Sex Degrees of Separation

Based on the idea that when you have sex, you’re not only getting it on with your partner but with all your partner’s partners, this “Sex Degrees of Separation” calculator is supposed to calculate the real number of sex partners you’ve had:

Lloyds Pharmacy - Sex Degrees of Separation Calculator_1254086887070

Go ahead and try it, but it might not work — I think I broke it:

Lloyds Pharmacy - Sex Degrees of Separation Calculator_1254086769278Come on, it was the 70s.

37 Responses to “Sex Degrees of Separation”


  1. 1 Raphael Alexander Sunday, September 27, 2009 at 2:46 pm

    What a total scam. There isn’t a chance on God’s Earth that those numbers are even remotely correct. Even if you put in 1 sexual partner you get a result of 167,347 partners based on age alone.

  2. 2 JJ Sunday, September 27, 2009 at 3:19 pm

    So you broke it too, eh? Naughty naughty

  3. 3 Cornelius T.Zen Sunday, September 27, 2009 at 5:23 pm

    Good morrow, all!
    Actually, you have had sex with everyone who has had sex with every one of your partners, and their partners, and on and on.
    Which is why STD’s are so easily promulgated.
    Talk about networking! – CTZen

  4. 4 Michelle Bell Sunday, September 27, 2009 at 5:38 pm

    I am sadly uninteresting. I apparently need to get busy.

  5. 5 Bruce Sunday, September 27, 2009 at 6:43 pm

    Whoever wrote the program for that thing must be 21 and had three partners and assumes everyone is the same. I broke it too, I got the same result as you JJ and I’m pretty sure I’ve had a few more than you, their selections don’t even come close.

  6. 6 Mark from Slap Sunday, September 27, 2009 at 7:08 pm

    Gee, that made me look downright slutty.

    I’m amused that this survey expects people to enter the ages of everyone that they’ve had sex with, one-by-one. It’s like doing back taxes. “Hmmm… What were my business expenses in April ’04, again?”

  7. 7 JJ Sunday, September 27, 2009 at 7:33 pm

    CTZen

    Which is why STD’s are so easily promulgated.
    Talk about networking!

    Well that’s the thing. If we knew then what we know now 😯 I think a few of us older folks really dodged a bullet.

  8. 8 JJ Sunday, September 27, 2009 at 7:38 pm

    Michelle – I don’t know, it gets pretty time consuming.

  9. 9 JJ Sunday, September 27, 2009 at 7:39 pm

    Bruce – Oh yeah? You wanna have a slut-race, big boy? πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜›

  10. 10 JJ Sunday, September 27, 2009 at 7:42 pm

    Mark – It’s pretty bad! πŸ˜† I actually found it on a fundie site 😯 and since it refused to give me any results, I read theirs. They were all freaking right out — “OMG I’ve had 6,000 sex partners!” — and blaming their husbands/wives πŸ™„

  11. 11 Bruce Sunday, September 27, 2009 at 8:36 pm

    I don’t wanna brag (heh), but back in my Charlie Harper days, when I was cute and knew I could get it, there was a point I reached where I thought it would be a good idea to check the numbers.

    So after I drove home from the some guy I did I sat down at the kitchen table and did the math because I don’t have that many fingers and toes.

    I had a full time job and there are only so many hours in a day, but based on the number of times I went out each week, and the dudes I did when I went out, the official number came back at 264 guys a year over an average of three years.

    What can I say? Men are always on and I took advantage of it, and the amazing this I’m still alive to talk about it. But I can’t really pass myself off as any kind of paragon of virtue.

    Beat that honey πŸ™‚

  12. 12 Dead Men Sunday, September 27, 2009 at 8:38 pm

    Those kind of numbers have me thinking – maybe that’s why the Religious hate queers.

    They don’t get laid anywhere NEAR enough.

  13. 13 Bruce Sunday, September 27, 2009 at 8:51 pm

    Of course that’s why the religious hate queers, we don’t follow the same rules. We don’t have some bitter old closet case telling us what to do with our sexuality.

  14. 14 JJ Sunday, September 27, 2009 at 9:26 pm

    Bruce

    Beat that honey

    D’oh! 😯 You win! πŸ˜† What a bad boy you are!! πŸ˜‰

  15. 15 JJ Sunday, September 27, 2009 at 9:32 pm

    DM

    maybe that’s why the Religious hate queers.

    Of course it is. It infuriates them to think there are people who don’t live by “the rules”, while they have to. Seriously, some of their blogs are hilarious — the pent-up frustration is so thick it almost oozes out of the monitor.

  16. 16 Bruce Sunday, September 27, 2009 at 9:32 pm

    Well, actually I was told I was pretty good πŸ™‚

  17. 17 mouthyorange Monday, September 28, 2009 at 2:34 am

    “I think a few of us older folks really dodged a bullet.”

    Yep! That’s for sure.

  18. 18 Frank Frink Monday, September 28, 2009 at 3:10 am

    I really have no idea how old some… ok, more than few of them were when I last slept with them.

    What? I’m a gentleman and a gentleman never asks a woman’s age. πŸ˜‰

    (I’m pretty much in JJ’s and Bruce’s age bracket, so you do the math πŸ˜‰ )

  19. 19 Shade Monday, September 28, 2009 at 3:27 am

    First time here but I think this calculation thing is kind of suspect. It kind of assumes everyone involved in gay sex sleeps with alot more people and I’m sure in some cases that’s true.

    Then again it has no chance of calculating mine I probably fall under the exception. I met my boyfrien at 18, we’re both 21 now and we were virgins when we met. So… 25,336? More like 1.

    It was only like 7000 if my boyfriend had been a girl though, strangely. Frankly I’ve met women who’ve slept with more men then I ever would.

  20. 20 harpervalley Monday, September 28, 2009 at 5:34 am

    i guess i’m a puritan prude or something as i only racked up 94,999.

  21. 21 RealityBites Monday, September 28, 2009 at 6:47 am

    It’s quite heterosexist – if you’re not 100% heterosexual you have to check off the sex of everyone you’ve been with – and it defaults to opposite sex.

    On a tangentally related note, I read an article in the local gay magazine about a site where they re-post men’s personal ad photos… and critique the decor in the room where they were taken.

    It’s http://www.luriddigs.com and it is very, very, NSFW.

  22. 22 psa Monday, September 28, 2009 at 8:24 am

    Um Shade, apparently two is 100% more partners than you ever have (let’s ;leave ever would in the speculative lol). Your numbers only climb from there. Considering what trollops JJ and Bruce are, I’m sure my score will be most modest indeed. All those years as a musician couldn’t possibly… um, never mind. I broked it too.

  23. 23 Mike Monday, September 28, 2009 at 9:29 am

    5,027,418.

    Beat that suckers.

    Of course, I suspect the number as well. I blame that tranny that one time…

    πŸ˜‰

  24. 24 balbulican Monday, September 28, 2009 at 10:06 am

    I was always slightly embarrassed about what a chaste kid I had been, given that I hit puberty in the sixties. Now I can boast about my two million and something partners. Thanks, JJ, for introducing me to the inner slut I never got to be. πŸ™‚

  25. 25 JJ Monday, September 28, 2009 at 7:45 pm

    scout

    i only racked up 94,999.

    😯 πŸ˜‰ Nothing wrong with that. Wrong is when you get a negative score, like Jasper.

  26. 26 JJ Monday, September 28, 2009 at 7:50 pm

    Shade

    It was only like 7000 if my boyfriend had been a girl though, strangely.

    Interesting — I guess it’s heterosexist, as RB said.

    I didn’t get far enough to see all the other questions it asked — it imploded trying to do my initial calculation. (Then Bruce came along and probably welded all the thing’s transistors into a pile of hot molten lava.)

  27. 27 JJ Monday, September 28, 2009 at 7:53 pm

    RB – 😯 πŸ˜† That site is a riot. Those rooms are some of the most — uh — I don’t even know if “ugly” is the right word, they were a real mishmash. The commentary is wonderful, though. Ha! Thanks.

  28. 28 JJ Monday, September 28, 2009 at 8:03 pm

    psa

    Considering what trollops JJ and Bruce are

    And proud of it! Wheeeeeee!

  29. 29 JJ Monday, September 28, 2009 at 8:09 pm

    Mike –

    5,027,418.

    😯 Whoa! 😯

    By the looks of it, we’ve amassed enough moral turpitude just in this thread to bring down society and leave it in a heap of smoking (hot) ruins.

  30. 30 JJ Monday, September 28, 2009 at 8:14 pm

    Balb

    Now I can boast about my two million and something partners.

    Have you told Mrs. Balb this deep dark secret?

  31. 31 Dr. Prole Monday, September 28, 2009 at 9:10 pm

    Uh oh. When I did it it said “TILT” like a pinball machine. Then it started saying “Danger! Danger Will Robinson!”, and smoke came out of my tower.

    πŸ˜‰

  32. 32 JJ Monday, September 28, 2009 at 9:11 pm

    Ack! We’re killing it!!

  33. 33 JJ Monday, September 28, 2009 at 9:12 pm

    Hey — I notice Jasper hasn’t weighed in on this thread. Maybe he wants to keep that -5000 score to himself.

  34. 34 mouthyorange Tuesday, September 29, 2009 at 2:54 am

    Mine hit over 5,000,000 too, but it doesn’t make sense because I hadn’t slept with that many individuals β€” directly, at least. Maybe it’s because one of my partners was a bisexual man who had slept with a Russian Orthodox priest.

  35. 35 rev.paperboy Tuesday, September 29, 2009 at 4:45 am

    Aw, quit bragging, some of us had to go to university in the paranoid mid 80’s when we were assured that if you had sex you’d catch AIDS and burst into flames and die by morning.

  36. 36 RealityBites Tuesday, September 29, 2009 at 6:07 am

    Dr. Prole —

    and smoke came out of my tower

    Shall we assume this is a colourful euphemism?

  37. 37 Dr. Prole Tuesday, September 29, 2009 at 7:07 am

    RB, no, smoke came out of my computer tower after I melted down the sex calculator. If it was a euphemism I probably would have used “box” instead of “tower”. πŸ˜‰

    OMG can you imagine if it tried to calculate the actual number of sex acts instead of partners?!? We’d probably bring down the whole internet!


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