An idea whose time has come

Dammit Janet has come up with the “Maurice Vellacott Award” — an honour recognizing leadership in what DJ calls “gynophobia” (which I think is probably the irrational fear of women managing their own reproductive systems).   It kind of reminds me of Andrew Sullivan’s awards that are named after Michelle Malkin et al.

When you think about it, Canada has enough wingnuts that there are many awards that could named after the leading Canadian lights in deranged disciplines from misogyny to fetus fetishizing, and occasionally bestowed upon deserving individuals:

the ALLCAPS Award – for fetus fetishism so extreme that it borders on the psychotic;

the KEN Award – for incoherent misogynist gibberish posted in blog comments  (named for “Ken”, one of ALLCAPS’ regular commenters);

the Landolt Award – for demented homophobic hyperbole;

the Lakritz Award – for excellence in blaming feminists for every problem in the world from Climate Change to the Stock Market Crash

I bet we can think of a few more if we try…

21 Responses to “An idea whose time has come”

  1. 1 Bruce Thursday, November 26, 2009 at 5:51 pm

    How many people can I nominate for the Landolt award? I can think of a few, and no doubt they all “have friends who are gay”.

  2. 2 JJ Thursday, November 26, 2009 at 6:22 pm

    Bruce – Yes, no doubt they all have people they refer to as “friends” who are gay, but they think their “friends” should be relegated to 2nd class citizen status… I’m not sure I’d want a “friend” like that.

    There are probably even more appropriate people to name the award after than Landolt, but her “Apology to the World For Gay Marriage” was just so mindblowingly bigoted I had to pick her.

  3. 3 deBeauxOs Thursday, November 26, 2009 at 6:43 pm

    No, Landolt is a good one for attaching to an award for odious homophobia.

  4. 4 fern hill Thursday, November 26, 2009 at 6:54 pm

    Great stuff, JJ.

    But I can’t imagine who could compete with SUZY ALL-SHRIEEEK for her award. Well, maybe Big Nurse Jill, but she’s Murrican. SUZY is in a class by herself. Maybe a ‘Nearly as Nutty as SUZY’ award?

  5. 5 JJ Thursday, November 26, 2009 at 7:00 pm

    fern hill – Nobody could compete with ALLCAPS, but that’s why we name the award after her, and give it to people when they do something almost as insane.

    ie., Remember when Jonathon Kay wrote that article about “Why we should have an abortion law” (and I fisked it) — what I would do today is just give him the ALLCAPS award (and also the fisking, but the award makes it more fun).

  6. 6 JJ Thursday, November 26, 2009 at 7:02 pm

    deBeauxOs – I think Landolt is even more worried about gay marriage than she is about abortion 😯 … although, she dumps on Teh Feminists too (give her a Lakritz Award).

  7. 7 Shade Thursday, November 26, 2009 at 7:26 pm

    I thought of an award that might be good, I couldn’t think of a Canadian wingnut to fit the bill quite so good so I’m using the one of the people who made one of the most outlandish accusations I’ve ever heard.

    The Shlomo Award – For creative and outlandish supernatural accustions or conspiracy theories.

    Shlomo Benizri is the Israeli MP who believes homosexuality can cause earthquakes. Feel free to change it to someone you feel is more fitting if you want to use the idea though.

  8. 8 deBeauxOs Thursday, November 26, 2009 at 8:26 pm

    In the right circumstances, homosexuality can make the earth move for you.

    What? What?

  9. 9 Shade Thursday, November 26, 2009 at 9:14 pm

    Oh believe me I’m well aware of that fact deBeauxOs.

  10. 10 Bene D Thursday, November 26, 2009 at 9:42 pm

    A Chucky award? You helped coin that name for McVety.”^)

  11. 11 Bruce Thursday, November 26, 2009 at 9:51 pm

    A Chucky, the most coveted award of all. 😆

  12. 12 Frank Frink Thursday, November 26, 2009 at 10:00 pm

    Excellent, Bene D! 🙂

    I’ll take that up a notch: The Docter Chucky Award.

  13. 13 JJ Thursday, November 26, 2009 at 10:21 pm

    The Chucky Award! Ding ding ding We have a winner!

  14. 14 rev.paperboy Thursday, November 26, 2009 at 11:31 pm

    May I humbly suggest two awards?

    The Patsy Ross trophy – awarded for thick-as-a-plank-and-unlikely-to-ever-get-nailed comment trolling of the “So what your saying is (insert complete misunderstanding and twisting of point into pretzel)” variety above and beyond the call of common sense and reasonable toleration. Award consists of trophy (a gilded horse turd) and bursary (the price bus fare to the nearest barber college to get rid of that god-awful mullet)

    The “Needle” Dick Evans NAMBLA prize – awarded for combined demonstrated willful misintereptation, outright defamation and cyberbullying. Prize consists of a visit from the RCMP vice squad, a harrassment suit, a “thanks for all the traffic” subscription to “Pedophilia Today” courtesy of NAMBLA and $5 (the last, it being stipulated, is to buy a supply of “clues”)

  15. 15 Torontonian Friday, November 27, 2009 at 3:50 am

    What about naming awards after some despicable MPs?

    Cheryl Gallant and Pierre Poilievre spring to mind.

    The Pierre Poilievre Prize–and boy is he ever!

    I just can’t think of anything alliterative to
    Cheryl Gallant’s forename or surname.

  16. 16 hemmingforddogblog Friday, November 27, 2009 at 5:48 am

    If you are going to have a “Ken” award, I think that it’s full name should be the “Barbie & Ken” award. The Barbie being Barbara Kay over at the National Toast…

  17. 17 deBeauxOs Friday, November 27, 2009 at 12:59 pm

    National Pus columnist Barbara Kay and “Ken” from SUZY’s comments – now there’s a pwoer couple.

  18. 18 JJ Saturday, November 28, 2009 at 10:47 pm

    Rev. – Excellent suggestions! I predict a run on the Patrick Ross Trophy since the tendency to misinterpret what’s been said and pedantically twist it around to suit a political agenda seems to infect the Wingnutosphere like a savage, virulent virus.

    When that doesn’t work, they occasionally spiral into bullying and even stalking, so the Dick Evans Award will be almost as popular an item as the Twatsy Trophy.

  19. 19 JJ Saturday, November 28, 2009 at 10:58 pm

    Torontonian – Oh, Cheryl Gallant needs an award named after her for SURE. It would likely be won by people who have already collected an ALLCAPS award, but the Cheryl Gallant Award could be for more specific achievements, like comparing legal medical procedures to terrorism.

    And The Poilievre Award — for outstanding security breaches!

  20. 20 JJ Saturday, November 28, 2009 at 11:07 pm

    SQ – It was a tossup as to whether to name the blame-the-feminists award after Lakritz or Kay, but in the end I went with Lakritz because Kay seems to have a more expansive woman blaming agenda.

    But the odious Kay should certainly have an award named after her. Maybe for “excellence in blaming the victims of domestic violence for their own plight” (and their own bruises, broken bones, punched out teeth, etc).

  21. 21 JJ Saturday, November 28, 2009 at 11:08 pm

    deBeauxOs – There are actually a lot of people I’d name the Ken Award after, but he seems to epitomize rancid, brainless misogyny.

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