Rush: Obama is coming for your wang!

Is El-Rushbo back on the drugs again?  I only ask because his paranoia seems to be  spiraling out of control lately.

This week, laying the groundwork for what will almost certainly become the next feverish wingnut meme, Rush! insinuated to his credulous listeners that Obama is after their Manly Conservative Appurtenances, starting with Little Rush and working his way through the trailer parks of Dittohead America with a pair of rusty pruning shears in his hand and a malevolent grin on his face.

Blithering about a rap song that mentions his name and the word “balls” in the same verse, with a CDC statement about circumcision as a preventative measure against HIV weighing heavy on his mind, Rush! deployed this blast of hyperbole on Tuesday:

“I have been mentioned in a … rap song,” intoned Rush Limbaugh on his radio show today, saying “rap” as if the musical genre might transmit syphilis.

After expressing astonishment at the strange turn of events, Limbaugh played a clip of a Jay-Z song that calls on Limbaugh to “get off his balls.”  Limbaugh then fact-checked and refuted the main premise of song, politely reminding Jay-Z about who plans to do what to the nation’s genitals.

“I would remind the rapper Jay Z;  Mr. Z, it is President Obama who wants mandated circumcision. We had that yesterday. That means if we need to save our penises from anybody, it’s Obama. I did not know I was on anybody’s balls.”

Rush! ought not to be worried:  his penile unit will probably wither and fall off, rotten and riddled with STDs (Sex Tourist Diseases), long before Obama can get at it with his Satanic Scissors of Socialism.

18 Responses to “Rush: Obama is coming for your wang!”


  1. 1 deBeauxOs Thursday, August 27, 2009 at 8:32 am

    Oh, snap!

    Satanic Scissors of Socialism. Good one.

  2. 2 Cornelius T.Zen Thursday, August 27, 2009 at 8:33 am

    Good morrow, all!
    Oh, please, when was the last time Rush Limbaugh actually SAW his balls? How does he know they are still there? I think he lost sight of his feet in 1992.
    Talk about penis envy! – CTZen

  3. 3 JJ Thursday, August 27, 2009 at 8:40 am

    deBeauxOs – When they get worn out he uses his Hedgeclippers of Communism or his Pruning Shears of the Proletariat.

  4. 4 JJ Thursday, August 27, 2009 at 8:44 am

    CTZen – Good point — Rush probably has to use a clever combination of mirrors to view his Manly Protuberance… at least it’s got a lot of hiding places in all that blubber, so Obama can’t get at it with his Accursed Clippers of Collectivism.

  5. 5 J. A. Baker Thursday, August 27, 2009 at 8:45 am

    JJ,

    It’s called projection. Remember that Rush has been an enabler of the Birthers Length and Girthers for some time now.

    It’s how he rolls. (Like Jabba the Hut!)

  6. 6 JJ Thursday, August 27, 2009 at 8:53 am

    JAB – How he “rolls” 😯 and bounces Ewwwwwww

  7. 7 Torontonian Thursday, August 27, 2009 at 1:20 pm

    If Limbaugh is worried about this circumcision thing, then maybe he’d better worry that they don’t cut out the tongues
    of liars and hate spreaders.

    He’d be on the top of that list, for sure.

  8. 8 JJ Thursday, August 27, 2009 at 6:31 pm

    Torontonian – Him and Beck are already on something else… Obama’s Secret Army. (Armed with rusty hedge clippers, coming soon to a monster truck rally near you!)

    It’s an “organ”!! 😆

  9. 9 J. A. Baker Friday, August 28, 2009 at 11:37 am

    JJ – The Secret Army™ made Glenn Beck misspell “oligarchy”

  10. 10 JJ Friday, August 28, 2009 at 11:44 am

    JAB – OMFG, “oligarh” 🙄

    ETA – Jeezis, I just watched it. “There’s one letter missing: Y!!!”
    He doesn’t even know there’s a C missing?
    OMFG.

  11. 11 J. A. Baker Friday, August 28, 2009 at 11:52 am

    Maybe it was “Talk Like A Pirate Day” at Fux Spews.

    OligARRRRRRRRRRGH! 😆 😆 😆 😆

  12. 12 JJ Friday, August 28, 2009 at 12:54 pm

    Talk like a Pirate Day? 😆 😆 😆 Yaarrrrrgggh!

  13. 13 J. A. Baker Friday, August 28, 2009 at 2:58 pm

    Speaking of which, I wonder if Keith Olbermann is going to find some way to have Rupert Murdoch in one of the Worst Person slots on Talk Like A Pirate Day this year.

  14. 14 JJ Friday, August 28, 2009 at 4:19 pm

    Does he talk like a pirate??

  15. 15 J. A. Baker Friday, August 28, 2009 at 4:22 pm

    Only when talking about Rupert Murdoch.

  16. 16 Frank Frink Friday, August 28, 2009 at 7:54 pm

    Beck’s Spelling Bee For Birthers!

  17. 17 J. A. Baker Saturday, August 29, 2009 at 9:31 am

    Well, dang. I just figured out that Talk Like A Pirate Day falls on a Saturday this year. So unless Keith does it on the Friday before, he won’t be able to commemorate TLAPD by working Rupert Murdoch into the WPITW segment.

  18. 18 JJ Saturday, August 29, 2009 at 1:07 pm

    Damn. Not next year either, since this isn’t a leap year. Oh well, maybe in 2011!


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