Unhappy Meal

If the fact that it’s a nutritionally-bankrupt, fat-laden, sodium-loaded, chemically-enhanced (and not in a good way!) heart attack in a box isn’t enough to deter you, here’s something else that might give you cause to pause before wheeling into the Golden Arches Drive-Thru for that yummy Happy Meal.

Last spring, a New York photographer decided to conduct a Science Experiment of sorts on a Mcdonalds Happy Meal, and the results, or should I say the lack thereof, were appetite-challenging to say the least:

Not much has changed since April 10, 2010 on Day one. The top bun is very dry and a small part snapped off. The burger shrank as it dried out, but nothing much else.  […]

The Happy Meal stopped smelling of anything after only a couple days, and the only change that really seemed to occur was that it essentially plasticized. “At six months old, the food is plastic to the touch and has an acrylic sheen to it. The only change that I can see is that it has become hard as a rock,” Davies told the Mail.

No, really.
Maybe those plastic “toys” that come with the Happy Meals are just hunks of calcified meat-like substance that the burger flippers sweep off the floor every night and save.  Or maybe they’re not toys at all, they’re the plastic dessert that goes with the *heave* plastic “meal”.

17 Responses to “Unhappy Meal”


  1. 1 balbulican Wednesday, October 13, 2010 at 11:42 am

    So you’re saying that a diet of happy meals is a guarantee of longevity and a halt to the aging process?

  2. 2 Kim Wednesday, October 13, 2010 at 1:42 pm

    the only guarantee is the immortality of your feces. There is a really good chance it’ll halt the aging process though, if by that you mean you will cease to live.

  3. 3 Bleatmop Wednesday, October 13, 2010 at 2:06 pm

    I read the article and it makes no mention of what kind of environment the food was stored in (that I saw). I’ve seen McDonald’s buns go moldy before. I’ve had the meat rot after just a week of sitting in the back seat of my car in the hot summer heat. The fries though, those things are indestructible. I’ve found them in near perfect shape (minus some dirt) in my car, and I only cleaned under those seat about once a year. Thus, I’m guessing (and it looks) that this is a more sterile environment. I wonder what any kind of food would look like if kept in a sterile environment after 6 months.

  4. 4 Willy Wednesday, October 13, 2010 at 3:58 pm

    There are three French fries missing in the second picture. That is also somewhat worrisome.

  5. 5 JJ Wednesday, October 13, 2010 at 5:18 pm

    balb

    So you’re saying that a diet of happy meals is a guarantee of longevity and a halt to the aging process?

    Let’s just say that even as I type there’s a happy meal in the blender being pureed into something I can rub on my face before I go to sleep tonight.

  6. 6 JJ Wednesday, October 13, 2010 at 5:21 pm

    Kim – We’ll see. I’m hoping my Happy Meal Moisturizer will not only halt the aging process, but reverse it several years.

  7. 7 JJ Wednesday, October 13, 2010 at 5:35 pm

    bleatmop

    I’ve seen McDonald’s buns go moldy before.

    Once I saved half of a Bacon Double Cheeseburger from lunch with the idea of having it for dinner. Fortunately I opened it up and had a look at it before scarfing it down: the bacon was a disturbing shade of green *heave* But it may have been that way when I bought it 😯

    It’s likely that this Happy Meal was kept in some kind of sealed environment, ie. a tupperware container, that slowed the rotting process. But if the bun got hard, that might indicate it was exposed to at least some open air.

    One of my old dogs used to routinely turn his back on McDonalds burger leftovers. He’d take Egg McMuffins, but not the burgers. And this is a DOG, an animal known to eat its own shit from time to time.

  8. 8 JJ Wednesday, October 13, 2010 at 5:38 pm

    Willy

    There are three French fries missing in the second picture. That is also somewhat worrisome.

    😆 😆 😆 😆

    Next time try a “Swallow drink down before reading” disclaimer 😉

    (And yes, you made me count.)

  9. 9 Jasper Wednesday, October 13, 2010 at 5:39 pm

    I like McDonalds. I usually get a #2, biggie size. That’s a quarter pounder with cheese and french fries. Big Mac’s are great too…

  10. 10 JJ Wednesday, October 13, 2010 at 5:52 pm

    Jasper – Every time you eat a McDonald’s burger, a gay couple gets married.

    Fasten your seatbelt, you’re hellbound.

  11. 11 MgS Wednesday, October 13, 2010 at 6:37 pm

    Perhaps the most disturbing thought is that even a housefly wouldn’t lay eggs in the “patty” … I thought maggots would eat anything organic…

  12. 12 JJ Wednesday, October 13, 2010 at 11:33 pm

    MgS – McBarf! 😯 :o<<

  13. 13 southern quebec Thursday, October 14, 2010 at 1:10 am

    If you ever really want to quit McD cold turkey, watch Super Size Me! The director of the movie only eats at McD for 30 days. At the end of the month, there are serious health issues (d’uh!) not to mention mental health issues. Lovin’ it!! Go take a look at how they make McNuggets. Veganville babe…

    Jasper…keep on eating! I understand that the socialists in your government will provide you with a scooter when you pack on the pounds so that you can get to those Glenn Beck rallies! 🙂

  14. 14 J. A. Baker Thursday, October 14, 2010 at 6:04 am

    At the end of the month, there are serious health issues (d’uh!) not to mention mental health issues. Lovin’ it!! Go take a look at how they make McNuggets.

    And not only that, it takes only two days before he starts barfing up the “food” he’s eating!

  15. 15 J. A. Baker Thursday, October 14, 2010 at 6:10 am

    Jasper – Every time you eat a McDonald’s burger, a gay couple gets married.

    Fasten your seatbelt, you’re hellbound. Fasten your seatbelt, you’re hellbound.

    On your crazy train, no less!

  16. 16 croghan27 Thursday, October 14, 2010 at 2:49 pm

    “…watch Super Size Me! The director of the movie only eats at McD for 30 days.”

    Would not the same thing happen with any dish if it is the sole nutritional intake? I know a small mouse will provide for the entire food needs of a cat – but we ain’t built that way.

  17. 17 southern quebec Saturday, October 16, 2010 at 1:29 am

    croghan:

    He didn’t just eat Big Macs. It was everything on the menu. Breakfast…the english muffin thing. Even the salads were fattening! Check out the salad dressing ingredients. In the film, they said that the only two things at McD that didn’t have sugar were the Filet of Fish and (I think) the McNuggets.

    In the book The End of Overeating, the author discusses how the fast food industry has figured out just the right proportions of fat/sugar/salt that each product “needs” for the consumer to eat more. It is depressing to see how they can get away with selling this crap as “food” when really it is just a mixture of chemicals with a bit of beef thrown in so they can call it a hamburger.


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