There’s something wrong with these people

The late Oral Roberts talks about teh secks:

Highlights:

“The vagina. Only one organ made can bring forth life. It’s the male organ. It’s not, in lesbianism, for the tongue of a female goes into the vagina of another female. It’s not in the male, where the male organ goes into the part of the body where the… the waste matter comes out of the body as poison, and he penetrates that part of the body in homosexuality. It’s not to be put in the mouth of the man, or the mouth of the man or the woman…. It is the male organ, penetrating the vagina of the woman, the male and the female.”

The “orra-fyce” and the “annus”

Seriously, did any of that gibberish make any sense?  It’s like the guy was so overcome with excitement that he was rendered totally incoherent.

31 Responses to “There’s something wrong with these people”


  1. 1 Bleatmop Wednesday, December 16, 2009 at 6:52 am

    The way that man talks about sex makes me so hot I just want to put my mouth of a man to the vagina. HAWT! Also, to hear about waste matter coming out as poison, I mean, what good christian couple wouldn’t want to go and create dozens of soldiers for America’s God’s army with that kind of go get em speach.

  2. 2 The Anti-Social Socialist Wednesday, December 16, 2009 at 9:16 am

    Now there’s a man who has never had a decent lay in his life… and wanted to make sure no one else did either.

  3. 3 Torontonian Wednesday, December 16, 2009 at 10:30 am

    Let’s not forget the portrayal of Sister Wendy as performed by
    Luba Goy and her use of words like, writhing and heaving.
    She’d be foaming at the mouth by the end of her interpretation of the various works.

  4. 4 Alison S Wednesday, December 16, 2009 at 11:30 am

    That’s a priceless pile of poisonous waste.

  5. 5 NickJ Wednesday, December 16, 2009 at 12:54 pm

    “Seriously, did any of that gibberish make any sense?”

    Yes, I would say it makes pefect sense. Evething he said in that paragraph is true. Sorry.

  6. 6 joe agnost Wednesday, December 16, 2009 at 1:18 pm

    NickJ wrote: “Evething he said in that paragraph is true. Sorry.”

    Close… very very close. Here – let me fix that for you:

    Everything he said in that paragraph is sorry. True.

    Ah… much better! 🙂

  7. 7 Parliament Shill Wednesday, December 16, 2009 at 3:12 pm

    I found it interesting that he could bring himself to say “vagina” but not “penis.” The male organ is so powerful that it is wrong to speak its name. It’s like God, you see.

    “Yes, I would say it makes pefect sense. Evething he said in that paragraph is true. Sorry.”

    Uh-huh. Except for the beginning, the middle, and the end part, you must mean. No “male organs” can “bring forth life.” That should have been your first clue that perhaps something was less than perfectly sensible.

  8. 8 Phatbiker Wednesday, December 16, 2009 at 3:47 pm

    “Gibberish” thats holy roller nut-job speak, that all the snake-oil salesmen (evangelists) use on the pulpit to whip up their brain dead followers. I think I can translate it, I think he said: cock in vagina good, cock in poop-chute bad.

  9. 9 Janus Wednesday, December 16, 2009 at 5:23 pm

    😆 I am so NOT hitting that “play” button!!! I need to keep my wits unscrambled for a few days, thankyouverymuch…

    Maybe later. Much later. 😉

  10. 10 JJ Wednesday, December 16, 2009 at 5:29 pm

    Janus – You have to listen to it, or you miss out on his lecture about the “orra-fyces” and the “annus”. Very informative.

  11. 11 JJ Wednesday, December 16, 2009 at 5:33 pm

    phatbiker – Old Oral sounds pretty whipped up himself in that clip 😯 It’s pretty bad when they get so carried away with excitement that they stop making sense… okay, make *even less* sense than usual.

  12. 12 JJ Wednesday, December 16, 2009 at 5:35 pm

    Parliament Shill

    I found it interesting that he could bring himself to say “vagina” but not “penis.”

    I noticed that too — maybe they use some other expression for it, like “the Godly Appurtenance of Multiplication”.

  13. 13 JJ Wednesday, December 16, 2009 at 5:37 pm

    joe agnost – Not bad 😆

  14. 14 JJ Wednesday, December 16, 2009 at 5:42 pm

    Torontonian – That was on Air Farce, right? I’ve been looking on youtube for a video but I can’t find one.

  15. 15 JJ Wednesday, December 16, 2009 at 5:44 pm

    Antisocial – Well you know what HL Mencken said: fundamentalism is the terrible pervasive fear that someone, somewhere, is having fun.

  16. 16 JJ Wednesday, December 16, 2009 at 5:46 pm

    bleatmop – I am so glad that was just an audio clip, because I shudder to think what kind of effect giving that crazed little sermon was having on Oral.

  17. 17 Bleatmop Wednesday, December 16, 2009 at 7:36 pm

    JJ – I’m sure he masturbated furiously after his speech then wept himself to sleep. Being sex-negative is the only way a fundie can get it up.

  18. 18 Frank Frink Thursday, December 17, 2009 at 2:55 am

    I noticed that too — maybe they use some other expression for it, like “the Godly Appurtenance of Multiplication”.

    They tend to use the word “turgid” a lot. As in, “the Godly Turgid Appurtenance of Multiplication”.

    Turgid prose is a specialty.

    I also have a personal rule about not dating anyone who can’t say the words ‘penis’ and ‘vagina’. Sorry, fundies. You can’t have me. 😉

  19. 19 Parliament Shill Thursday, December 17, 2009 at 6:41 am

    JJ – “I noticed that too — maybe they use some other expression for it, like “the Godly Appurtenance of Multiplication”.”

    Awesome. It’s almost worth going to seminary just so I could introduce this phrase into the jargon.

  20. 20 Torontonian Thursday, December 17, 2009 at 6:56 am

    JJ

    I’m wondering if the program was Double Exposure with Linda
    Cullen and Bob Robertson and not Air Farce as I suggested.

  21. 21 RealityBites Thursday, December 17, 2009 at 7:25 am

    I’m almost with you there FF. I too, will not date anyone who can’t say the words ‘penis’ and ‘vagina.’

    But I also won’t date anyone who can use them together in a sentence.

  22. 22 toujoursdan Thursday, December 17, 2009 at 10:33 am

    It’s no surprise that someone with the Given Name of “Oral” would have huge hangups when it comes to sex.

  23. 23 RealityBites Thursday, December 17, 2009 at 11:29 am

    Good thing it was Wilbur and Orville Wright or that plane would have never flown.

  24. 24 J. A. Baker Thursday, December 17, 2009 at 2:35 pm

    maybe they use some other expression for it, like “the Godly Appurtenance of Multiplication”.

    The Holy Rod of Babymaking (+2 to fertility).

  25. 25 deBeauxOs Thursday, December 17, 2009 at 4:20 pm

    toujoursdan said: “It’s no surprise that someone with the Given Name of “Oral” would have huge hangups when it comes to sex.”

    Won’t somebody please think of poor Onan?

  26. 26 JJ Thursday, December 17, 2009 at 5:36 pm

    FF

    They tend to use the word “turgid” a lot. As in, “the Godly Turgid Appurtenance of Multiplication”.

    Turgid 😯 *fans self*

  27. 27 JJ Thursday, December 17, 2009 at 5:38 pm

    Torontonian – Double Exposure? I’ll try searching that on youtube. Thanks

  28. 28 JJ Thursday, December 17, 2009 at 5:42 pm

    RB

    But I also won’t date anyone who can use them together in a sentence.

    😆 😆 😉

  29. 29 JJ Thursday, December 17, 2009 at 5:43 pm

    Toujoursdan – I hate to think of how Little Oral was tormented at school. Maybe that’s why he ended up being a TV preacher, so much first hand experience with persecution.

  30. 30 JJ Thursday, December 17, 2009 at 5:46 pm

    JAB

    The Holy Rod of Babymaking (+2 to fertility).

    The TURGID holy rod of babymaking. Actually, “babymaking” might be a little too graphic — I like Oral’s expression, “multiplication” 😆


  1. 1 If Oral Roberts Was All about PIV … « Kittywampus Trackback on Thursday, December 17, 2009 at 9:44 pm

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