Fetus Fetishists: Knock knock

Everyone Else:  Who’s there?

Fetus Fetishists: We Want the Debate!

Everyone Else:  I said, Who’s there?

Fetus Fetishists:  We Want the Debate!!

Everyone Else:  Hello?? Bueller??

Fetus Fetishists:  We Want the Debate!!!

Everyone Else:  I thought I heard something out there… must have been the cat, passing wind… damn, I’m not going out there for awhile.  Toxic Cat Farts…ugh…


Like an endless knock-knock joke with no punchline, it’s not easy for a fetus fetishist to get any attention these days. It seems that no sooner to do they start flapping their gums at top speed about their favourite subject than everyone else’s eyes glaze over, eardrums explode and bodies hit the floor, comatose.  Disinterest — on a massive scale.

Now they’ve launched a campaign to “Re-open The Debate… “The Debate” that was closed over 23 years ago.  The debate that they, a tiny minority, nonetheless incessantly jabber and shriek and bitch and bleat and tear their hair over, in an escalating collective nervous breakdown that sounds less like vocalization than the brainless static of dumb white noise punctuated by monotonous feral grunts.

From what they call a “press release”:

A group within the educational pro-life movement is about to throw down the gauntlet on what the group claims is the current censorship and hostility toward any attempt to debate abortion.

Right out of the gate, the C-word — “censorship” — proving they have a fundamental misunderstanding of what the word “censorship” means.  Fetus Fetishists, being small-n nazis at heart, seem to genuinely believe that not only do they have the right to mouth off, but they also have the right to an audience, the audience of their choosing (ie. women on their way into a clinic), and if their feverish rants fail to draw the audience they want, it’s “censorship”.  It never occurs to them that nobody’s being stopped from hearing what they have to say; it’s just that most people aren’t all that interested in the goofy dogmatic swill they dish up non-stop, and hearing it just makes their eyes glaze over, their eardrums explode…

This group, known as the We Want the Debate Campaign, will challenge anyone who wishes to defend abortion to an open, transparent and fair debate in front of the people of Ontario. Over the next four months, the campaign will conduct a series of activities to highlight current contradictions and misconceptions that warp the public’s view of abortion. They will expose a systematic distortion by the overwhelming majority of the media of the facts of abortion. They will also denounce the Federal Government’s disregard of the wishes of most Canadians to allow a discussion on the future of abortion in our country.

A senseless challenge:  abortion doesn’t need defending, except from them.  It’s a safe guess that the people of Ontario, and Canada for that matter, are no more interested in rehashing a decades-old debate over a gynecological procedure than they are in discussing what kind of prostate treatment should be available to men.  Most of us rightly feel that these things are between doctor and patient, and the idea of “debating” such personal issues in a public venue is tacky, weird and very bad form to say the least.

On the lighter side, the graphic on their website is inadvertently hilarious…

Blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda yak yak yakety yak
What the majority of Canada hears when fetus fetishists speak: “———-“

…because that’s what most people hear when anti-choicers rail on and on about abortion: a bunch of blank lines, blablablablablablabla, dumb white noise, yaddayaddayadda.  And the eyes glaze over, and the eardrums explode, and the bodies hit the floor…

16 Responses to “Fetus Fetishists: Knock knock”

  1. 1 J. A. Baker Tuesday, October 18, 2011 at 7:14 pm

    Toxic Cat Farts…ugh…

    😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆

    On a more serious note, do you know of any history of violence against abortion clinics in Canada since R v. Morgentaler, or is that just an artifact of the abortion “debate” here in the Excited States?

  2. 2 bleatmop Tuesday, October 18, 2011 at 7:32 pm

    I invite them to have this debate. Since they seem to think that they are being censored I have a man made of straw that they can debate against. They can tell him what his positions are and then refute these statements and declare victory.

    Just like in real life.

  3. 3 ck Tuesday, October 18, 2011 at 8:39 pm

    “educational pro-life movement” Isn’t that an oxymoron?

  4. 4 fern hill Wednesday, October 19, 2011 at 4:16 am

    @JAB: Oh yeah, we got anti-abortion violence.

    And this Saturday in Toronto, the fetus fetishists are putting on a Defund Abortion Bunfest. Neat twist is that they expected NeoCon Tim Hudak (he who signed a defund abortion petition then denied it) to be premier by now. Ha.

  5. 5 k'in, Wednesday, October 19, 2011 at 3:44 pm

    Heh-maybe they should ask Rick “my wife had an….ah, furggetabout it, it was different….after all we named it & put it in a jar” Santorum if he’d like to “debate”…

  6. 6 bleatmop Thursday, October 20, 2011 at 9:21 am

    K’in: Don’t you know that the only moral abortion is one that a conservative does?

  7. 7 JJ Thursday, October 20, 2011 at 5:06 pm

    Yeppers. Not as much as you guys have, since we don’t have as many religious nuts up here. But violent fetus fetishists are definitely part of our landscape… part of the reason we have bubble zones around clinics (zones where they can’t protest).

  8. 8 JJ Thursday, October 20, 2011 at 5:08 pm

    Yeah, that’s pretty much what “The Debate” they’re blithering about would go like. They’re not interested in “debate” anyway, they’re interested in propagandizing, and they already do that.

  9. 9 JJ Thursday, October 20, 2011 at 5:08 pm

    “Educational”: when they say it, read “propagandizing”.

  10. 10 JJ Thursday, October 20, 2011 at 5:21 pm

    Haha indeed. One thing about the focus on funding that’s encouraging is it means they’ve started realizing that focusing on the procedure itself is a non-starter. Not that they’ll ever give up on it — there will always be about 10% of the public that feels compelled to jam its collective nose in women’s crotches.

  11. 12 The Arbourist Friday, October 21, 2011 at 9:34 am

    Agreed Bleat but you missed the part where they get all flustered and apoplectic after you spank them hard in “debate”. Then they whinge about being mistreated. Cue the persecuted routine.

    It is not persecution when you’re wrong. You’re just wrong.

  12. 13 J. A. Baker Monday, October 24, 2011 at 7:11 pm

    Good to know.

    So… about those toxic cat farts. What have you been feeding Mr. Blue? 😛

  13. 14 JJ Tuesday, October 25, 2011 at 10:58 pm

    I think she’s been feeding on some kind of wild game, by the smell of it. Maybe roadkill 😦 Her farts are enough to give you a migraine.

  14. 15 J. A. Baker Wednesday, October 26, 2011 at 8:18 am

    You sure it wasn’t Fart Stew™? 😛

  15. 16 JJ Wednesday, October 26, 2011 at 3:52 pm

    😆 No, I haven’t made Fart Stew for awhile.

    But thanks for reminding me… the weather is getting cool and rainy, just about right for Fart Stew.

    But first I have to armour up my fridge in case I have another explosion incident 😯

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