They make it too easy

Have we finally reached the endpoint, the nadir, the edge of the abyss, the heart of conservative darkness where wingnuts have become unparodyable?

60 Responses to “They make it too easy”

  1. 1 Torontonian Saturday, November 21, 2009 at 7:40 pm

    I think I know what he means. I sort of suspect
    he was some skooled. That would explain it all.

    As for becoming unparodyable, you’re echoing what
    I’ve said before that the material just writes itself.

    Rather like the comedy series Yes Minister, Yes
    Prime Minister. The authors admitted they got all
    the plot ideas from the pages of the newspapers of
    the day. Margaret Thatcher was the PM of the day.

    I had half expected Jay Leno to admit that with
    Bush’s election in 2000, he wouldn’t need to hire
    any writers since the daily papers would suffice
    for monologue material.

    But, back to the story at hand. This is a situation
    in the state of Utah. Utah has Mormons like picnics
    have ants. What with all the home skooling and Jell-O,
    for desert, this guys’ brains become Jell-O.

  2. 2 Dr. Prole Saturday, November 21, 2009 at 8:07 pm

    Tina Fey parodied Palin by using her own words. Yup, they’re officially unparodyable.

    I still get a chuckle about Bill Donahue using Stephen Colbert’s blurb to promote his book – “Wake up, America! The secular minority has cut the brake cables on America’s In-God-We-Trust-Mobile™! Not even all 43 of our Christian presidents can save us now.” 😉

  3. 3 Bruce Saturday, November 21, 2009 at 9:50 pm

    I saw that the other day and I’m sorry, it’s either wishful thinking, or at some time in the past he gagged till he puked.

    Honestly, who the hell comes up with imagery like that unless they have some kind of at least fleeting, regretful history with it?

    These people betray themselves every time they open their big fat self loathing receptacles for ridicule.

  4. 4 deBeauxOs Saturday, November 21, 2009 at 10:29 pm

    And the name … Senator Butt-Ars?!?!? All the elements of parody found at The Onion.

  5. 6 Bruce Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 12:58 am

    Even shorter:

    Does this cock in my mouth make me look gay?

  6. 9 Cornelius T.Zen Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 9:14 am

    Good morrow, all!
    All Will Rogers ever had to do was read the headlines.
    Unparodyable? Tom Lehrer once told Mark Russell, “When parody and reality cross each other on the ridiculous line, I’m out of a job.”
    So, all we have to do is check the spelling. Pity. It was fun while it lasted.
    We will, however, need a whole new dictionary.
    Unparodyable? – CTZen

  7. 10 Dr. Prole Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 10:17 am

    If I may make an OT request – please stop feeding the troll.

  8. 11 deBeauxOs Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 11:24 am

    Does that mean that we have to let him get the last word?


  9. 12 Dr. Prole Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 11:29 am

    If we ever want JJ’s blog to get back to a state of normalcy, then I’m afraid so. JJ, your thoughts?

    Funny thing, Jasper has been very quiet since ForcedBirther showed up…kinda makes you go hmmmmm. I wonder how the IPs compare.

  10. 13 Dr. Prole Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 11:32 am

    LOL I just read that last screed, and it does look suspiciously like Jasper’s typical post-church communion wine bender pattern of posting, misspellings and all. 😉

  11. 14 deBeauxOs Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 11:34 am

    Different trolls, I think. Isn’t Jasper from the US? Pro-liar may be home-grown.

  12. 15 pro-lifer Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 11:59 am

    Oh you guys wanna pull out just as you’re losing the battle. Typical!

  13. 16 Cornelius T.Zen Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 12:16 pm

    Good morrow, all!
    Pro-lifer: In order to sit at the table with the grown-ups, you have to be a grown-up. Seeing as how you just qualified for training pants, you might have to wait a little while.
    Do keep us posted on how the toilet training is coming along, won’t you? – CTZen

  14. 17 pro-lifer Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 12:26 pm

    Yeah what the fuck would you know about children? You probably silenced all of yours! Apparently I’ve missed the pot because I’ve certainly shit ALL over your fuckin parade! Ha!

  15. 18 pro-lifer Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 12:33 pm

    P.S. I’m QUITE sure everyone is sick to death of your “Good morrow, all” statement. It’s like a really bad haircut that nobody will be mean enough to inform you about. However since I care absolutely NOTHING about you I thought I’d let you in on a little secret: it makes you sound like a complete dipshit!

  16. 19 Cornelius T.Zen Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 12:39 pm

    Good morrow, all!
    You know, life simply does not get any better than when you become aware that the best part of your conversational companion ran down his mama’s leg. We are indeed blessed, are we not, to have such an offering presented to us by the poster child for anacephaly.
    Don’t forget to wash your face and hands – CTZen

  17. 20 Cornelius T.Zen Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 12:42 pm

    Good morrow, all!
    A quick show of hands, if you will. Apart from our placental inflammation, who among the readers of this blog are “sick” of my usual greeting?
    Your humble servant – CTZen

  18. 21 Dr. Prole Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 12:45 pm

    Not me, CT. I quite enjoy your trademark greeting.

  19. 22 pro-lifer Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 12:46 pm

    It’s anencephaly you neanderthal! “Blessed” and “offering”…hmmmmm. better choose your words more carefully if you are going to call US religious zealots Zen. Don’t forget to wash your hands…..and your blackened soul.

  20. 23 Frank Frink Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 12:46 pm

    CTZen, just keep doing what you do.

  21. 24 pro-lifer Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 12:47 pm

    Of course you’d say that to your accomplice Dr. Prolife.

  22. 25 pro-lifer Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 12:48 pm

    Ah Frinklestein how
    i’ve missed you…coming out to bat again?

  23. 26 pro-lifer Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 12:49 pm

    I can’t believe you had to tally how many people disliked your fuckin greeting. Man I’m good!

  24. 27 Frank Frink Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 12:53 pm

    Did I rattle my zipper?

  25. 28 pro-lifer Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 12:54 pm

    Oh and Zen you better clarify who you are a “humble servant” of because it’s not the people on this pathetic site. Actually I believe he is not even of this world!

  26. 29 fern hill Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 12:54 pm

    CTZen, I always enjoy your offerings, including your salutation.

    I don’t understand trolling. Somebody behaves obnoxiously, eventually gets banned, and then what? He/she gets to whine/gloat over the targetted people not being able to take it? Not able to withstand the troll’s withering wit and/or devastingly effective logic?

    I don’t geddit.

  27. 30 pro-lifer Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 12:55 pm

    Well if you were going to use what was under the zipper I would have been less than impressed.

  28. 31 Cornelius T.Zen Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 12:57 pm

    Good morrow, all!
    Of course, pro-lifer, your offerings are both good and original
    However, the parts that are good are nor original, and that parts that are original are not good.
    Aside to JJ: Whenever you grow tired of my drivel, dear lady, say the word. I am nothing if not a gentleman.
    As ever, your hunble servant – CTZen

  29. 32 pro-lifer Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 12:57 pm

    I think you hit the nail on the head Fernie with “devastatingly effective logic”. Thanks for kicking the ball into the opponent’s net! I’d say I’ve had quite the effect and to prove it I just have to look at the repeat offenders who simply MUST comment on ALL I have to say!

  30. 33 pro-lifer Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 1:02 pm

    So Zen you’ve morphed from an alien being to fuckin yoda! Nice fuckin analogy….I think you better run back to your temple and think up some more effective comebacks. Whatsa matter Zen gotta run to the site owner to try and shut me down cause you can’t do it yourself? Pretty sad when the only way you can shut me up is to kick me off. I thought you people had more fight in you….turns out your a bunch of wimps.

  31. 34 Cornelius T.Zen Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 1:18 pm

    Good morrow, all!
    “Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent” – Isaac Asimnov
    Shut you down, pro-lifer? Whatever for? You offer the prospect of unlimited entertainment, for the price of mere participation. That is value.
    JJ, please do not kick pro-lifer off this blog. He implies that I have a problem dealing with children. Having dealt with the discharge encountered from both ends of a child, in my time, I find no problem in encountering this endless source of spittle, bile, and excrement.
    Pro-lifer: flattery will get you nowhere…not that that has ever stopped you before.
    On the other hand, should the readers of this blog, in their consensual wisdom, dedcide that pro-lifer is no longer welcome, I shall shed a tear for what might have been.
    God keep you, pro-lifer…in His Mercy, somewhere else
    As ever, everyone’s humble servant – CTZen

  32. 35 JJ Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 1:19 pm

    Elizabeth, what on earth are you doing here?

    I can’t imagine how a 33-yr-old woman could be so desperately devoid of social life that her idea of weekend fun is to sit at her computer for hours on end — literally HOURS according to my site meter — spewing incoherent insults at total strangers who really don’t care.

    What’s wrong, Elizabeth? Are you the lonely fat chick who never gets asked out and takes out her anger on strangers from behind the safety of a computer screen?

    You’re a profoundly sick and sad person, and I truly feel sorry for you. Seek help before you hurt yourself.


    Lizzy’s left the building. Anyone who inexplicably wants to continue this meaningless “discussion” with her can email her at

  33. 36 fern hill Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 1:23 pm

    JJ, how’d you do that? Or would that be telling? 😉

  34. 37 JJ Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 1:23 pm

    CTZen – Too late. She’s trolling and she’s out of here.

  35. 38 JJ Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 1:28 pm

    fern hill – WordPress has a spam function. Lizzy’s probably still typing away furiously, but it’s all going to a spam folder somewhere, who knows where.

    See why I allow Jasper to keep posting here? This is the difference between a really vicious troll who’s just being an asshole, and someone like Jasper, who occasionally shows glimpses of humanity and even a sense of humour.

    I think it’s significant that he was conspicuously absent from that little clusterfuck of a “discussion”.

  36. 39 fern hill Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 1:31 pm

    I must investigate what we’ve got at our place. But I meant how did you find out who she is?

  37. 40 Cornelius T.Zen Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 1:31 pm

    Good morrow, JJ!
    I shall shed that tear for what might have been.
    As ever, your humble servant – CTZen

  38. 41 Dr. Prole Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 1:37 pm

    JJ, when you say “incoherent”, you mean spittle-flecked, right? 😉

  39. 42 sassy Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 1:37 pm

    CT- I guess my comment got caught in the “JJ’s CSI troll net” as I had submitted a thumbs up to your greeting.

    JJ – well done, seems Lizzy is either in Ontario or Quebec.

  40. 43 JJ Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 1:45 pm

    sassy – You can’t post a link or picture without some text, or it’ll get sent to spammy-land. Not my doing — that’s just how wordpress functions.

    Lizzy’s in St.Catharines. She probably really is who she claimed to be, Elizabeth Packer, oldest daughter of the anti-abortion cop.

  41. 44 JJ Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 1:47 pm

    Dr.Prole – Quite right, incoherent is just a code word for “spittle-flecked”.

    And speaking of spittle-flecked, wow. Was Lizzy ever a good example of that. She must have a roll of paper towels beside her monitor to wipe it all up.

  42. 45 JJ Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 1:52 pm

    fern hill

    But I meant how did you find out who she is?

    😉 It wasn’t hard to figure out.

    I’ve got her phone number too, if you want to give her a call 😆

  43. 46 fern hill Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 1:54 pm

    Thanks for the kind offer, JJ, but I’ll pass.

  44. 47 JJ Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 2:22 pm

    CTZen – Sorry if I sounded terse in that last comment.

    As you know, I have a pretty high threshold for trolls. But there’s a big difference between the garden-variety trolling that people like Jasper do (reciting talking points, cut and pasting propaganda etc.), which might actually initiate discussion, and being a vicious, incoherent asshole who’s just acting out their own anger on the internet because they’re too gutless to do it in real life.

    “Elizabeth” trolls don’t comment because they want discussion, they comment because it’s a release for their unresolved anger issues. There’s no point in engaging them because they consider it some kind of “victory” — which says something tragic about how much attention they get offline.

    I try to make this a venue for amusement and discussion, and in that spirit I always welcome intelligent dissenting commentary. However, psychiatric support is “above my pay grade”, as they say 😉

  45. 48 JJ Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 2:52 pm

    fern hill – Got her address too, if you want to send her a box of dog shit 😉 😆

    All kidding aside, the best thing to do with people like Lizzy is ignore them completely. (She probably gets a lot of that in the real world anyway, which I have a feeling is why she’s sitting on the internet all weekend swearing at people.)

  46. 49 Shade Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 3:24 pm

    Well I guess everyone can be happy now. She can rant on some conservative page and make her self out to be some great matyr and… we don’t have to listen to her. She must be really bitter about what happened to her father, but hey the job is protect and serve.

    Oh and Cornelius I like your greeting as well.

  47. 50 JJ Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 3:54 pm

    Shade – Well, we could have all just ignored her. I understand why people might find it hard to look away from such a train wreck, but really it’s a waste of time and it just gives them what they want: attention. Trolls of that brain-damaged magnitude are only worthy of one response: “Thanks for the input!”

    Ironically, the story about what happened to her father — he got demoted to a lower-paying job after refusing to guard the Morgentaler clinic — sort of resonates with me. I do think it was unfair to him. He wasn’t trying to keep anyone from getting an abortion, he just didn’t want to guard an abortion clinic. I’m surprised the cops wouldn’t just let him trade shifts with someone else, and it seems unreasonably harsh that they’d demote him. (And frankly, I’d rather anti-choicers didn’t have anything to do with clinic security — talk about a fifth column.)

    I bet there’s more to the story than meets the eye.

  48. 51 deBeauxOs Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 5:41 pm

    Well JJ if you want to know more, there is that “biography” – copies of which are available in selected venues and libraries …

    Not to belabour the point as it were but Toronto is a big city. How difficult could it have been for ex-constable Packer to speak to HR and the staff chaplain in order to get re-assigned to other duties?

    There is likely more than what was claimed to be persecution based on religious beliefs.

    And as you pointed out, there appears to be unresolved mental health issues that still resonate with at least one Packer child.

  49. 52 Cornelius T.Zen Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 6:02 pm

    Good morrow, JJ!
    Ah, my dear lady, I was having such fun with…you did say Elizabeth? Pity. Oh, well, Munchausen must manifest itself elsewhere, I suppose.
    Like Bogie might say: We’ll always have Jasper.
    As ever, your humble and obedient servant – CTZen

  50. 53 JJ Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 9:03 pm

    deBeauxOs – His wife wrote a book about it, and by all accounts she’s a screeching fetus fetishist of the highest order — a member of Operation Rescue, sued by the Morgentaler Clinic for haranguing the patients etc etc… a real piece of work… so I wouldn’t expect anything she wrote to be a reality-based accounting of what happened.

    I wouldn’t mind reading an unbiased account of what happened, but really I’m not all that interested in these people or their problems. They’re obviously pretty fucked up.

  51. 54 JJ Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 9:13 pm

    CTZen – Well, I’m sorry. I hate making unilateral decisions about who people can engage with around here, but there comes a point when someone becomes such a pest that they’re driving other commenters nuts. If it was just happening in one thread I could live with it because eventually everyone would get bored and ignore her, but when she jumped thread and started showing up elsewhere, I had to draw the line.

    Trolls are like viruses, you have to nip them in the bud or they spread all over the place and before you know it, the whole carpet is knee-deep in shit.

  52. 55 rev.paperboy Monday, November 23, 2009 at 1:56 am

    I have no sympathy whatsoever for Constable Packer. The sign says “Serve and Protect” not “Serve and Protect only the people you think deserve it” – One of the vital similarities between the police and military is that you must follow legal orders. That is what you sign up for and if you don’t like it, quit. Suppose Constable Packer did approve of prostitutes and therefore didn’t want to investigate when one was murdered? Maybe next he’d decide he didn’t approve of pharmacists who dole out birth control and therefore wasn’t going to investigate any pharmacy burglaries.Nope, when you are the police, you have to serve and protect everybody, even people you don’t like. So screw Constable Packer, he’s in the wrong line of work.

  53. 56 Cornelius T.Zen Monday, November 23, 2009 at 7:32 am

    Good morrow, all!
    JJ – This is your blog, and banning anyone, even myself, is your right. After all, one does not tease a rabid dog. One puts it down.
    Rev Paperboy – In any profession, you might get sick days, vacation days, professional development days. I have never heard of “I don’t feel like doing my job because of my religious convictions” or “I don’t like the people you make me work with” days. Best we not encourage the labor relations people to look into that. Might give them ideas.
    As ever, your humble and obedient servant – CTZen

  54. 57 J. A. Baker Monday, November 23, 2009 at 11:54 am

    Lizzy’s left the building.

    Would this be the same Liz who objected to your use of the term “anti-choice” back in April? Judging by the different e-mail addresses, I’d guess not, but stranger things have happened.

  55. 58 JJ Monday, November 23, 2009 at 4:41 pm

    Hi Rev!

    Generally that’s my attitude towards people who whine about not wanting to do their job because of “religious beliefs”. People like pharmacists and marriage commissioners know what they’re getting into when they embark upon these careers: contraception is one of the most widely-dispensed pharmaceuticals around, and gay marriage is the law of the land, so IMO it’s incumbent upon these people to STFU and do their jobs.

    That said, I guess I was a little more sympathetic to this guy’s case because he probably didn’t expect to ever have to guard an abortion clinic — unlike the pharmacist who’s guaranteed to have to dispense contraception at some point. But you make a good argument that we can’t have cops deciding who is worthy of being protected. They do this enough already with people they think are less than exemplary citizens (another reason I’m prepared to self-defend at all times — I would never rely on these assholes, they wouldn’t even come to my house when it got broken into! Jerks.)

    So yeah, you’re probably right. We can’t make exceptions for people in public service, or all hell will break loose.

  56. 59 JJ Monday, November 23, 2009 at 4:46 pm


    After all, one does not tease a rabid dog. One puts it down.

    Yes, and according to my site meter this one is close to being a stalker.

  57. 60 JJ Monday, November 23, 2009 at 4:47 pm

    JAB – No, this is a different person completely.

    Good memory, I’d forgotten all about that one.

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