Stories chronicling the unspeakable violence of Black Friday competitive shopping continue to light up the internets and terrify the world.
The Walmart shopper who cleared a path to the Half-Price X-Boxes by forcing shoppers to cop a lungful of pepper spray has turned herself in to Teh Authorities. (No word if she’s been told to return the X-Box, though her terror attack on Aisle 5 would make it the Proceeds of Crime, would it not?)
Next: Disappointed when a Hollister store didn’t open at midnight as expected, an Angry Mob put on a literal “Door Crasher” sale of their own, kicking the store’s doors in, crowding inside and in a frenzied orgy of consumerism, absconding with everything they could carry.
The brutal violence was everywhere, but the tacky WallyWorld was hardest hit. An abbreviated summary:
At an Arizona Walmart, a grandfather shopping with his grandson had to stash a video game under his shirt to protect it from a vicious Competitive Shopping mob that was trying to seize it from him. A cop on the scene caught the play and seized Gramps, slammed his face into the ground and put his lights out for ten minutes, then arrested him and took him to the Graybar Hotel for the night. The whole routine is now being “investigated”.