Woodworth’s Wank Revisited

Like many progressives, fern hill is looking for a way to unite the opposition parties, and she may have found one.

Regular readers will recall MP Stephen Woodworth’s bilious bleating on Twitter about “when life begins”, which unlike most Canadians, Woodworth contends is “in the petri dish”.  His embryo-obsessed Twit-jaculations started in December and evolved into the waste of taxpayer dollars known as the Motion 312 debate scheduled for April 26th.  There’s been a surprising dearth of commentary from our elected officials on this thing, considering the profound impact it could have on women’s reproductive freedom.  The motion is a dumbly transparent attempt to get a foot in the door to turning back the clock on rights which were hard-fought and hard-won by the side of liberty many years ago… yo, fetus fetishists, we won.  You lost.  Get the fuck over it.

As decidedly absurd as the motion is, assurances that pro-choice MPs, opposition and otherwise, will unite against it would be most welcome.  They are, after all, our only voice in the thing.  Which brings me to Fern Hill, The Uniter.

Yesterday in an Open Letter to Opposition Women’s Caucuses, she lit the proverbial fire under some pampered Parliamentary arses by reminding them of this issue and asking that all pro-choice MPs stand against Woodworth’s Wank (Fern’s nickname for 312: your suggestions are welcome!) when it comes up for debate.  Something like pronouncing it a waste of taxpayer dollars and an insult to hard-working Canadians concerned about REAL issues like jobs and the economy, then walking out in unison, would turn my frown upside-down.  (A full-on toothy grin could be achieved if the MPs were to roughly stand up, upending the debate table, and amid tumbling papers and laptops and coffees scream “Fuck you people!” and then walk out in unison… but I don’t think it’s in the cards.)

The good news is, we have signs of life!  We may see a unified opposition yet, at least on this issue.

9 Responses to “Woodworth’s Wank Revisited”


  1. 1 fern hill Wednesday, March 28, 2012 at 10:10 am

    Yes! Upending tables! Tumbling papers! Bad language!

    The middle-finger salute!

    Unfuckinglikely but fun to imagine.

  2. 2 fern hill Wednesday, March 28, 2012 at 10:45 am

    I left a comment a little while ago and it hasn’t appeared. Are you moderating, JJ?

    • 3 JJ Wednesday, March 28, 2012 at 12:55 pm

      Nope, no moderation here ever. Primarily because I haven’t got what it takes in the memory department to keep on top of it.

      You were imprisoned in Spam Jail. Fucking WordPress, fuck those fucking fuckers

  3. 4 cityprole Wednesday, March 28, 2012 at 11:36 am

    The problem is, that, with a majority, the CRAPS won’t care..who knows what nefarious little twitches they are capable of..will the public be outraged?..uh, yeah, but then, they’ve been outraged before..doesn’t change a thing…

    • 5 JJ Wednesday, March 28, 2012 at 1:00 pm

      That’s why something like this must never be allowed to make it to the voting stage… bad enough they’re just debating it, but that’s the first wedge in the door.

      Believe it or not, there are a few CPC MPs who are prochoice… John Baird is one, and over at DammitJanet they have a list of some more. If they can be convinced to overlook ideology we have a fighting chance. Somehow I doubt Harper would whip a vote on something like this.

  4. 6 fern hill Wednesday, March 28, 2012 at 12:02 pm

    I’m going to try again. Two comments have gone bye-byes. Don’t you love me anymore, JJ?

    I love the upended tables, tumbling papers, and bad language. I’d add a middle-finger salute too.

    Unfuckinglikely, though.


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