, before Weatherley was stopped at Centenary Drive, Newcastle. He refused to leave the car.

Four officers used batons and capsicum spray to remove him.

They found a 750-millilitre jar around his penis and noted that Weatherley attempted to continue “pleasuring himself in between bouts of wrestling”.

A search of his car uncovered pornography, a home-made sex aid, women’s stockings and a Jack Russell terrier.

Too bad this dude’s not American, he has all the right stuff for some high office in the Republican Party. Or even more likely, Focus On The Family.   (Nobby’s Beach?  HAHAHAHAHA!)

(via dependable renegade)