REAL Women crackpot fails at math

churchladyIn the wake of the pearl-clutching outrage that sent social conservatives swooning when they discovered that Pride Toronto received $400,000 in support from the government’s Marquee Tourism Events Program, after arising from their fainting couches some were inspired to write scolding, spittle-flecked missives to Fat Stevie.  One of these came from amid the ruffles and gingham in the kitchen of the national president of R (Ridiculous!) E (Empty-headed!) A (Addlepates!) L (for Lunacy!) Women, Cecilia Forsyth.

In a letter reprinted by the Canada Family Action Coalition, Forsyth disputed the fact that the funding is simply smart investment spending, since the days-long Pride event attracts such great numbers (many of them tourists) that it pours millions back into the local economy.  Cynthia shrieks:

To argue that this grant has an economic and tourism benefit is to naively accept the homosexual propaganda that over a million individuals actually attend the event. This is not possible because, if this figure were correct, the crowds would have had to be 80 deep along the 3.1 kilometer parade route. This is an absurdity. The crowd density was, on average 4-6 people deep and the total number of people can be generously set, at most, at approximately 154,000 persons: far fewer than attend Toronto’s annual Caribana Parade each August. It is also highly questionable that the “celebrations” that week contribute millions to the economy, as alleged, as this figure again appears to be part of the air of unreality surrounding the event.

Poor Cynthia.  Stupid Cynthia.  Poor, stupid, brainless, bigoted Cynthia.

Cynthia seems to think a snapshot of the parade crowd is equal to the cumulative number who attend the Pride event over several days.  She doesn’t  realize that there’s something known to the crowd estimate cognoscenti as “turnover” (ooh sounds perverted, shriek! faint! etc.) — the people who were hedonistically partying it up in the streets at noon probably aren’t the same ones who were there at 3pm — and that there’s a lot more to Pride than just the parades.  Judging by how anxious corporate sponsors are to pay big bucks for representation at Pride, it goes without saying that they must be getting something back out of it.

Math is fuckin’ hard, eh Barbie?

AFTERWORD: Cynthia will no doubt be pleased to see that her gang of jabbering socon gerbils managed to bully Fat Steve into rejecting the funding for another economy-stimulating event.  (Ya think it’s something about the word “stimulating” that gets them all torqued up?)

10 Responses to “REAL Women crackpot fails at math”


  1. 1 J. A. Baker Wednesday, July 22, 2009 at 11:44 am

    <Cecilia Forsyth>And just WHO invented Math, huh? Could it beeeee…SSSSSSSSSSSSSATAN?!</Cecilia Forsyth>

  2. 2 Torontonian Wednesday, July 22, 2009 at 11:55 am

    She’s using the same maths formula that Coren has used
    in previous years. She talks about people being 4 to
    6 persons deep but doesn’t know that the barricades
    extend into the street meaning that the parade does
    not occupy the full width of Yonge Street.

    Maybe she’s had a brain lesion brought on my
    accidentally inhaling too much spray starch while
    ironing her blouses.

    ——-
    Ya think it’s something about the word “stimulating” that gets them all torqued up?

    ——-

    I should imagine so, particularly if one hasn’t had a
    daily Cartland or Harlequin fix.

  3. 3 Bruce Wednesday, July 22, 2009 at 6:28 pm

    Must be that new math they talked about when I was in school.

    Speaking of math: The $400,000 Pride Toronto received is based on 20% of their budget, which would put the budget at only 2 million. All things considered, they deliver a pretty huge bang for two bucks a head, somewhere around $80 million for the local economy.

  4. 4 JJ Wednesday, July 22, 2009 at 6:56 pm

    JAB – Didn’t Arabs invent math?

  5. 5 JJ Wednesday, July 22, 2009 at 6:59 pm

    Torontonian – I love how these people try to justify their bigotry by saying “Oh, well, those crowd numbers couldn’t possibly be right” and to prove their point they try to give some stupid analysis that totally disproves their point. Duh! These people are so fucking stupid!!

  6. 6 JJ Wednesday, July 22, 2009 at 7:06 pm

    Bruce – $80 million 😯 Not such a shocker though, when you consider it’s a tourist destination — Toronto has one of the 3 biggest pride events in the world. Not a bad return on investment, and obviously participating corporate entities recognize this too or they wouldn’t be in it. It’s strictly a dollars and cents decision for them.

  7. 7 J. A. Baker Wednesday, July 22, 2009 at 7:35 pm

    JAB – Didn’t Arabs invent math?

    They invented algebra, for sure. But I think math as a general concept came earlier. Wiki says the ancient Babylonians (among others) invented math.

    But that’s not the point. I was kind of riffing off of that picture of the Church Lady – putting her mannerisms into the mouth of Cecilia Forsyth, as it were.

  8. 8 Frank Frink Thursday, July 23, 2009 at 2:06 am

    “Babylonians (among others) invented math.”

    Babylonians!? Why that’s IRAQ!!!

  9. 9 JJ Thursday, July 23, 2009 at 8:28 am

    JAB – Oh I know, my mind was wandering 😛 I was just thinking maybe that’s why they don’t like math… it’s brown 😯


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