Al Qaeda takes credit

It’s official:  the failed bombing of Flight 253 on Christmas Day was an Al Qaeda Terrorist Attack.   As everyone knows by now, I refer to the jangled little event that saw a would-be terrorist turn his crotch into a Banana Flambe trying to detonate an explosive device on board a Detroit-bound plane.  Although the bomb didn’t go off, the event is clearly a pivotal moment of some import:  it already has a Wiki page.  And now “Al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula” has taken credit for the effort:

Al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula has claimed responsibility for the attempted Christmas bombing of a U.S.-bound airliner that resulted in the arrest of 23-year-old Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab.

According to law enforcement officials, Abdulmutallab smuggled a small bag holding a potentially deadly concoction of liquid and powder – identified as the chemical compound PETN – on board Northwest Flight 253.

Jihadist websites are festooned today with the would-be bomber’s grinning visage and some enthusiastic “You go, girl!” words of congratulation for breaking through America’s supposedly impenetrable post-9/11 security firewall.

After all these years of taking off shoes and standing in interminably long lineups, I have to wonder how some kid with no passport, a one-way ticket (paid for in cash) and a warning filed with the US Embassy in Nigeria by his own father even managed to enter the airport, let alone break through any security firewalls.  So while it seems odd for Al Qaeda, given the deadly precision of their past operations, to claim ownership of a bungled attack, on the other hand…

On the other hand, maybe it wasn’t such a failure.  Consider the level of fear and paranoia that it’s cranked up:  media going berserk, politicians jabbering like chickens on crack and new airline security measures already in place with more undoubtedly to come.  Pretty soon passengers will have to be stark naked, handcuffed to their seats  and completely immobile except for shallow breathing for the duration of their flights (and that’s after a cavity search conducted with great gusto by brutish security thugs with cattle prods).  Indeed, no humiliation is too hideous if it means being Safe.  Even if it really means nothing.

That’s fear, and whether the bomb went off or not, it’s Mission Accomplished for the terrorists.

6 Responses to “Al Qaeda takes credit”

  1. 1 Mark Francis Tuesday, December 29, 2009 at 9:53 am

    “…cavity search conducted with great gusto by brutish security thugs with cattle prods”

    You realize that’s possibly marketable, right? LOL.

    Someone should start an “Al Qaeda Canada” blog and start taking credit for everything. maybe people will eventually click into the fact that Al Qaeda is largely composed of self-declared decentralized autonomous cells.

    Al Qaeda Canada could take credit for last year’s prorogation, for instance…

  2. 2 The Anti-Social Socialist Tuesday, December 29, 2009 at 9:56 am

    I remember, not so long ago, that flying was a pleasant experience – I enjoyed flying and was even amused by bad turbulence while others where white-knuckled and scared witless.

    Now there’s no need for turbulence. Everyone is scared and everyone else is angry.

    I think I should just get my own plane.

  3. 3 JJ Tuesday, December 29, 2009 at 2:51 pm


    Someone should start an “Al Qaeda Canada” blog and start taking credit for everything.

    😆 Seriously… everything! The weather, the Toronto Maple Leafs, the rotten taste of Lucky Lager…

  4. 4 JJ Tuesday, December 29, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    Antisocial – I have done a fair amount of flying, but I’ve never been all that crazy about it. Now with all the security hassle, it’s turned into an experience I dread and hate. I’m glad I don’t go to the states because I can hardly even stand the long lineups and security jerkarounds passengers have to go through just on a cross Canada flight.

    Apart from a flight I had to take 2 weeks after 9/11, I’ve never really been all that worried about terrorists, though. Statistically you have a better chance of being struck by lightning.

  5. 5 The Anti-Social Socialist Tuesday, December 29, 2009 at 3:17 pm

    “Seriously… everything! The weather, the Toronto Maple Leafs, the rotten taste of Lucky Lager…”

    Holy hell that would explain it!

    It would explain the near-fanatic loyalty of these people who buy Lucky! Everytime they carry out a crate of that vile, gut-clenching fluid they always seem intent on preaching the Word of Lucky to me; ‘Such good beer!’ and each time I have to quell the urge to vomit all over their shoes.

    It would explain that cartoon beer Pilsner too. And Coors Light. And Bud Light – ESPECIALLY Bud Light Lime *GAG!*

    Hell, most every beer except for stuff like Alexander Keith’s and Unibroue would have ties in with AlQaeda Canada… Slowly infiltrating the Great White North, turning people away from good brew and beer everywhere in favour of their corrupt and disgusting toilet water…

    *GASP!* Ruining the very thing that makes Canada Canada!

    Heretics and heathens!

    And yes, I’m very tired and loopy today.

  6. 6 Phatbiker Tuesday, December 29, 2009 at 3:34 pm

    I hope the asshole burnt his balls off. Security is spread so thin because you don’t want to offend anyone with racial profiling, like X-raying the shoes and searching the luggage of some 70 year old woman from Wyoming is going to make flying safer. Next time I think I will drive to Mexico, not because I’m paranoid about terrorists but can’t deal with the bullshit at the airport.

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