Dan Savage is right

How is it that our Minister of Pubic Safety, the vile Vic Toews, has managed to hover under the radar for so long?

Certainly Canadians have a live-and-let-live attitude when it comes to our politicians’ private lives, even when they suddenly explode in a chaotic mess of mistresses, illicit babies and acrimonious divorce proceedings.  But when the politician at the heart of the mayhem is Canada’s unofficial, self-appointed “minister of family values”, a sanctimonious suckfish who for awhile made a pretty good living ginning up brainless hysteria by claiming that some marriages were a threat to the entire institution — all while shitting on his own wedding vows — he might deserve a little extra attention.

Via News of the Restless, we learn that USian columnist Dan Savage is not impressed that Canadians have allowed a bigoted hypocrite of Toews’ brain-damaged magnitude to slither out of sight and out of mind without so much as the Santorumization of his name in recognition of his outstanding batshittery.   In his latest column (which happily is syndicated, ie. everywhere), Savage re-tells the tale of Toews and advises us to snap out of our collective stupor and at least give Toews the gift of the ongoing mockery he so richly deserves by Santorumizing his name.  “Toews” (pronounced “Taves”) may not be as much fun to work with as Santorum, but we can do this, yes we can!  Right off the top of my head, toews sounds like some kind of hideous skin eruption, maybe bleeding pustules caused by having sex with blow-up dolls.

Get creative!  Bina is taking suggestions at her place.

21 Responses to “Dan Savage is right”


  1. 1 smelter rat Saturday, March 6, 2010 at 4:26 pm

    Not to mention, he’s one of those “citizens of convenience” that the Reformatories like to shit on whenever they can. ie Paraguayan citizen.

  2. 2 Cornelius T.Zen Saturday, March 6, 2010 at 7:02 pm

    Good morrow, all!
    Ya know, if he could get his handicap down, he’d be Tiger Woods, eh?
    Towes – an unsightly skin condition, only cause known to be clandestine sexual promiscuity, characterized by an outbreak of unsightly, festering, highly communicable hypocrisy.
    Uh-oh, Ca-na-da – CTZen

  3. 3 Torontonian Saturday, March 6, 2010 at 9:03 pm

    At least the hideous skin eruptions doesn’t sound
    nearly as bad as sphincteral ejecta.

  4. 4 beijing york Saturday, March 6, 2010 at 9:38 pm

    Yes, it’s about time we go after Vic Toews. He made a huge infrastructure grant to Youth for Christ possible in Winnipeg. This was all through back room wheeling and dealing. He is a fake and hypocrite of the highest order.

  5. 5 CanNurse Saturday, March 6, 2010 at 11:12 pm

    Agreed, beijing york, et al. I wanna know what happened to the wife of 35 years. He bloody well better be paying spousal support. And where’s his new baby? Did he marry mistress?
    And is he a Mennonite (as his name suggests) or is he one of Harpo’s evangelicals, or a combi-nut? Just askin.

  6. 6 CanNurse Saturday, March 6, 2010 at 11:14 pm

    Oh year, “Tave” The Verb, “to Tave”. eg. He should be TAVED! Boy, that newspaper article sure TAVED Helena! Just wait til your brother gets home & you will be so Taved! ….& so on.

  7. 7 JJ Saturday, March 6, 2010 at 11:51 pm

    CanNurse – Don’t TAVE me, bro! 😯

    In answer to yr other question, I think Mr. Toews is of the Mennonite faith. But I’ve known Mennonites who are quite sane, so Vic’s Problem has nothing to do with his faith. Sanctimonious assholes come in every flavour under the sun.

  8. 8 Bleatmop Sunday, March 7, 2010 at 1:21 am

    First we have Tax and Spend Fiscal Conservatives in our government, now we have Marry then Cheat and Divorce Social Conservatives. What’s next? Tough on Crime Conservative Drug Dealers (or would that go the other way around…hmmm?)

  9. 9 brebis noire Sunday, March 7, 2010 at 6:37 am

    Oh that’s for sure. He totally gives all of the good-book abiding, boring Toews I’ve known in my life (and I’ve known many) a bad name. The reason this hasn’t made more of a splash is that most people can’t get their heads around a Toews carrying on this way. Does not compute.

    Lots of Mennonites turn evangelical because it’s more mainstream (and less oriented toward social justice and pacificism…) but not all of them turn full-coat into politically active, moralising busybody harpocrites with young mistresses on the side.

  10. 10 Alison S Sunday, March 7, 2010 at 8:56 am

    The young mistress must have been desperate for a shag. He’s just yucky, not to mention a major lying heaping pile of dung.

  11. 11 balbulican Sunday, March 7, 2010 at 10:02 am

    “How is it that our Minister of Pubic Safety, the vile Vic Toews, has managed to hover under the radar for so long?”

    A surfeit of opportunities?

  12. 12 JJ Sunday, March 7, 2010 at 10:11 am

    balb 😆 There’s definitely been no shortage of good material. Toews owes a lot to his fellow cons for keeping everyone distracted.

  13. 13 JJ Sunday, March 7, 2010 at 10:16 am

    smelter rat – 😯 Toews is a Paraguayan-Canadian? (Paraguay… isn’t that where old Nazis go to hide?)

  14. 14 JJ Sunday, March 7, 2010 at 10:18 am

    Torontonian

    At least the hideous skin eruptions doesn’t sound nearly as bad as sphincteral ejecta.

    Ding ding ding we have a winner

  15. 15 JJ Sunday, March 7, 2010 at 10:35 am

    brebis

    Lots of Mennonites turn evangelical because it’s more mainstream

    There are a lot of sane evangelicals too. (Although the fundamentalists are pretty universally weird.)

    That said, I had dinner last night with someone who regaled me with predictions about the End Times… I drank heavily…

  16. 16 Cornelius T.Zen Sunday, March 7, 2010 at 10:41 am

    Good morrow, all!
    Actually, the Second Coming has already happened. However, Jesus couldn’t get tickets to the men’s gold medal game, gave up and went home. Imagine the reaction of the crowds watching the game: “Piss off! We’re in overtime!”
    There goes the weekend – CTZen

  17. 17 toujoursdan Sunday, March 7, 2010 at 12:59 pm

    There are all kinds of Mennonites from liberal progressive tree huggers to right wingers.

  18. 18 fern hill Sunday, March 7, 2010 at 1:01 pm

    CTZen: LOL (and I use that only when I actually laugh out loud).

  19. 19 Top Cat Sunday, March 14, 2010 at 10:02 am

    Not to worry Vic. Your view is that of the vast majority of North Americans. Unfortunately the youth of today have been conned by far left loons who are now in the majority at our institutes of ‘higher’ learning. Young lefties usually learn as they gain experience through life lessons and become conservative before middle age. Me thinks this Savage guy is full of self loathing. He can be helped if he looks in the right places.

  20. 20 deBeauxOs Sunday, March 14, 2010 at 10:24 am

    Vic’s view is that of the majority of North Americans?

    Somehow I doubt that the majority of North Americans, even the men, sexually harass and screw employees of the organizations they work for, impregnate them, dump their 20 years+ marriages and then lecture the rubes about “family values”.

    Oh wait. Republican and Con politicians, as well as corporate CEOs have a habit of doing that, don’t they? Now there’s a classy minority of power-mongering selfish, greedy hypocrites.

  21. 21 JJ Sunday, March 14, 2010 at 12:21 pm

    as well as corporate CEOs have a habit of doing that, don’t they?

    Only the ones that vote for the “family values” party, apparently. I haven’t noticed any of this kind of scandal involving Warren Buffett, Bill Gates or George Soros 😉

    Let “topcat” enjoy his daydreams…


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