Posts Tagged 'rick perry'

Rick Perry’s brain fart at CNBC debate

“Dumber than Dubya” Rick Perry continued to fortify his reputation as the goofiest candidate on the GOP primary slate last night at the CNBC debate, when he was unable to remember the name of the third of three agencies he planned to cut as President.  Perry’s potentially campaign-killing brain fart:

Stalwart GOP supporters are anything but pleased:

I almost feel sorry for the poor guy.

Almost.  HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Sicksicksick

I realize this video clip of GOP contender Rick Perry at the candidates’ debate has already gone a bit viral, but it’s so creepy and sick and weird that I couldn’t resist posting it here.  (I only wish I had a pukeworthiness rating system so I could rate it as “Triple Projectile Pukeworthy”.)  On we go…

During the debate, the moderator refers to the state of Texas’ notorious death penalty body count, and when the number is named, the Republican audience bursts into excited applause — applause?  What?  Applesauce?  No, applause, as in “Come on people!  Let’s Give It Up for the Grim Reaper!”.  Though “applesauce” would make about as much sense:

How very odd to see all those presumably “pro-life”, “small government” conservatives jizzing their pants over the idea of state-sanctioned murder.  It was somewhat less surprising to hear that the CEO of Texas hasn’t lost any more Beauty Sleep over deciding who takes the Stainless Steel Ride than he has over where to build bridges and which 4H pancake breakfasts to attend.  If Perry presided over the execution of an innocent man, as many suspect, why would the execution of guilty ones bother him?

The governor has been criticized for replacing members of the Texas Forensic Science Commission just before they were to review a new report critical of the arson science used to convict Willingham. If the evidence ultimately proves Willingham did not kill his children, it would be the first known wrongful execution in Texas.

Wrapping it up was as good an example of Total Sycophantic Media Fail as I’ve ever seen:  after Perry’s response that he wasn’t struggling with lost sleep over executions, how could the debate moderator not ask the follow-up question, “Even Todd Willingham’s?”

(h/t: Dr.Dawg)

Scary Perry

The feverish madness of USian politics continues apace, entertaining as usual.

If you thought the GOP couldn’t possibly come up with a goofier presidential candidate than CrazyEyes, you’d be wrong.  This past weekend their collective delirium spiraled even further out of control when Texas Governor Rick “Goodhair” Perry threw his 10-gallon hat in the ring, raising the Batshit Index to a level usually confined to the dank subterranean homes of small winged rodents.  Perry is a guy who happily cavorts with fundamentalist whackjobs whose madness is so vile and virulent that other Republican candidates have been forced to reject their endorsements.

Governor Goodhair joins the race

A late entry to the race, Perry clearly felt there was no time to fuck around so he got right to the point.  Which was?  The Point was to establish Perry’s own snout as the most rightward of all the right-wing noses pressed against America’s tea-and-snot-smeared Overton Window.  In an effort to  authenticate his teabagger cred, Perry immediately launched into a deranged attack on one of the Tea Party’s favourite targets, George W Bush-appointed Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke:

“If this guy prints more money between now and the election, I dunno what y’all would do to him in Iowa but we would treat him pretty ugly down in Texas. Printing more money to play politics at this particular time in American history is almost treasonous – or treasonous in my opinion,” said Perry.

“Treat him pretty ugly”.  Hm.  Perry didn’t specify what kind of rude ugliness might await Bernanke in the Lone Star state, but if we use History as our guide, it’s not hard to imagine.  Yee-haw.  Welcome to Texas.

Perry claims to despise the Fed and the printing presses they run at top speed whenever the constipated American economy needs a laxative to help it crap out a few more burger-flipper jobs.  While this supposedly bothers Perry, oddly enough, it doesn’t seem to faze that snakepit of frenzied avarice known as “the Stock Market” — in fact, the stock market seems to like the idea of the economy getting an infusion of increasingly-worthless currency.  During a Q&A with Congress in July, Bernanke vaguely alluded to the possibility that the “treasonous” money machines might be fired up again if the economy continued on its current trajectory.  A previously lacklustre stock market responded to Bernanke’s remarks with a euphoric rebound that spiraled all the way to the closing bell...

Dow, July 12-14

…and then tumbled the next day when he walked his remarks back.  One wonders: Why does Rick Perry hate Capitalism?

I keed, I keed.  But it’s not all rainbows and teabags and hillbilly heroin psychosis and Getting Ugly with Ben.  Perry’s been taking some understandable flack for his remarks, even from other Republicans.  But he’s dug in his heels and stands by his weird little rant, which pretty much makes him Not Ready For Prime Time. Establishment Republicans must be downing aspirin by the gross at the appearance of yet another of their candidates that has to be Stopped.  There’s already a campaign underway to “Stop Bachmann!” — will they have enough gas left in the tank to “Stop Perry!” too?

And then there’s this potential skeleton pounding on the closet door, courtesy of Google:Gee, I told myself that if I started blogging again I wouldn’t pay so much attention to USian politics — after all, it’s been a while since I’ve seen a post about Stephen Harper on Daily Kos.  (“A while” as in “never”.)  But the way things are going, I don’t know if it’ll be possible…

Palin to campaign for like-minded dingbats

palin-708690Freed from the demands of the workaday world and all too aware that Idle Hands are Satan’s Sweatshop,  Quitter-In-Chief Sarah Palin is anxious to put her time to good use and hit the Campaign Trail for GOP candidates… and Democrats… and anyone else who’s not particularly  interested in  winning:

Brushing aside the criticisms of pundits and politicos, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin said she plans to jump immediately back into the national political fray — stumping for conservative issues and even Democrats — after she prematurely vacates her elected post at month’s end.

The former Republican vice-presidential nominee and heroine to much of the GOP’s base said in an interview she views the electorate as embattled and fatigued by nonstop partisanship, and she is eager to campaign for Republicans, independents and even Democrats who share her values on limited government, strong defense and “energy independence.”

“I will go around the country on behalf of candidates who believe in the right things, regardless of their party label or affiliation,” she said over lunch in her downtown office…

But surprise, surprise!  Where are all these Dems who want to crank up their campaigns with some SaWahPower?  If there are any, none have come forward with this politically-suicidal admission.    And frankly, there aren’t many GOP takers either:

Mrs. Palin did not name any candidates for whom she might campaign. Indeed, whether the polarizing Alaskan would be welcome on the campaign circuit is an open question. Republicans running in statewide races in Virginia and New Jersey – the only states with gubernatorial races in November – have offered only lukewarm responses when asked whether Mrs. Palin is welcome to campaign there.

Meanies!  But never mind that — in deepest, darkest, reddest Texas, where men are men, sheep are nervous, and “science is only true” for socialist fucksticks, creationist crackpot Governor Rick Perry (who keeps trying to sneak creationism into schools by making idiot plays like this and getting smacked down like that), will soon face challenger Kay Bailey Hutchison, a moderate Republican, in the gubernatorial primaries.  Not surprisingly, the hyperdelusional Perry is ecstatic about the idea of the Palin Rolling Roadshow & Word Salad Spinner helping him get a lock on the all-important Shrieking Imbecile Vote.  And why not?  Palin and Perry are two nuts off the same goofy tree.  But best of all, there are rumours that this endorsement could lead to the Democrats being gifted in 2012 with… a Perry/Palin GOP ticket!!

Could the Dems be so lucky?


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