Ted Haggard is completely heterosexual… again

And Mrs.Ted says it’s for real this time (no, really for real!):

Ted Haggard’s wife is standing by her man, no matter how many times he may have had homosexual affairs.

Gayle Haggard appeared on the “Today” show on Wednesday to talk about her new book, “Why I Stayed: The Choices I Made In My Darkest Hour,” and declared that her one-time Evangelical superstar husband was “cured” of his homosexual compulsions.

And you all know what comes next…

16 Responses to “Ted Haggard is completely heterosexual… again”

  1. 1 Bruce Friday, January 29, 2010 at 8:34 pm

    He’s still a faggot with heterosexual tendencies. A hopeless case if I ever saw one.

  2. 2 JJ Friday, January 29, 2010 at 9:07 pm

    Bruce – I always thought he would eventually come out for real, once he realized that all the ex-gay stuff is a scam. But it’s been over 3 years and he’s still at it. I guess he’s still angling to get back into the preacher business, and figures this is the only way to do it. Pretty sad. (Pretty destructive, too — see Uganda and the influence of proponents of “ex-gay” programs.)

  3. 3 Bruce Friday, January 29, 2010 at 9:56 pm

    I always thought he would come out too in some hope that he might be be an honest man. But this is the power of self-denial, a very potent force that drives people to condemn others just like them only because they can’t deal with themselves.

    Uganda right now is a textbook example, a poor, undereducated and tired populace being taken advantage of by unscrupulous bastards with serious personal problems who can do nothing better than prey on the weak.

  4. 4 Liz Friday, January 29, 2010 at 11:41 pm

    Of course she knows that she will have to be tested for HIV every 6 months for 5 years. Good girl!

  5. 5 Torontonian Saturday, January 30, 2010 at 12:51 am

    Perhaps ministry is the only thing he knows to do.

    I’ve always noticed that many evangelists do not
    publish anything about their childhood or educational

    How Haggard came to ministry and progressed through
    the hierarchy to have his own church are facts
    shielded from us.

    Perhaps he has no other skill set; just like
    Stephen Harper who, also, has not had a real job.

  6. 6 psa Saturday, January 30, 2010 at 10:36 am

    good ol’ Ted, he must have worked extra hard at unsucking all that sinful cock.

  7. 7 JJ Saturday, January 30, 2010 at 3:05 pm

    Torontonian – Ted Haggard is an insurance salesman now, but I doubt that brings in the kind of money he’s used to making at his mega-church in Colorado… especially since the economy collapsed.

    Stephen Harper is kind of a career bureaucrat, isn’t he. But he worked for the National Citizens Coalition for awhile, so I guess that’s the private sector.

  8. 8 JJ Saturday, January 30, 2010 at 3:06 pm

    psa – 😆 Yes, but it’s only a matter of time until the winds of change start blowing in the other direction…

  9. 9 Reality Bites Saturday, January 30, 2010 at 3:29 pm

    Bruce, where’s your evidence he has heterosexual tendancies?

    (I just don’t want to see poor JJ sued for libel. 😉 )

  10. 10 Cornelius T.Zen Saturday, January 30, 2010 at 4:57 pm

    Good morrow, all!
    RB: Ted Haggard hates gays. He preaches that his all-powerful, all-seeing, all-knowing and all-loving God also hates gays. He makes his wife endure scandal and shame. He claims that being gay is a “curable” condition, like the heartbreak of psoriasis. He accepts no responsibility for his behavior, and he is attempting to avoid the consequences thereof.
    Can’t get much more hetero than that. – CTZen

  11. 11 Torontonian Saturday, January 30, 2010 at 5:56 pm


    National Citizens’ Coalition is hardly the private sector.
    It’s more like Oxfam, PeTA, Amnesty International,
    United Way.

    Harper’s working for the NCC was more like a sinecure
    rather than anything competitive in the workplace like
    sales, or performance related like production. Of course,
    he’d have to go out and stir up groups of Rotarians and
    Kiwanians or regional PC or Creditiste rallys.

    I hardly think he was under any type of annual performance
    review to keep his job or determine next year’s salary.
    After all, there are a lot of idealist simple-minded
    persons at NCC and it would be easy for Harper to do a
    number on them for another year’s appointment.
    After all, cloth-eared bints tend to find their peers
    and form groups; teabaggers spring to mind.

  12. 12 JJ Sunday, January 31, 2010 at 4:23 pm

    RB – Well, Mrs.Ted is apparently very satisfied with their relationship… but then again, Ted’s probably the only notch in her belt, so what would she know? 😉

  13. 13 JJ Sunday, January 31, 2010 at 4:24 pm


    He claims that being gay is a “curable” condition

    He knows it’s not, and I’m pretty sure by this time he must know that saying it is, over and over, won’t make it so.

  14. 14 JJ Sunday, January 31, 2010 at 4:26 pm

    Torontonian – So he really is a career bureaucrat. Wingnut welfare!

  15. 15 Bleatmop Sunday, January 31, 2010 at 6:21 pm

    Liz – Why for 5 years?

  16. 16 Cornelius T.Zen Sunday, January 31, 2010 at 8:31 pm

    Good morrow, all!
    Bleatmop – because AIDS is a retrovirus. It can lie dormant for years until something else compromises the immunological system, and then it can kick in and render the system open to all kinds of opportunistic disease that otherwise we wouldn’t even notice. Five years of negative test results for the HIV antibodies is a good indication that you dodged the bullet. It also helps to stay happy, healthy and careful.
    JJ – He doesn’t have to believe it, he only has to repeat it in order to make other people believe that he agrees with that idea. Otherwise, he has no audience.
    Come out, come out, whatever you are! – CTZen

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