“Family Values” nuts say “D’oh!” to Marge Simpson Playboy spread

This is kind of weird, but why not?…?  To celebrate the 20th anniversary of “The Simpsons”, Marge Simpson will be strutting her stuff in an elegant little spread in the November issue of Playboy.  Here’s a preview:  

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In order to sell the issue featuring Marge channeling her Inner Vargas Girl, 7-ll has broken their longstanding policy of not selling Playboy-type magazines,  something they were bullied into about 20 years ago by the sex-hating fascists at the “American Family Association“.  The AFA, not known for its keen ability to discern the difference between Reality and Cartoonland, is predictably blowing a gasket:

The American Family Association is demanding that 7-Eleven reconsider its decision to sell the November issue of Playboy featuring Marge Simpson of “The Simpsons” on its cover.  […]

But American Family Association Special Projects Director Randy Sharp blasted 7-Eleven’s decision to attract young men to the pornographic pictorial.

“Most American dads know the dangers that porn represents to young males,” Sharp said in a statement. “It’s irresponsible of 7-Eleven to display porn in front of boys who pop into 7-Elevens for a hot dog or a Slurpee.”

“Demanding”!  And so they should:  the grave danger of a magazine sitting on a store shelf (and featuring a cartoon character, no less) cannot be underestimated.   The more time a young male spends pondering such material, the less time he has for those showers with Dad.

(via Gawker)

29 Responses to ““Family Values” nuts say “D’oh!” to Marge Simpson Playboy spread”


  1. 1 Beijing York Saturday, October 17, 2009 at 10:17 pm

    DOUBLE LOL!!! I take it that good Christian boys would rather whack off to a cartoon character than real flesh and blood. Holy fock these people are deluded.

  2. 2 Torontoist Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 2:41 am

    Marge is one of their idols, among women at least.
    This is near sacrilege what the magazine is doing
    to her! Why it’s almost as bad as asking for a pot
    of tea at a baseball game!

    Moreover, if Marge could pose for Playboy, what
    could come next–Minnie Mouse???

    Oh!!! the horror!!!!

  3. 3 Skinny Dipper Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 4:31 am

    I thought the fambots hated The Simpsons in the first place.

  4. 4 Reality Bites Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 6:20 am

    To be fair, I’d imagine the typical issue of Playboy has dozens of explicit photographs apart from the centrefold. If AFA wanted it not sold before, having Marge S. as the centrefold wouldn’t change that.

  5. 5 balbulican Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 7:49 am

    Those are very discrete shots. I guess we’re not going to find out whether she’s a REAL bluehead or not.

  6. 6 JJ Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 8:08 am

    balb – 😆
    Carpet/curtains match? Only Homer knows for sure…

  7. 7 JJ Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 8:21 am

    RB – I’d be more inclined to be fair to the AFA if their press release hadn’t specifically mentioned the Marge issue, rather than just Playboy being in the store. This was the line following the quote I posted:

    “The cover will create the kind of curiosity that can easily lead them into an addictive porn habit,” he said. “This is not what American families want to see in their neighborhood convenience store.”

    So they are concerned, not just that Playboy will be in 7-11, but that this particular issue will pique the curiousity and poison the minds of young Christian males.

    That said, I’d bet the AFA’s real concern is that a corporation that allowed itself to be bullied and cowed by them 20 yrs ago has now broken off its chain.

  8. 8 JJ Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 8:25 am

    Skinny – It wouldn’t surprise me, since they’re totally humour-challenged.

    Well, I guess now they have even greater reason to hate the Simpsons. Marge Simpson poisons the pure minds of young Christian males and causes more slaughter in the tubesock holocaust.

  9. 9 JJ Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 8:27 am

    Torontonian

    Marge is one of their idols, among women at least.

    I’m not so sure… I haven’t followed their position on the Simpsons, but Skinny Dipper says they don’t like the Simpsons and I could see why. The Simpsons sometimes has a message that doesn’t jibe with the AFA’s worldview… celebrate diversity etc.

  10. 10 JJ Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 8:29 am

    Beijing

    I take it that good Christian boys would rather whack off to a cartoon character than real flesh and blood.

    What a hideous visual… a young family values kid, a lewd picture of Marge Simpson, a tube sock… 😯

  11. 11 Reality Bites Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 9:52 am

    Well certainly they’re not going to let an opportunity for more publicity to pass them by.

  12. 12 JJ Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 10:21 am

    And an opportunity to fleece the rubes for more ca$h

  13. 13 harpervalley Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 10:47 am

    power to the world of animated people!!!
    great find, JJ

    You have been selected by me as a recipient of the ‘EAwards’ which demonstrates the excellency of your blog. It’s meme-like suggestions are that you choose ten blogs you find excellent.

    The logo for your side bar can be found at :
    http://harpervalley.wordpress.com/2009/10/18/finally-i-figured-it-out/

    and , oh yes, please continue your good work!!!!

  14. 14 JJ Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 10:53 am

    W00t! Thanks, Scoutie!

  15. 15 Raphael Alexander Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 12:16 pm

    I don’t really care, per se, I just think it’s kind of dated to use the Simpson’s. They stopped being cool about 6 or 7 years ago. Maybe longer.

    Isn’t there enough hentai tentacle porn going around without adding more silliness to the internet?

  16. 16 JJ Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 12:35 pm

    RA – Ewww. I thought it was a little weird… definitely indicative of a world that’s increasingly too confused to perceive the difference between fantasy and reality. Also dated, no question about that. But, oh well. Hefner thinks it will sell magazines to 22-yr-olds, and I bet it will.

  17. 17 Reality Bites Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 1:04 pm

    “I just think it’s kind of dated to use the Simpson’s.”

    Unlike the misuse of apostrophes, which never goes out of style.

  18. 19 Cornelius T.Zen Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 3:24 pm

    Good morrow, all!
    Men and women in Japan view far more violent pornography than in all of North America. The rate of rape and murder in Japan is far lower than in North America. There are fewer Christians in Japan than in North America.
    Could there be a connection? It makes you wonder – CTZen

  19. 20 Reality Bites Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 5:04 pm

    Ah true, Cornelius, but they pixellate the genitals. Clearly that makes all the difference. 😉

  20. 21 Bleatmop Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 5:30 pm

    Re: “7-ll has broken their longstanding policy of not selling Playboy-type magazines”

    I haven’t been in a 7-11 in about 5 years, but when I was in there last, they were selling a playboy magazines in the store at that time.

  21. 22 JJ Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 5:43 pm

    CTZen – It’s an interesting question. I’ve seen it argued that porn keeps potential offenders from acting on their frustrated impulses, but also that it incites them to act out, so who knows.

    My feeling is that if people want porn, who am I to tell them they can’t have it? (I’m talking adult pron, nothing that abuses kids, of course.)

  22. 23 JJ Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 5:44 pm

    Bleatmop – That would probably be in Canada, eh? 😉 Our corporations generally ignore the religious right’s demands.

  23. 24 Cornelius T.Zen Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 6:26 pm

    Good morrow, all!
    “They pixilate the genitals…” sounds…painful…are we talking severe electronic sadism here? As though the Japanese people did not know what lies behind the scrambled image.
    It is not porn which inspires sexual violence. It is the concept that people can and will get away with it. It is the concept that people are property, and, yes, it works both ways.
    I rarher like Malcolm Muggeridge’s summation: “The purpose of pornography is to stimulate sexual arousal, which is unnecessary for the young, inconvenient for the middle-aged, and impossible for the old.”
    What made people commit sexual violence before there was mass communication of any kind? Pornography is older than Judaism. There were pornographic images in Babylon before Abraham. It was not these images that made people rape and kill one another.
    Interesting species, humanity — the only known species that knowingly and willingly fouls its own nest.
    The Devil is redundant – CTZen

  24. 25 J. A. Baker Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 6:28 pm

    Moreover, if Marge could pose for Playboy, what
    could come next–Minnie Mouse???

    Hey, with all those panty-flashes Minnie keeps giving us, I can’t help but wonder if she’s angling for a Playmouse gig. 😆 😆 😆 😆

  25. 26 Frank Frink Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 9:16 pm

    The recession must be hitting the cartoon characters pretty hard. First Marge takes the $$$ to pose for the Hefner’s publication, now this.

    Who’s next? The Little Mermaid? 😯

  26. 27 RealityBites Monday, October 19, 2009 at 6:14 am

    I think, JJ, that many things can inspire an already-deranged mind. A small percentage of frustrated employees go “postal” and turn a gun on their coworkers, but that’s not a valid reason for banning employment. A small percentage of people murder their spouse, but that’s not a reason for banning marriage. Nor is it a reason for banning fictional portrayals of these things.

    Those of us who are sane recognize the paramount issue of consent. We also recognize fiction for what it is.

  27. 28 Niles Monday, October 19, 2009 at 10:37 am

    JAB:

    That would be PentMouse.

    JJ:

    As I suspect you might be a fan of the ‘underground comix’ that have popped up since the ’60s, you’re aware of the big lawsuit that resulted when the adult portrayals of Disney characters was done? Lud knows ‘fanfic’ illos of lasciviously sexualized natures have been done of pretty much every character out there.

    Interesting that Playboy would the first NorAm mainstream skin mag to make the nod to the underground prurience. But 20 years is a generation. The wee tots that started out with the Simpsons are now the up and coming executives of the world.

    All I can say is, Homer must have used the Force ala Anakin the Whiny to bondpartner that bluehaired beauty.

  28. 29 RealityBites Tuesday, October 20, 2009 at 7:38 am

    Oh come on, Niles. Look at the third picture above. Clearly Marge is the one using special powers to attract her mate. Airbrushed naked doughnuts on each side of her chestal area, forcing poor Homer into an agony of indecision that keeps him planted forever in her cleavage.


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