Blame Kitteh

I’ve heard of blaming the dog when you fart, but this is a new one on me:

Florida law enforcement agents have charged 48-year-old Keith R. Griffin (shown at left) with 10 counts of possession of child pornography after a detective found over a thousand such images on his computer.

In his defense, Mr. Griffin told detectives “he would leave his computer on and his cat would jump on the keyboard. And when he returned there will be strange material downloaded.”

Sure, dude.  I’d say “nice try”, but it doesn’t even really qualify as a “try”, let alone a “nice” one.

Parody Motivator Generator_1249690644280

16 Responses to “Blame Kitteh”

  1. 1 Torontonian Friday, August 7, 2009 at 10:08 pm

    It reminds me of the 100 monkeys at typewriters in a room and Shakespeare. Nobody should buy that weak-ass argument.

  2. 2 mouthyorange Saturday, August 8, 2009 at 1:42 am

    I don’t know how anybody can say the dog farted when they did. Human fart is less tolerable.

    ‘Course, maybe I just like dogs better than people.

  3. 3 Chet Scoville Saturday, August 8, 2009 at 1:47 pm

    Well, points for originality, I guess.

  4. 4 JJ Saturday, August 8, 2009 at 4:12 pm

    Torontonian – Desperate times call for desperate measures, I guess. He’s really reaching with that one, though

  5. 5 JJ Saturday, August 8, 2009 at 4:15 pm

    orange – Not my dog, her farts can clear the room. And the horrible thing is that their usually silent.

    Haha, I remember the first time my old dog Loki farted, when he was about a year old. He was sitting there and there was a *poot* sound and he sat up straight and looked around behind him like “WTF??” 😆

  6. 6 JJ Saturday, August 8, 2009 at 4:19 pm

    Chet – LOL, he’s really pushing the bounds of believability with this one, though.

  7. 7 Reality Bites Saturday, August 8, 2009 at 6:09 pm

    If it was you (not any “you” in particular) wouldn’t you try for something slightly more believeable like hackers or a trojan/virus?

    However, even if the cat story was true, if you find strange material downloaded on your computer and it’s illegal, wouldn’t you like, delete it?

    I’ve clicked the wrong link in a spam email once or twice in my life and found myself looking at things I wouldn’t have chosen to look at. I don’t remember offhand if I’ve clicked on anything illegal, but definitely on things I find gross. Guess what I did? I DELETED the email!

    While we’re on the subject, I find myself receiving numerous spams promising what might be called “barnyard action.” Can there REALLY be enough people into this that it’s worth spamming strangers for?

  8. 8 JJ Saturday, August 8, 2009 at 6:32 pm

    RB – You know the old rule of thumb: If it exists, there’s porn of it. 😆

  9. 9 mouthyorange Sunday, August 9, 2009 at 2:56 am

    The use of animals sexually is such a terrible form of abuse.

    I hate people (the human race) sometimes.

    Anyway, JJ, it’s not natural for dogs to fart often or that it should stink, except for a very occasional instance when the dog has eaten something unusual. Yet it happens so often that we widely accept it as normal, as just something dogs do.

    It’s nearly always caused by disturbance in the digestive flora, and means that something about the diet is not right for the dog. For example, a great many dogs can’t handle eating beef or grains of any kind or chicken, to name three common foods they can be sensitive to. Brewers yeast is another. Processed pet food nearly always contains grains, and it frequently contains products derived from beef or chicken, and sometimes also brewers yeast. People often include these ingredients when they make up raw diets from scratch, too. Problems with gas can also signal chronic disturbance, such as the kind of bacterial imbalance caused by antibiotics. So many of us knowingly or unknowingly feed our dogs ingredients they can’t handle well, and so many dogs have been treated with antibiotics for one thing or another, and so many dogs now have digestive problems that we dog lovers make all kinds of jokes about it. Sometimes it leads to a tragic end. I’ve heard of a couple of people asking the vet to euthanize a dog because it farts too much. Like I said earlier about people. 😦

    It’s not natural for dogs to have bad breath, either. Not at all. Their breath is naturally sweet and lovely. It’s true! Just ask Ceiling Cat.

    Getting off my soapbox for now …

  10. 10 Reality Bites Sunday, August 9, 2009 at 5:56 am

    I know the rule, JJ, but I think it’s also true that the more specialized the subset of the sexual spectrum, the more likely its afficionados are to find it themselves.

    To judge by my porn spam, sex with with animals is more popular than gay (male) sex or bondage, and I somehow doubt that is true.

  11. 11 JJ Sunday, August 9, 2009 at 8:02 am

    orange – Euthanize a dog because it farts too much!!??? 😯 😥 Why don’t they just try feeding it something that agrees with it? My dogs only fart when they eat something weird, like roadkill, or even human food (which doesn’t happen often).

    People suck sometimes. Some people really must think dogs are just an accessory, when they’re really family members (or should be).

    That’s so true about dog breath — they almost always have sweet breath because their mouths are clean (way cleaner than ours). Their saliva even has antiseptic properties.

  12. 12 JJ Sunday, August 9, 2009 at 8:06 am

    RB – Good point, you wouldn’t think there’d be so much of it. Makes you wonder who these people are that enjoy that kind of thing… freaks like Mr.Socon come to mind…

  13. 13 mouthyorange Sunday, August 9, 2009 at 9:02 am

    JJ – So glad to hear your dogs don’t have chronic problems! Sorry if I seemed to be making that assumption — I know so many people with dogs who have chronic digestive or other problems related to wrong diet that I probably do tend to assume it. Anyway, it gave me an excuse to get onto my soapbox for a bit.

    I tend to think that people who think their dogs or cats are accessories probably think their kids and their mates are, too, when you come right down to it. I figure either people can connect by the heart, or they can’t. Harsh? Yeah. But when it comes to animals and they way they’re treated, I can feel very harsh about some human behaviour.

    Hope I’m making sense. I’m kinda off my form today.

  14. 14 Bina Sunday, August 9, 2009 at 2:26 pm

    Ceiling Cat was watching him masturbate, I guess.

  15. 15 JJ Sunday, August 9, 2009 at 8:08 pm

    orange – That makes perfect sense to me — don’t worry, I’m off my game today too, waaayyyy off 😉

  16. 16 JJ Sunday, August 9, 2009 at 8:08 pm

    Bina – Oh, the things Ceiling Cat has to see…

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