Archive for the 'america the beautiful' Category

The Good, the Bad & the Weird

In the vicious political circus south of the border, where they’re apparently having one of those “Presidential Elections” later this year, evidence of the retrograde brain damage afflicting the Republican Party continues to mount relentlessly. It’s been showcased all this week in the Republican National Convention, and last night it spiraled into madness.

Clint Eastwood showed up — more or less — and made the teabaggers’ day with an odd, sometimes incoherent routine that had him debating an empty chair and getting his ass kicked by it.  It was a strange and terrifying schtick, particularly for those of us at seniorhood’s doorstep.  And apparently not great PR, because after it painfully concluded actor Chris Rock was prompted to tweet:

And no wonder:


In other RNC News Of The Weird, Karl Rove apparently wants to whack Todd Akin:

We should sink Todd Akin. If he’s found mysteriously murdered, don’t look for my whereabouts!

Only a high-profile Republican windbag could get away with openly musing about assassinating someone.  But why not?  Akin might well be responsible for the GOP losing its chance to gain control of the Senate with his own bizarre comments about “Legitimate Rape“.  Not that he expressed an opinion most Republicans don’t share: his mistake was going public with it and getting caught, and then refusing to step down.

Meanwhile in Akinworld, the recalcitrant senatorial candidate begs for donations on Twitter, cursing the GOP’s upper echelons as the “liberal elite”.

 I’d be watching my back if I were him.

It’s all over now, leaving nothing in its wake but a riot of “MITT!” signs, a few random dried-out piles of elephant poop and some strange, strange memories. But as weird as the RNC was, stranger still is the fact that after electing a candidate the base despises, but who happens to be the only thing they can come up with that stands a chance in a general election, it still hasn’t occurred to the GOP that maybe what they really need a new base.


UPDATE:  And right on schedule, the inevitable half-hearted apology.  From Rove, anyway.   Clint Eastwood has yet to apologize for his abysmally weird performance,  unless he apologized to an empty chair.


UPDATER:  With typical deftness, balb points out that Eastwood’s speech may in fact have been Performance Art.  It makes sense when you think about it: the Empty Chair represents the Obama that only conservatives of the teabagging persuasion can see — the America-hater, the Socialist, the Kenyan Usurper, the Bloodthirsty Babykiller, the Far-Left Extremist and Presider Over Death Panels.

“Legitimate Rape”

If the Republican Party can survive this kind of vicious idiocy:

Rep. Todd Akin, the Republican nominee for Senate in Missouri who is running against Sen. Claire McCaskill, justified his opposition to abortion rights even in case of rape with a claim that victims of “legitimate rape” have unnamed biological defenses that prevent pregnancy.

“First of all, from what I understand from doctors [pregnancy from rape] is really rare,” Akin told KTVI-TV in an interview postedSunday. “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”

…then I have to admit I’m rapidly losing all hope for our southern neighbours and will begin lobbying Ottawa for a Zombie Wall along the 49th Parallel ASAP.


Then what would be “Illegitimate Rape”?  And what is this magic spermicidal hormone we apparently secrete during “Legitimate Rape”?

I can’t wait to see the AMA‘s response to this.


“I MISSPOKE” UPDATE:  Yep, that’s his excuse.  No, really.

Sorry dude, you’re now the Legitimate Rape Guy.  Hopefully your body will excrete some kind of reputation-cleansing hormone and all will be well.

(h/t the Rev on Twitter)

Profiles in Pusillanimity

Pusillanimous: what a truly elegant way to say “gutless”.  I really love that word; sadly, opportunities to use it are few and far between, since “gutless” or “spineless” or “cowardly” are usually sufficient.

But not this week.  Various high-profile Republicans were recently asked if they’d repudiate the brainlessly misogynist trash-talk of their Intellectual & Spiritual Leader and Titular Head, Garbagemouth McPigboy, and their flaccid, mealy-mouthed responses were nothing less than pusillanimous:

John Boehner called Limbaugh’s spittle-flecked rant “inappropriate”.  Um, no: getting drunk at the office Christmas party is “inappropriate” — the twisted attacks on Sandra Fluke were more akin to getting drunk at the office Christmas party and taking a dump in the punch bowl. Several magnitudes (or maybe even orders of magnitude) more inappropriate than “inappropriate”.

Mitt Romney, the Invertebrate Who Would Be King, said “I’ll just say this, which is, it’s not the language I would have used.”  Presumably this means Mitt was okay with the insults, just not the delivery.  Fail!

Rick Santorum made some weird rambling remark about how Limbaugh was “being absurd”, like an “entertainer”.  And?  And nothing, which also suggests that he didn’t really have a problem with it.  Not that I’d expect any less from someone who’s on the record as wanting to ban contraception altogether.

To the surprise of absolutely nobody, not one of these baffled little pencil-necked creeps could bring himself to say the PigMan was Wrong and Dumb and a disgrace to the GOP and the conservative movement.

And that, my fine friends, is exactly what’s Wrong and Dumb about the GOP and the conservative movement.

UPDATE:  At least someone is standing up to El Pigbo’s raging assholishness.  Advertisers have started a mass-exodus from his show, and now a couple of radio stations are dropping it completely.  This thing has legs: long, lean, muscular, marathon-running legs, unlike those flabby stumps the Pigman autoambulates himself around on.  Ya think?

(Edited to fix insanely bad use of the phrase “orders of magnitude”. Proofread!)

Rush Limbaugh: Human or DNA Experiment?

Who knows?  Whatever his DNA composition might be, around here Rush Limbaugh is Swine of the Week in Perpetuity — meaning that when I pronounce someone SOTW, it’s an unfinished sentence the rest of which is “in addition to Rush Limbaugh”.  And this past week was no different.

The GOP’s message to women as barfed out by its Intellectual & Spiritual Leader and Titular Head this week could not have been clearer: any woman who stands up for self-determination is a Slut.  My own reaction to El Rushbo’s putrid rant was something like this:

A PigMan!  It’s a PigMan!! 

“And he made this horrible sound…”indeed:

“She wants to be paid to have sex,” Limbaugh continued. “She’s having so much sex she can’t afford the contraception.”

But that, incredibly, was not the depth of depravity Limbaugh sunk to that day, or even that quarter-hour.  He went on to demand that Ms. Fluke post sex videos of herself online… “so we can all watch”.

BAM!  The wheels of my little office chair spun angrily as I reeled back and threw up in my mouth a little, my imagination assaulted by grotesque visions of El Puerco and his flaccid, fascist cohorts slobbering over grainy videos and squealing angrily as they yanked at their withered and unresponsive knobs.

The horror, the horror…

Even if it was just for a nanosecond, in my own fevered imagination.

Speaking of Quarter-Hours: once upon a time I worked with the Media, and I’m excruciatingly familiar with the timetable of Arbitron radio surveys.  And guess what:  the last few weeks of the winter survey are upon us.  Could it be that El Piggo’s ratings were swirling in the bowl so badly for the first few weeks that he needed to commit some outrage to jack them up?  Naaahhhh…

No matter.  Reams of pixels and pages have already been devoted to the latest ratings-ratcheting offense from this hideous Science Experiment of a man, so I will leave it to my Intellectual & Spiritual Leader to sum it up:

Rush Limbaugh is a lame professional Swine and he makes a good living at it. He is like a hired Geek in some traveling backwoods carnival — the freaks who bite the heads off Chickens — but Limbaugh is a modernized Geek who thinks he can bite the heads off of people.

I only wish the Good Doctor was still around to comment on the head-biting his “lame professional swine” continues to indulge in to this very day. Mahalo.

UPDATE:  A half-hearted apology was apparently made, but to no avail.  Advertisers continue marching out the door.

Blogging buddy Left Over wonders if this incident might be a kind of tipping point for the (admittedly small) part of Limbaugh’s audience that swims in the deeper end of the gene pool, causing them to recoil in disgust from His Piggishness.  What do you think?  I suspect most will just double down.

12 memorable SOTU moments

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